Circle of Life
by jennsoaps
Summary: First-time poster. This is a futuristic AU involving most of the characters POV, though the main character(s) will be obvious. A lot of what has already happened on the show is referenced, but I've played loose with the timeline and I have updated all chapters for story flow purposes. Don't own anything, all Shonda. Thanks.
1. A Medical Mystery

CIRCLE OF LIFE

The file just kept reappearing. It was almost five years old and so she had moved it to the "Derek's Old Cases" drawer ... again and again. But it kept popping up - on her desk, on her chair, even in her brief case. So Amelia stopped filing it away and kept it on the desk in the "To Be Filed" bin. Derek's picture was just behind the bin, staring out at her.

"Okay, Derek, I get it... You're trying to tell me something, something about this patient who you treated four years ago. But what?" she humphed.

Amelia really had no idea what she was supposed to be looking for. The file was labeled "Patient C", no personal information about the patient was inside the folder. Just a couple pages of Derek's chicken scratch. The first page had a chart on it - numbers headlined the columns "O" to "9" and a bunch of numbers under each column that she really didn't understand what they represented. And the chart wasn't fully filled out - Derek stopped filling it in after column "5" - but the numbers in the previous columns were within the relative range of each other. Column "4" had letters written at the bottom: "DAOM" was circled and recircled and recircled... Amelia could picture Derek sitting at his desk circling it over and over again, absent-mindedly but clearly upset. Underneath those letters were "RIP".

Amelia slammed the file shut. "You haven't given me anything to work with!" she grumbled at her brother's picture as she pushed away from the desk. She grabbed her notebook and headed out of the office. She was late for a staff meeting.

 _Derek rolled his eyes as he watched his sister storm out of the office. He had been sitting on the arm of her office couch - unseen, obviously - while she looked over the file. He went over and sat in her chair, though technically it was his chair. It felt weird. He shifted positions a couple of times and then sighed. Clearly Amelia has made the chair her own, he grimaced. Turning his attention away from the chair, he looked around the desk. Deja vu. It had been almost two years since he was last in this office. The picture Amelia had of him was a very un-medical one: he was at the trailer, grilling up some of his freshly caught Trout. He wondered if she chose that picture on purpose, as not to feel threatened by his being THE Dr. Shepherd doctors, residents, and interns referred to. If they referred to Amelia, it was always, "Oh, right, the OTHER Dr. Shepherd." He, of course, couldn't control how people viewed Amelia or her opinion that he could have done more to not make her feel that way. He shrugged - he supposed he could have. But that wasn't his job then and it certainly wasn't now. Now, his job was to connect Amelia with his patient before it was too late. He picked up the file. It was true there wasn't a lot to go on, but Amelia was missing the big picture, in part because she was letting her emotions get in the way. Growing up with four sisters, Derek understood about women and their emotions. That's why he had rarely ever let himself get emotional and focused on the three C's: calm, cool, and collected. "She'll figure it out," he assured himself. "She has too."_

Amelia entered the conference room. Chief Bailey briefly looked up at her as she walked in, but Amelia didn't say anything as she grabbed a seat next to Owen. Fifteen minutes later the meeting was over. Thankfully this wasn't a lecture hall in med school with a pop quiz pending because Amelia would surely flunk it, as she couldn't tell you what was said. She spent the whole meeting doodling in her notepad "DAOM" and the number "4", circling both much the way she had seen the letters circled in the file.

"Still thinking about that patient file of Derek's?" Owen asked as he and Amelia lingered behind.

"Clearly he's trying to tell me something about this patient," Amelia sighed, "and I haven't got a clue."

Owen smiled sympathetically. This file had been bothering his wife for the past couple of days, to the point she was beginning to lose sleep over it. He wasn't one to believe in signs from the afterlife, but Amelia did and he couldn't deny that the file has just seemed to mystically appear time and again. "The case is not yet five years old, right?" he queried suddenly struck with a thought.

"Right. So?"

"So it would still be in the computer's mainframe. A file doesn't automatically go into the back-up system until it's five years old."

"Yes, but I don't know what I would look up since there isn't a name in the file."

"But there is a patient identification number... Derek would have had to log the patient's personal information in the computer otherwise the information wouldn't get saved," Owen pointed out.

Amelia shot up. "The Patient ID number! Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't you think of this sooner?" she grumbled. She grabbed her notebook and tore out of the conference room, with a vigor in her step and newfound determination to solve the mystery. Owen simply chuckled under his breath as he followed her out.

Amelia quickly dashed into her office, grabbed the file off her desk, and dashed back out, making a beeline for the hospital's computer mainframe. Even though Derek wasn't working any active cases back then due to splitting his time between Seattle and Washington, D.C., if he saw this Patient C he would have kept an official record of it. Owen came up behind Amelia as she quickly typed in her password to access the mainframe and typed in the Patient ID number in the file. "I am actually going to be able to sleep tonight!" she gushed as she waited for the information to come up.

The screen dung. Owen's eyes widened in surprise as Amelia looked at the pop-up message confused. "What the hell is this?" she fumed, furiously punching keys on the keyboard to remove the message and get to the information she needed, but the pop-up message remained: PASSCODE ACCESS ONLY.

"What the hell is this, Owen?" Amelia shook her head in annoyance. "Why would Derek require a passcode to access a patient's file in the computer?"

 _Derek watched from the doorway to Amelia's office. His eyes had shot up with curiosity when she had rushed in and grabbed the file from the desk. He couldn't hear what she and Owen were saying, but he could see them by the computer mainframe and was trying to recall what, if any, information he had logged about this patient. Then he remembered -just as Amelia stormed back into the office, followed by Owen, "passing" him on her way back in._

"A passcode access ... why would he have done that?" she fumed, pacing. She turned and grabbed Derek's picture off her desk. "Why would you have done that!" She half threw the picture back on her desk in annoyance.

"My guess is he didn't want anybody coming across the information, either on purpose or accidentally." Owen offers.

"But why?"

"He didn't want to take the chance of anyone finding out who he was treating."

"But why?"

Owen shrugged. "I have no idea!"

"Great...just great," Amelia fumed more to herself. "Now I have to come up with a date Derek would have used as a passcode...there are just a few BILLION possibilities!"

The next day Amelia groggedly made her way out to the Bay. Her long, curly dark hair was haphazardly pulled back in a ponytail and her clothes clearly hastily put on given their disshelved appearance. She had spent most of the night coming up with dates Derek could have possibly used as a passcode and most of the morning trying them out, with no success. Two ambulances were pulling up and doctors running to them as they stopped to see what they had in terms of patients. Amelia looked up as the second ambulance pulled in, but instead of rushing to it, she remained in place, her eyes transfixed. There, on the outer skirts of the Bay, was Derek - or someone who looked like him. She blinked and the image was gone.

"Shepherd!" Bailey called out.

Amelia shook her head as if clearing away cobwebs in front of her. "Sorry, what do we got?"

Bailey looked at her attending cross-eyed. She has been acting weird the last few days - at least weirder than usual. But she decided to hold her tongue for now as they had trauma patients to tend to. She turned back to the patients, but her eye caught on something. "What's wrong?" Amelia asked anxiously. She noticed that Bailey seemed to be looking, transfixed, in the same area where she had seen Derek just a few minutes before. Bailey shook her head. "Nothing ... I thought I saw someone I knew," she explained, dismissing it in the next breath. "Let's go! There are patients to tend to!" Amelia paused as she turned to go back into the hospital. She looked to the outskirts of the Bay. No one was there.

Once the emergencies were dealt with, Amelia approached Bailey at the Nurse's Desk. "Yes, Shepherd?" the chief inquired without looking up from the chart she was writing in. "Out in the Bay earlier, you said you thought you saw someone you once knew," Amelia began, "and..and I..." Amelia hesitated almost embarrassed.

"Shepherd!" Bailey snapped impatiently, glaring up at her attending.

Amelia swallowed. "I was wondering if it was Derek," she spit out, looking around to make sure no one could really hear what she was saying.

"Derek?"

"Yeah, you know, Derek my brother."

"I know who Derek is!" Bailey snapped again, turning back to her chart.

A few seconds passed. Amelia stood waiting for an answer. Bailey looked back up at her. "You're serious?" she realized. She shook her head, stating emphatically, "I don't see dead people Shepherd!"

"Alrighty then," Amelia said, trying to cover her feeling of foolishness with a smile. She was extremely grateful when Owen approached them and quickly led her husband to the other side of the desk.

"Are you still going to Atlanta with Nathan tomorrow?" she exhaustedly asked her husband.

Owen confirmed that he was and knew she didn't want him going because of this file mystery. "Any luck?" he asked, rubbing her arm sympathetically.

"No. I have tried every date/number combination that meant anything to Derek - from his birthday, Mer's birthday, his kids' birthday, birthdays of my Mom and sisters, date my dad died, his old locker combo in high school - and nothing. Nada. Zilch. I am no closer to finding out about Patient C."

Bailey's eyes shot up at hearing Amelia's words. Amelia placed her tired head in her hands in frustration as Owen took her gently in his arms, reassuring her she would figure it out. "Maybe Derek will somehow provide a clue," he whispered into her hair. "In the meantime, let's go get coffee." Amelia's pager went off. Bailey finished her charting. She handed the nurse the last chart and walked away as Amelia glanced at her pager. "Do you need to take that?" Owen asked. Amelia didn't recognize the number. "No, let's go get coffee."

The daylight - as light as it ever really gets in Seattle - is quickly fading as Bailey sits at her desk. She hears Amelia's voice in her head - "I am no closer to finding out about Patient C" - as her mind flashes to her and Amelia at the Bay earlier that morning - "I thought I saw someone I knew." Bailey taps her fingers on the desk. "Could it have been?" she mulls. She takes out her phone, pushes a button, and hits dial. "Damn, voice mail!" she mutters, closing the phone. She taps her fingers again, then quickly gets up and leaves the office.

"Grey?" Bailey calls as she hurriedly approaches Meredith in the hallway. "Finished for the day?"

"I am." Meredith smiles, then looks over at Bailey almost panicked. "Unless you need me for something?"

"No...oh, no!" Bailey assures her, waving her arm for emphasis. "I just wanted to ask you something, you still have Derek's phone, right?"

"I do."

"Do you have it with you?"

"I do."

"I was wondering if you'd mind if I borrowed it. I ... wanted to look up a person I think he might have in his Contacts."

Meredith pulls the phone from her pocket. "What's the name?" she asks as she opens the phone.

"Actually I'm not sure," Bailey replies. Meredith eyes her superior inquisitively. "That's why I wanted to borrow it... I might know it if I see it."

"Oh, okay. Here you go." Meredith hands Bailey the phone.

"I will make sure to get this back to you," Bailey assures her.

Meredith smiles - she doesn't doubt it. Bailey nods awkwardly and walks away. Meredith stares after her, looking somewhat confused, before continuing to the locker room to grab her purse and jacket.

"Hey, just popping in to say goodnight," Meredith says, entering the staff lounge, surprised to find only Amelia there.

"At least one of us is getting to go home!" Amelia spats, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

Meredith rolls her eyes. Amelia's tone definitely had a 'woe-to-me' edge to it, the kind she uses when she's trying to elicit sympathy. She opens her mouth to say something, but changes her mind. Truthfully, she did not want to get sucked into her sister-in-law's all too frequent 'Poor Me' pity parties, not tonight anyway. "Well, goodnight," she says, turning to leave.

"This may seem like an out of left field question," Amelia begins as Meredith freezes mid-turn. She curses under her breath before turning back towards Amelia. "Do you know of a patient Derek possibly treated four years ago, I think, under the radar?"

"No!" Meredith says quickly, "So good -"

"It would have been around the time he started splitting his time between here and D.C.," Amelia persists. She's clearly oblivious to Mer's attempts to make a quick getaway, or maybe she's just choosing to be.

"No, and I have to go. Sorry."

Before Amelia can say anything else, Mer has turned on her heel and strode out of the lounge. She sits down on the sofa, nursing her cup of coffee, dejected. She feels like she's letting Derek down because she can't figure out who the patient is. The door opens again, slightly, and there stands Meredith. "Unless you count 'monitoring' as treating."

Amelia immediately perks up. "Derek was monitoring a patient? I didn't know that."

Meredith shrugs, coming completely into the lounge now. "Yeah, he signed off on some procedure and she had a pre-existing condition that needed monitoring." Her voice is tight, her face taut.

"I know you and Derek were having problems back then and I'm sorry to dredge that up," Amelia says sympathetically. She takes a sip of her coffee. "It's just I can't shake the feeling that Derek is trying to tell me something about this patient."

Meredith sighs. "It's okay... I mean it was a rough time for us. Derek was upset that I had changed my mind about going to D.C. and I was upset that he wanted to go - and this patient staying with him didn't help matters," she admits. "You have to remember the bad with the good, right?"

"This patient stayed with Derek in D.C.?" Amelia gulps. "Why didn't I know this?"

"Yeah, she needed to be monitored medically, so they stayed with him."

"They?"

"The patient and her daughter... I think Derek said she was eleven," Mer explains.

"Why did she need monitoring?" Amelia presses, taking another sip of coffee.

Meredith shakes her head. "Don't know...never asked and Derek never offered. The only time we talked about her, or really argued about her, is when he left to go back to D.C. early because of, I guess, medical issues with her."

*FLASHBACK*

 _Derek and Meredith are sitting on the window seat in the living room, watching their guests mingle. Mer had planned the dinner party as a means of formally welcoming Maggie into the family. "As much as I hate that you and Amelia are fighting, I'm glad for Bailey calling you, if for no other reason it got you to come home early and you're able to be here for this," she says, contently placing her head on her husband's shoulder. "Amelia's fighting with me," he protests, grimacing towards his sister._

 _"Whatever... I'm just glad you're here," Meredith smiles. She looks towards her newfound sister, "What do you think of Maggie?"_

 _"She seems very nice," Derek offers._

 _"But she's not Lexie," Meredith notes, picking up on what he's not saying._

 _"No, she's not Lexie," he agrees, squeezing his wife's hand. "But I'm glad you have somebody. Having a sibling is important, particularly one who's the same sex."_

 _Meredith stares at her husband. "You miss Mark?"_

 _"I do," Derek sighs, as his phone rings. Meredith grimaces as he looks at the Caller ID. "I don't recognize the number," he says as he answers._

 _"Hello? ... Speaking ... That's correct ..." Derek withdraws his hand from his wife's. "I realize there is a time difference, but why am I just being notified about this now? ... I'm not at a place where I can talk freely about this patient," he gets up from the window seat and walks towards the foyer, "so why don't you just fill me in."_

 _Meredith watches Derek from her perch on the window seat. An excited and overwhelmed Maggie approaches. Everyone's sitting for dinner. Derek comes back into the room. "I need to talk to you," he tells Meredith, nodding apologetically to Maggie. He leads his wife into the kitchen, where he explains his patient is in the hospital._

 _"And you feel you have to go back to D.C.," Mer realizes disappointed._

 _"She's my patient."_

 _"You're only monitoring this patient for a pre-existing condition, which means you're not her primary doctor," Meredith protests, "so why do you have to go now? By the time you get there, she'll likely be asleep. There's nothing you can do for her medically."_

 _"I can be there."_

 _"As a doctor or as something else?"_

 _"You're right...there's nothing I can do for her medically-speaking."_

 _"But you feel you need to go and be there."_

 _"It's just this patient - " Derek pauses. "It's just she and her daughter ... They don't have anybody else."_

 _Meredith just nods, her face awash in hurt._

*END OF FLASHBACK*

A silence falls between her and a guilty-looking Amelia. "It was a difficult time," Mer says after a moment as she finally joins Amelia on the couch. "The other time he left was a few months later. In fact it was after he had decided to scale back his work in D.C. He got a call in the middle of the night."

*FLASHBACK*

 _Meredith and Derek are asleep in bed. A phone rings...Derek reaches absently for his phone on the night table. "Where's my phone?" he queries sitting up. He rubs his eyes._

 _"Over here," Meredith replies, still half-asleep._

 _"Why is my phone on your night table?" Derek reaches over his sleeping wife for the phone._

 _"Because you left it there when you set it down there." She picks up the phone and looks at the Caller ID. "Who's Squirt?" she asks, raising her head a bit._

 _Derek grabs the phone from her hand, quickly answering it. "Hey...you and your Mom alright?" he asks anxiously, now wide awake and sitting up. Meredith rolls over to look at him. "What? ... It's only seven months!" He gets out of the bed, motioning to Meredith that he was going out into the hallway._

 _Meredith is sitting on the bed wide awake when Derek comes back in several minutes later. "Let me guess ... you're going back to D.C."_

 _"She's not in DC, but I do have to go," Derek says quickly dressing, "and we can argue about this when I get home." He leans over and gives her a peck on the cheek. "I'll call you," he finishes as he rushes out._

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Another silence lapses between the sister-in-laws. Amelia bites down on her lower lip before beginning. "He said, 'It's only seven months' ... Could she have been pregnant? I mean that would make sense. If she had a pre-existing condition, she'd have to be monitored during the pregnancy and ... " Amelia pauses, as her eyes widen with a sudden realization, "... and the chart in the file - 'O' to '9', there are nine months in a pregnancy."

Meredith appears to think about this. "You're right," she says finally, "that would make sense. The seven months thing didn't register until you just said it."

 _Derek, sitting at the table, shakes his head. "I can't believe it took this conversation for her to realize what '0 to 9' meant. I mean really that should have been a no-brainer!"_

"I don't know," Meredith continues, getting up and pulling her handbag up over her shoulder. "Like I said we were arguing about everything back then: work, home, the kids, this patient, Izzie, the weather ... everything."

Amelia looks up at her curiously. "Izzie? Where do I know that name from?"

"What?" Meredith queries startled.

"You just rattled off a list of things you and Derek were fighting about back then. You said 'Izzie'," Amelia says standing now. "I know that name, but how?"

Meredith pauses, appearing shocked. After a second she explains, "Izzie was a doctor here, she and Alex were married, she left." Her voice is curt. "I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost five years."

"And yet you and Derek had an argument about her four years ago... " Amelia muses.

"I have to go, Amelia. The kids are waiting." Meredith says abruptly and briskly walks out of the lounge, passing Dr. Webber on the way. He starts to say hi, but she walks right past him without even acknowledging him.

Owen sets his bag down by the door. He, Nathan, and Alex are going to Atlanta in the morning to the Shep Mobility Network Center, which specializes in working with children with severe limb deformities. Arizona and Nathan think a patient of theirs could benefit from a new occupational therapy system they have, Delivering Acute Orthopedic Mobility. He's going in place of Arizona, who got called to New York City for an emergency with Sophia. The child fell off her bike and broke her left arm, and Arizona wanted to go be there with her when she had the arm reset and placed in a cast. Alex was going, at her request, on a fact-finding mission about the system and the center itself. He and Nathan both had their reservations about Alex going, but Owen understood that Arizona was simply trying to keep Alex involved, even though he was still on suspension after the whole Jo/DeLuca debacle.

Owen sits at his desk, running a tired hand through his hair. He looks at his watch. He picks up the phone. "Hey, I thought you'd be home by now," he says.

"Yeah, sorry, got to talking to Mer," Amelia apologies. She's now back in her office. "It seems Patient C is someone Derek monitored four years ago. She stayed with him at his place in D.C."

"Really? So Meredith knows who this patient is."

"No, they never really discussed her. It seems her staying with him was a sore point."

Owen nods, slightly bemused. "Can't imagine why."

"Yeah, really," Amelia agrees. _Derek, flipping through a medical journal on the couch, glances up briefly towards his sister. He can only imagine what she and Owen are saying._ "Anyway, I'm going to call Addison and see if she knows what DAOM stands for. I think this patient was pregnant and DAOM stands for some condition that maybe she developed at the fourth or fifth month."

"OK, just don't overdo it," Owen cautions. "I'll wait up."

 _"You're going to call Addison." Derek places the journal on the couch next to him. He sighs, his foot tapping against the floor. "It makes sense that you would, it's just ..." He lets out a deep breath, " ... this could really open a can of worms."_

Owen is hanging up when Amelia calls out to him. "Hey, you still there?"

"Yeah."

"Did you know Izzie Stevens?"

Owen leans back in his chair, eyebrows raised, "I did... why?"

"What's the deal with her and Meredith?"

"I don't know that there is one," he says confused. "I mean, I know she wasn't happy when Izzie left. As far as I know, nobody has seen or heard from her since she left Seattle."

"Hmm," Amelia muses. "OK, I'm going to get back to my Patient C mystery. Love you."

Amelia looks at her watch. It was now approaching 9 p.m., and she hadn't made any further dent into the Patient C mystery. She looks thoughtfully as her fingers drum on Patient C's file. "The 'C' has to mean something, right?" She looks over at Derek's picture. "I mean why the letter 'C', that's very random. Why not 'X' or 'Y' or 'Z'? The 'C' is a clue, right? Maybe the initial of her first or last name? ... Damn, I wish you could answer me!"

 _"I wish I could answer you too. It would certainly speed this process up." Derek is stretched out on the sofa now, still reading the journal. "It's a really good thing I don't have a curfew."_

Amelia sighs. She hits speaker and #3 on her phone's Speed Dial pad. On the fourth ring, a sleepy voice picks up. "You do know it's almost midnight, right?"

"It's only 9 p.m.!" Amelia protests.

Addison climbs out of bed, pushing her long red hair to the side. "Not on the East Coast. I'm in Atlanta." She yawns as she curls up on the loveseat in her hotel room. "What's going on?"

"What does DAOM mean?" Amelia asks anxiously.

"I have no idea."

"Is it a condition pregnant women get?"

"Um, no. At least I've never heard of it. Why?"

"I am trying to find out about a patient - Patient C to be exact - of Derek's and these letters are written at the bottom of Column Four on a chart of columns headlined 'O to 9'. I think she was pregnant."

"She was."

Amelia's eyes widen in surprise. She lifts the receiver off the phone. "What did you just say?" she asks stunned.

"You're talking about Derek's patient from four years ago, right?" Addison says.

"How do you know about this patient when no one here seems to know anything about her?" Amelia demands.

"Derek consulted me."

"Why would Derek consult you?"

"Why else would Derek consult me?" Addison snaps back, not sure if she should be offended or not.

"Right ... " Amelia says apologetically. "Sorry, Addie, it's just I've been trying to find out who this patient is for the past few days and now all of a sudden to find out you worked on this case could be the breakthrough I need."

"I didn't work on the case," Addison corrects.

"You just said you consulted on the case."

"Derek called me about the patient, but I didn't work on the case. Jake and I were in Germany at the time. He emailed me her records and asked me for my opinion."

"About what?"

"Whether or not she'd be able to carry to term. I think she was four months along. She was pregnant with triplets. She started bleeding - ALOT - and lost one of the babies. After they got her stabilized the doctor said she should be able to carry the two remaining babies to term, but Derek wasn't sure and wanted a second opinion."

"Why was Derek even involved in the case?"

"My understanding was she had a pre-existing condition that needed to be monitored."

"What was the condition - that might be able to help me find out who she is?"

"It didn't come up. It was wasn't relevant to what he was asking me about."

Amelia sighs in frustration. "What exactly did he say?"

 _Derek's ears perk up._

"Amelia it was four years ago!"

"Addie, please think," Amelia pleads. "This is really important and maybe he said something that will help me find out who she is."

Addison shakes her head. "Okay, let me think."

*FLASHBACK*

 _Addison is sitting at a table on the balcony of her and Jake's hotel room, enjoying her daily cocktail, when her phone rings. She looks at the Caller ID. "Washington, D.C." she mutters opening her phone. "Hello?"_

 _"Addison!" a booming voice comes through loud and clear._

 _"Derek?" Addison queries surprised. "I didn't recognize the number - this isn't your cell phone."_

 _"No, I'm calling from a hospital in D.C. Can I email you a patient's records? I want your opinion as to whether or not she'll be able to carry to term."_

 _"Oh, well, actually I'm in Germany."_

 _"You can't get email in Germany?"_

 _"Of course I can." Addison sighs deeply and then downs the rest of her drink in one gulp. They've been on the phone for not even a whole minute and she can already feel Derek getting under her skin. "What I meant was I'm not available to consult on a case."_

 _"I'm not asking you to consult, I'm asking you to look at a patient's records and give me your opinion," Derek replies impatient. "So can I send you the email?"_

 _"Yeah, sure." Addison agrees, almost reluctantly, "but why are you calling me for a second opinion? Seattle has a great Ob-Gyn in Arizona Robbins."_

 _"They do," Derek agrees._

 _"So why are you calling me?" Addison repeats._

 _"Addison comes before Arizona in my Contacts."_

 _Addison raises her eyebrows. "Seriously?"_

 _"No, not seriously," he assures her. "I'm keeping the Seattle people out of this that's all and you are the best at what you do and I trust your professional opinion."_

 _Addison appears to mull this over. "At least you still trust me on some level."_

 _"Really? We're going to go there?" Derek asks surprised._

 _"No."_

 _"Ok, sent the email ... just don't take offense to the 'TO' line."_

 _"What does that mean?"_

 _"It means don't take offense to the 'TO' line."_

 _Addison's eyes narrow. "You still have me in your contacts as the 'Wicked Witch', don't you?"_

 _Derek laughs. "It's nothing personal - I just never got around to changing it."_

 _"You are unbelievable," Addison fumes. "Would it have been better if I had cheated on you with some Joe Schmoe off the street and not someone I cared about?"_

 _"Yeah, you cared so much about him that you didn't go to his funeral."_

 _"Wow ... " Addison winces, feeling as if someone has just let the_ _wind out of her sails._

 _"You brought this up!"_

 _"You're right I did," she nods her head slowly, "and you're right I didn't go to his funeral."_

 _"I know I'm right - I was there, you weren't."_

 _Addison clears her throat. "Do you want to know why I didn't go to his funeral?"_

 _"Not particularly -"_

 _"I didn't go for the same reason I won't go to your funeral," she says fighting back tears. "It was Mark and you and me and what the three of us represented once upon a time: what could have been and what wasn't. It still gets to me and going to the funeral ... seeing him buried would have just made it so final that we're not those people anymore ... and that's why I won't go to your funeral." She pauses as she wipes away tears. "And along that same vein feel free not to attend my funeral."_

 _"Well, that's big of you!" Derek shakes his head. "But you know what I probably would go to your funeral."_

 _"Why? To make sure the 'Wicked Witch' has been burned at the stake?"_

 _Derek laughs. "That's a great reason to give Meredith for why I would want to attend your funeral," he agrees. "But, no, I'd go because you were once someone who meant a lot to me."_

 _A moment of silence falls between them as they both appear to be remembering the past. Derek finally breaks it. "Did you get the email?"_

 _Addison jolts out of the reverie she was in and looks at her phone. "Yes, I'll call you back in a few."_

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"So that's why you weren't at Derek's funeral?" Amelia says wiping away a tear of her own. "I really wanted you there."

"I know you did Mel, but I just couldn't. It was Derek," Addison says wistfully.

"Amelia?" Addison presses, after a few moments of silence.

"I'm okay," Amelia assures her, blinking away a few remaining tears. "So what about this patient?"

"What about her? I looked over the information Derek sent me and called him back to say that I didn't see why she couldn't carry to term."

"His charting ends at five months. Do you know why?" Amelia continues. "I mean if she carried to term or ... " she recalls her conversation with Meredith, "or even seven months, why would his charting stop at five months?" Amelia sighs. "Did you talk to Derek again after this?"

"About this case, no. And I have to go, Amelia, I have an early meeting in the morning and I need to get some sleep."

Amelia suddenly remembers that Addison said she was in Atlanta and asks what she's doing there. Addison explains she serves on the board of a new Pediatrics-related center there. She tells Amelia she'll call her when she gets back to Los Angeles and hangs up, then, looking at her watch, types out a text and hits send. She slides down on the loveseat and closes her eyes.

 _Derek raises his eyebrows in surprise as Amelia hangs up the phone. "Huh, she obviously didn't tell her about the second phone call," he realizes_ _._

 _Juxaposition of scenes: Meredith sitting on her bed, looking at a picture of her, Christina, Alex, Izzie, and_ _George. She sighs. Bailey in her office, looking out the window, holding Derek's phone in her hand. Owen leaves the desk lamp on and goes into the bedroom. Amelia stares at the chart in the file._

Addison opens her eyes. "Great, now I can't sleep because I'm thinking about Derek." She sighs, rolling over onto her back. She runs her hand through her hair. "I only told her about the first phone call ... Should I have told her about the second?"

"Hey, I tried waiting up for you," Owen says, looking out onto the runway. He, Nathan, and Alex are at the airport, but their flight has been delayed due to an early morning Seattle soaker. Airport officials seem to think it's going to be a fast-moving storm. Nathan and Alex have gone to get something to eat.

"I know," Amelia says apologetically, as she stretches her legs out and props them onto her desk. "I just ended up crashing on my not-too-comfortable office couch."

"Did you make any inroads?"

"No." She continues tiredly, stifling a yawn. "I talked to Addison. It seems Derek consulted her, but he didn't tell her who the patient was or why he was involved with the case."

"Hmm...sorry," Owen says distractedly.

Amelia opens her eyes. "You okay?" she asks her husband.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. It's just ..."

"It's just what?"

Owen pauses before answering. He looks around to make sure he's alone, well, as alone as one can be in an airport. "Why did you ask about Izzie Stevens?"

"No reason," she says taken aback. "Mer mentioned that she and Derek had argued about her four years ago and then got all weird about it. I thought maybe they had some kind of falling out."

"Well, like I said last night, not that I know of, but it just got me thinking."

"About?"

"About the fact no one has seen or heard from her since she left."

"So?"

"So, she was really sick five-and-a-half years ago. Stage 4 Melanoma that had spread to the brain."

Amelia's eyes widen. "And she lived?"

"Yeah, I mean it was touch and go there for awhile, but your brother and Christina are just that good."

Amelia rolls her eyes. She, of course, knows how good Derek was - he was a freakin' Miracle Worker, almost God-like. She didn't know Owen's ex-wife Christina personally, but she did know she was a topnotch doctor. She could respect that - she just hated when Owen spoke of his ex with such respect and admiration.

"Where are you going with this honey?" she asks trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"I'm not sure," Owen admits honestly. "I just think it's weird that Izzie never got in touch with anyone after leaving Seattle."

"Do you think she got sick again? Maybe that's what Der and Mer were arguing about in regards to her four years ago?" Amelia suggests.

"No," Owen shakes his head resolutely, "If Derek knew Izzie's cancer had recurred, he would have told us, or at the very least Bailey and Webber."

"I don't know what to tell you," Amelia demurs. She could hear in her husband's voice that he was clearly bothered by this, but she didn't want him dwelling on it, in part because of the Christina reference, so she changes the subject. "With your flight delayed, you're not going to make your meeting."

"Got a text late last night - meeting's been pushed back to 4 p.m."

"Okay." Her pager starts beeping wildly. "Sorry, gotta go ... Call me later!"

She looks down at her pager, which is still flashing. She hits it and it stops. "I got a page from this number yesterday too," she mulls, "but I don't know what it is." She picks up her cell and dials the number flashing on her screen.

The scene switches to Bailey in her office. She's scrolling through Derek's contacts. "You wouldn't have used her name, Shepherd, so what did you put it under?"

Amelia taps her fingers impatiently on the desk as the phone rings. On the third ring, someone picks up. "Greenleaf Cemetery."

"I'm sorry, where is this?" she asks stunned.

"Greenleaf Cemetery."

"Sorry, wrong number," she offers and quickly disconnects. She looks at the number again on her pager, punching the numbers on her cell phone's dial pad. It answers on the first ring.

"Greenleaf Cemetery."

"Okay, so not a wrong number," Amelia says more to herself. She clears her throat. "My name is Dr. Amelia Shepherd, I received two pages from this number."

"Not from this number," the man replies as he sorts through paper work on his desk.

"It was from this number," she protests annoyed.

"Well, I didn't page you and nobody else has access to this phone."

Amelia opens her mouth to respond, but changes her mind. "Okay, well, my mistake." She starts to hang up when the man asks her a question that causes her to pause. "What did you just ask me?"

"You said your name is Shepherd ... Are you related to the Dr. Shepherd who's buried here?"

Amelia looks over at Derek's picture. "He's my brother. How did you know he's buried there?"

"I'm the manager, it's my job to know who's buried here."

Amelia isn't amused with the man's flip response. "There are a lot of people buried there, right? Do you know the names of everyone who's buried there off the top of your head?"

"No," the man concedes, wondering why he got into this conversation in the first place.

"Then how do you know my brother off the top of your head?"

"It wasn't that long ago...not even two years, right? And it was big news, I mean he was a hot-shot neurosurgeon wasn't he?"

"He was."

"Plus someone just came to the office the other day to ask for directions to his grave."

"Someone asked for directions to Derek's grave?" Amelia practically jumps up from her chair. "Who?"

"Don't know her name."

"Well, did she say how she knew my brother?"

"Said she was a former patient of his, that she was passing through, and wanted to pay her respects."

"About what time was this?"

"Not sure, early afternoon."

Amelia curses under her breath, realizing that this woman must have been at the cemetery about the same time she received the page the other day - the one she didn't respond to because she didn't recognize the number and instead went to get coffee with Owen.

"Yeah, she was here a good while," the man continues. "I think about three hours."

"Three hours?" Amelia gasps. "That's a long time to spend at a grave or even a cemetery for that matter."

"Some people find cemeteries relaxing," the man replies, clearly offended.

Amelia rolls her eyes. She sits on the edge of her desk. "I'm just saying that's a long time to spend at her former doctor's grave."

"His wasn't the only grave she visited."

"How do you know that?"

"Because she asked for directions to other people's graves too."

"Really, who?" Amelia's interest piques up. She picks up Patient C's file.

"That I don't remember off the top of my head, she came back in after she initially left to ask for their directions." The man moves the mouse to the computer and clicks on a file 'Directions'. "Oh, yeah, here it is... Dr. Alexandra Grey and Dr. Mark Sloan."

"Lexie and Mark?" Amelia's mouth drops open in surprise. She looks back down at the file. "Why would someone who's never been to the cemetery before suddenly show up to visit their graves?"

"I didn't say she'd never been to the cemetery before," the man interrupts.

"But she needed directions to their graves."

The man shrugs. "That just means she hasn't been to your brother's and the others' graves before, it doesn't mean she hasn't been to the cemetery before."

"So, you've seen her there before?"

"Not in a really long time."

"How long is 'not in a really long time'?"

"I don't know, maybe six-seven years. She used to come all the time to visit her fiancé's grave," he explains, then anticipating Amelia's next question, "and, no, I don't recall the name of her fiancé."

"That's a long time," Amelia agrees, "and yet you seem to remember her very clearly. Why?"

"I have a photographic memory," the man smirks. Amelia rolls her eyes. The man senses her lack of enthusiasm for his humor. "Okay, the reason I remember her is because one time my scarf dropped on the ground and got ruined when it was driven over by a funeral procession and she knitted me a new one. She also occasionally brought me in homemade bread."

"And you never got her name?" Amelia asks incredulous. "I mean she brought you homemade bread and knitted you a scarf. You never got a name, not even a first name!"

"Actually, I did get a first name, but I don't remember it. It was a weird name, almost like a nickname. Began wit think."

Amelia takes a deep breath. "This is really important. Please, please try and remember."

The scene returns to Bailey, who is pacing back and forth in her office. "What would you have put the name under, Shepherd?"

*FLASHBACK*

 _Derek is sitting in a car talking on his cell phone. "Cricket? I mean what kind of name is Cricket anyway?"_

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Bailey's eyes widen as she grabs Derek's phone off her desk.

*FLASHBACK*

 _"Well, look who's up and moving around?" he tells somebody on the phone. "Little Miss Sunshine or should I say Little Miss Cricket?"_

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"C-R- " Bailey murmurs. A name pops up.

Amelia taps her foot impatiently. "Chris something. Actually, no, Cre...crick...Crick...et. Yeah that was it, Cricket!" the man offers.

"Cricket?" Amelia repeats disbelieving. "What kind of name is Cricket?"

Scene flashes to Bailey. "Cricket, of course ... " she sighs relieved.

Amelia plops back down in her chair. "I can't believe this woman was there at the cemetery and I missed her," she bemoans, putting her head down on her desk.

"If you hurry, you might be able to catch her."

"What?" Amelia gasps, lifting her head slightly. "She's there now!"

"Yeah, I saw her drive by right before you called."

 _Scene flashes to a woman standing in front of a grave. The rain is still coming down, but it doesn't seem to bother her. She kneels down and runs her hand over the headstone, and places something in front of it. She stands and takes a deep breath. As she turns to leave, the scene pans across the vast cemetery. Derek can be seen leaning against a tree, watching her._

Amelia jumps up - "You didn't think to mention this sooner?" she hisses - and grabs her coat and briefcase.

"You didn't ask."

"Ugh!" Amelia slams down her phone. She puts on her coat, looking over to Derek's picture as she does. "Okay, Derek, let's go find Cricket."


	2. Looking for Cricket

Amelia hated cemeteries. She had ever since she was a little girl who stood stoically, holding her brother's hand, watching as men in dark suits and ties lowered their father into the ground in a Brooklyn cemetery. Now that very brother who had given her a quick smile of reassurance even as tears brimmed out of his baby blues was at "rest" at this cemetery, nearly 3,000 miles on the other side of the country. It wasn't fair. And truth be told, she hadn't been to the cemetery since Derek's funeral almost two years ago and yet here she was trudging her way to his graveside, not to visit her brother but to find some mystery patient by the name of Cricket.

Looking out into the vast land, she had to admit the cemetery exuded a peaceful feeling. The rain had stopped as she was driving to Greenleaf, but moisture still hung in the air, giving it a fresh, clean smell. The roadways connected the 81-acre property allowing for people to walk throughout, benches dotting the landscape for rest or to just sit and gather your thoughts. She could understand, albeit grudgingly, why some people found cemeteries to be "relaxing."

Finally, Amelia approached Derek's grave. She inhaled sharply as tears leaked out of her eyes. She really hated cemeteries. She hated visiting loved ones at cemeteries, even though three of the most important men in her life were now at rest at one: her father, her brother, and her son. Slowly, she took a deep breath, letting her anxiety flow out of her as she exhaled. She looked around, but didn't see anybody. Though somebody had clearly been there - there were fresh footprints in the muddied ground, a rose lay atop the headstone, and a plastic baggie was pushed into the earth in front of the headstone.

Amelia bent down and picked up the plastic baggie. It contained an 8x10 picture of a young girl standing in front of a go-cart titled "The McDreamy", holding a trophy. The young girl looked to be in her mid-teens, her long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, a huge smile lit up her face. There was writing on the picture: "Miss you Doc Derek! Love Ha..." The 'Ha' was crossed out and below it written "Squirt."

Amelia stood up, looking around again, her eyes quickly darting to each tree or bench she could see. She opened her mouth to call out, but then stopped herself. After all, you didn't scream in a cemetery, unless of course it was one of the "Scream" movies. And it wouldn't do her any good, anyway, as a voice behind her let her know. "You're too late ... she's gone!" Amelia turned startled, stumbling backwards, losing her footing in the process and falling onto the ground. Yet her eyes never left the person who was looking at her rather sharply. "Derek?" she gasped.

Bailey is pacing back and forth in her office. She stretches her hands behind her neck, giving her head a slight turn to work out the knots. Derek's contact information for Cricket was no different than what she already had, but whenever she dials the number she just keeps getting her voice mail. She again hears Amelia's voice in her head: "I'm no closer to finding out about Patient C."

"Why are you trying to find out about her? How do you even know that a 'Patient C' existed?"

She picks up Derek's phone off her desk and scrolls through his Contacts again, this time under 'H.' "It's not here ... you would have had it, I know you would have. I know I don't have it because she never liked me." Bailey sighs, a flash of memory flicking across her face. "You never called her by her name ... you had a nickname for her. I know I heard you call her it a couple times."

*FLASHBACK*

 _Bailey approaches Derek, who's leaning sideways against a wall, a small smile on his face. She turns to see what he's looking at, taking a minute to smile at the scene herself._

 _"They look good together, they look ... like they belong together," she says._

 _"They do," Derek agrees, nodding._

 _"See," she says, swatting him on the arm, "I told you!"_

 _"How high schoolish is that!"_

 _"Well, I did tell you!" she repeats almost smugly._

 _Derek shakes his head. "Fine, Bailey, yes, you told me. You were right and I was wrong. Happy?"_

 _"Extremely."_

 _A gentleman approaches them briefcase in hand. "The paperwork has been filed," he says looking between the two_.

 _"So that's it? Everything's good?" Bailey asks anxiously._

 _"Yes, the judge is satisfied, Ms. Neill is satisfied," he assures them. "There shouldn't be any further_ _issues," the man pauses throwing a backward glance, "unless, of course ... "_

 _Bailey holds up her hand. "Let's not go there!" she instructs._

 _"Bailey, he's just saying ... "_

 _"I know what he's just saying, Shepherd, and I'm just saying we don't need to go there."_

 _"Alright, well I have to run. Thanks for what you did in there, Dr. Shepherd." He and Derek shake hands and then he and Bailey and then he walks off down the hallway._

 _"We should get going too," Bailey says after a moment._

 _"Yes, we should," Derek agrees._

 _They both look towards someone and give reassuring smiles, then turn to leave._

 _"Bye Doc Derek!" a small voice calls out._

 _Derek turns, smiles, and winks. "See you Squirt."_

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"S..." Bailey begins, "Really there are just too many Shepherds in here." She shakes her head exasperatedly, deciding to bypass Derek's extended family. "S-Q-U ... " The name "Squirt" flashes.

"Derek?" Amelia gasps. "I...I don't understand."

She closes her eyes and counts to three. She opens them, but Derek is still standing before her. "How - "

"Relax! I'm not real, not really."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you can see me, but nobody else can."

"How?"

"Why are you so surprised? You saw me outside the hospital just the other day."

Amelia flashes back to the Bay. "That's right I did," she concedes. Finally convinced that this isn't a dream and with her pants becoming mud-soaked, she goes to lift herself off the ground.

"Do you mind?" she asks extending her hand.

"I can't." Derek says curtly.

"Oh, okay."

Not without some difficulty does Amelia manage to hoist herself up. She places a hand on Derek's headstone to steady herself and allow her to shake excess dirt from her clothes and shoes. Once she has she takes a moment to really look at her brother. He hasn't changed. He's wearing the same blue button-down shirt he was the morning he left the house. It brings out even more the blue of his eyes. His hair still has the same curls she can remember tucking her little girl hands into whenever she would wrap her arms around his neck.

He hasn't changed, she smiles to herself, and when he speaks again she's even more certain of the fact that he hasn't changed.

"It has been extremely aggravating watching you try and find out who Patient C is," he says, his eyes boring into Amelia.

Amelia returns his gaze. "This has been aggravating FOR YOU!"

"You have focused on all the wrong things and why did it take you so long to figure out what 'O to 9' meant. I mean really, Amelia, that should have been a no-brainer and, yes, Miss Brain Surgeon," he continues before Amelia can cut in, "the pun is intended!"

Amelia just shakes her head, seemingly at a loss for words.

"You haven't even tried to figure out what the numbers in the columns mean." Derek continues. "And if

you thought about this objectively at all, which, by the way, you haven't, and which has always been par the course for you - "

Amelia's face is now white with anger, her brown eyes blazing. She opens her mouth to offer a defense, but Derek holds up his hand to stop her. He's not done yet.

"If the '0 to 9' or pregnancy thing was the issue, why would I be trying to bring this to your attention? It's not like you're a neo-fetal surgeon or an OBGYN. And because you wasted so much time focusing on the wrong thing, it just might be too late."

At this, Amelia's expression changes from anger to worry. "What do you mean 'too late'? Can't you just tell me who she is?"

"No," and in response to her confused look, "There are rules, Amelia. My job is to point you in the right direction. I mean if I could just tell you who she is, don't you think I would have already?"

"Well ..." Amelia pauses, at a loss as to how to proceed. Her eyes fall to the picture. "Can you tell me who the girl is?"

"No," and in response to her frustrated sigh explains, "Even if I could tell you who she is, it wouldn't matter because they don't have the same last name."

"Of course they don't ... that would make it too easy!"

"Again, you're focusing on the wrong thing!" Derek snaps.

At this Amelia loses her patience. "It's not like I haven't been trying. I mean you apparently never told anyone about this patient. You never told Mer who she was. You consulted Addison of all people and ... AND you require a passcode access to her medical file in the computer. I mean really, Derek, what am I supposed to do?"

Derek sighs frustrated.

"Derek," she repeats more calmly, though her voice betrays her own feelings of frustration, "what am I supposed to do?"

"There's nothing you can do, she's gone." He gestures to the grounds around them. "Clearly I have wasted your time and my time."

"That's not fair!" she exclaims as he begins to stalk off.

"Well, you know what, Amelia, life isn't fair. You and I both know that firsthand." He sees her wince and softens his tone. "Look, just forget it. I have to go."

"Go, go where? Do you have a hot date or something?"

Derek glares at her. "No, but since you couldn't figure it out, I have to come up with a Plan B."

Amelia looks away feeling guilty. After a moment, she turns back to him, but he's gone. "Derek!" she calls out, frantically spinning around, looking for him.

"Hey!" a soft voice calls out.

Amelia circles back around. "Oh, hey!" She laughs nervously. "You caught me!"

The name "Squirt" is still flashing on the screen. Bailey pauses her finger over the "call" button before closing the phone. "I can't call her. She'd freak wanting to know why I was calling out of the blue like this about her mom," she realizes.

"Hey, there's my best girl," Ben smiles as he opens the door.

Bailey offers a half smile back. Ben comes into the office, closing the door behind him. He sets down a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin. Her somber mood doesn't go unnoticed by her husband, who pulls up a chair closer to the desk and reaches over, gently grabbing hold of her hand. "Do you want to tell me what's got you so worried that you're tossing and turning in your sleep?" he asks.

Bailey looks up at him. His big eyes are bright and shining, a stark contrast to the weather outside, a stark contrast to how she's feeling. The rain had stopped sometime ago, but it's still gray outside and for some reason she doesn't think that's a good thing, even if it is typical for Seattle. She smiles now looking into his eyes. They always had a way of reassuring her that everything would be alright even when it wasn't.

"I'm worried about a patient," she says finally. "I can't get a hold of her."

"So this patient isn't a patient here at the hospital?" Ben queries.

"No, she's actually a former patient of Shepherd's."

"So why isn't Amelia trying to get a hold of her?"

Bailey hedges, wondering for a brief moment if Amelia had mentioned this Patient C to Ben, but realizes that her husband has simply made an understandable assumption under the circumstances. "Oh, no, not that Shepherd."

Ben looks confused, but then notices the phone laying on her desk. "Oh, she was a patient of Derek's - is that why you have his phone?"

"Yeah, I thought maybe he had a different contact number for her," she says as her phone rings.

Bailey looks down at the Caller ID curiously. "Sorry, I think I need to take this," she says as she swivels around in her chair away from her husband.

"Chief Bailey here."

"Dr. Bailey, it's Michael."

"Yes ... How is everything?"

"Good. Well, as good as it can be with a teenager and three kids under the age of four, two of whom have medical needs." The man's tone is light and heavy at the same time. Light as he mentions his kids, bringing a smile to his face, but heavy with the admittance that it's not easy.

Bailey seems to get what he's both saying and not saying. "Right," she nods.

"I know you're probably busy, so I will get to the point," he says after a moment of hesitation. "I was just wondering if you've talked to her recently."

"I haven't," she says standing now and looking out the window. There's a tremble to her voice that Ben can't help detecting. "Has something happened?"

"Nothing specific." The man takes a deep breath. "It's probably nothing. I just thought she might have gotten in touch with you that's all."

"Because?" Bailey presses.

The man seems to rethink this call. "Like I said, it's probably nothing. Sorry to have bothered you Bailey."

Bailey closes her phone, turning back to Ben. She avoids eye contact even as he studies her face looking for answers to questions he doesn't know. "Was that about Derek's patient? Everything okay?"

Bailey sighs heavily. "I don't know."

Meredith steps around Amelia to Derek's grave, gazing sadly at his headstone. She looks back to Amelia. "What do you mean I caught you?"

Amelia laughs nervously, throwing quick glances around the immediate area. She whispers a quick thank you that she doesn't see anyone.

"Amelia?" Meredith is waving her hand in her face now to get her attention. "Are you looking for somebody?"

"Derek ... I ... was looking for Derek."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah," Amelia begins, avoiding her sister-in-law's questioning stare. "Don't you ever feel like that when you're talking to Derek that he's right here with you? That you could almost see him?"

Meredith nods briefly. "Yeah, I do."

Amelia visibly relaxes at Mer's admission, though it's clear her explanation hasn't helped to ease Meredith's confusion. Especially given her mud-soaked appearance. "I fell," she offers feasibly, noticing as Mer gives her the one's over.

"So what are you doing here?" she says, eager to change the subject. "I thought you came every other week to visit ... Derek. Weren't you just here last week?"

"I was," Meredith says slowly, turning back to Derek's headstone, "but I need to ask him something."

"Oh, okay. Well, I will give you some privacy."

Amelia grabs her bag that is also mud-soaked from the ground and attempts to shake off some more dried-out mud from her shoes before turning to go. As she picks up her bag, it brushes against the plastic baggie leaning against the stone, knocking it over.

"What's this?" Meredith asks, bending down to pick it up.

"Oh, that was there when I got here."

Meredith studies the picture. "Pretty girl. 'Squirt' ... " She flashes back to looking at the Caller ID on Derek's phone. "I think that's what Derek called his patient's daughter."

Meredith's eyes widen in surprise as she, too, throws quick glances around the cemetery. "Was this patient here? Is that why you're here? Because it's not like you ever visit Derek's grave."

Amelia swallows thickly at the last part of that. It's true, she realizes guiltily, she never visits Derek's grave and wouldn't have this morning if she wasn't looking for this mystery patient. "I got a lead that she had been here to pay her respects," she explains hesitantly, "but she was already gone when I got here. Only that and the rose were here."

"I see," Meredith says, as she absent-mindedly turns the baggie over in her hand. "There's another picture in here."

Amelia steps closer to see. On the other side of the 8x10, there's a 5x7 of four kids: a teenager and three toddlers. The teenager is the same girl from the larger photo and she's holding a young boy on her lap. Two girls, who appear to be older than the boy, are seated next to her. Letters appear under each of their names: "S" for the curly blond boy; "H" for the blonde teenage girl; and "A" and "G" for the two auburn-haired girls who are clearly twins. Meredith opens the baggie and pulls out the picture. Written on the back is a message: "Derek, meet the 'SHAG' siblings, as they have decided to call themselves. LOL. I'm so blessed and without you I wouldn't have any of them with me today. We miss you."

A tear falls from Meredith's face onto the picture. Amelia frowns slightly at this. "We should put the picture back," she says, taking it from Mer's hand and placing it back into the baggie. She places the baggie back against the headstone, setting the rose in front of it.

"I guess you were right," Meredith says, wiping away another tear from her face, "She must have been pregnant and Derek monitored her throughout her pregnancy."

"Yeah ... Uh, so Mer," Amelia hesitates, "did either you or Lexie know someone named 'Cricket'?"

"Cricket?"

"Yeah, I think that's what her name was," Amelia explains.

"No," Meredith shakes her head, "and I think I would remember knowing someone with such a name. Why do you think Lexie would have known her? She was already dead by the time Derek took this patient on."

"Oh, well, because apparently she asked for directions to her and Mark's graves as well as Derek's. I mean why would she do that if she didn't know them?" Amelia pauses before continuing. "I actually don't think Cricket is her real name. I think it's either a nickname or a made-up name."

Meredith eyes her sister-in-law curiously. "Why?"

Amelia shrugs. "Just a feeling ... And I have taken up enough of your time. You said you had something you wanted to ask Derek, so I will -"

It's Meredith's turn to shrug. "It doesn't really matter. It's not like he's going to be able to answer me."

"I think he might be able to."

"No, not about this. It's a very specific question."

At this, Amelia's curiosity is peaked. She sets her bag back down and approaches her sister-in-law, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "What do you want to know? Maybe between the two of us and Derek, we can figure it out."

Mer offers her a small smile. "Thanks, but you're not going to be able to help with this one. You never knew her."

Amelia nods, seeming to suddenly understand. "Is this about Izzie?" In response to Meredith's surprised reaction, Amelia notes that she mentioned Izzie the other night. "You said you and Derek had argued about her four years ago."

"Oh, right." Meredith sighs. "About four-and-a-half years ago Derek had wanted to tell me something about Izzie and I wouldn't let him. I came here today to ask him what it was ... what did he want to tell me about her?"

*FLASHBACK*

 _Meredith is in a bedroom, placing things in a cardboard box. She has a pink chiffon dress in her lap. She holds it up, a sad smile spreading across her face. A door slams and Derek's voice calls out. "Meredith, you home?"_

 _"Up here, center bedroom!" she calls back, her eyes never leaving the dress._

 _Derek appears in the open doorway. "Hey, what are you doing?" he asks, leaning against the doorframe._

 _"Packing up the things Izzie left behind." She looks up at him. "Found this in a ball in the back of the closet. Izzie wore this the night ..." She hesitates her voice getting caught in her throat. "The prom."_

 _"I remember the prom, Mer," he says rather wistfully._

 _"Derek!" She looks up at him, scowling at the twinkle in his eyes._

 _"I'm just saying ... " Derek tries unsuccessfully to hide his smile. "... I remember the night of the prom - and not just because it was the night Denny died." He comes into the room now, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Not everything that happened that night was bad."_

 _"You are impossible!"_

 _"And you love it!" He nods his head towards her in a smug 'you know I am right' manner._

 _Meredith just rolls her eyes at him as she places the dress in the box. "Anyway, I guess I will just donate the stuff or drop it in the first dumpster I see."_

 _"Why don't you just send it to her?"_

 _At this, Meredith's look hardens. "Kind of hard to do when I don't know where she is. Did you know she changed her cell phone number and email address?"_

 _"Yeah, I heard that."_

 _The light teasing between them now replaced with a tension that is overtaking the room, Derek takes a second to study his wife intently. He clears his throat. "Speaking of Izzie, there's something we need to discuss."_

 _"Is she sick again?" Meredith asks anxiously, her tone betraying the panic surging inside her._

 _"What? No, no," he quickly reassures his wife._

 _"Then there's nothing to discuss," Mer says curtly. "I mean if she's not sick again what would we need to discuss about her?"_

 _"Meredith, she is one of your best friends!" Derek reminds her._

 _"Yeah, a best friend who left! A best friend who changed her cell phone number and email address! A best friend who said this wasn't her home, it was just the place where she worked and she could do that anywhere!"_

 _The hurt and anger in Meredith's voice is deep and palpable. Slowly, Derek gets up and walks over to where his wife is kneeling. He takes her hand, pulling her gently to her feet. She avoids eye contact as she blinks away tears, though one escapes and trickles down her face. Derek wipes it away with his thumb._

 _"I don't approve of how Izzie left or the things she said when she left, but Mer you can't really believe that she meant them."_

 _Meredith shrugs. "What am I supposed to think? She left and hasn't tried to make contact with any of us. She obviously doesn't miss us."_

 _Derek sighs deeply, taking her into his arms. She wraps her arms around him tightly, again blinking away tears that threaten to spill onto her face. She breathes in his scent letting it relax her in his hold. They stand there that way for a few moments before she asks, "What is it?"_

 _"What?" Derek asks startled._

 _"What about Izzie?"_

 _Derek pulls back a little to look at his wife. He gently wraps a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Nothing ... it can wait," he assures her._

 _"You know what can't wait, though?" he continues after a second, a gleam in his eyes - a gleam Meredith recognizes all too well._

 _"You really are so bad sometimes," she scolds playfully._

 _Derek just smirks at her, as he takes her hand and leads her out of the bedroom. "We were kind of interrupted that night ... " he justifies._

*END OF FLASHBACK* - rather abruptly as Amelia's voice can be heard yelling cutting off the end.

"Oh, god, Mer! He's my brother - I don't want to hear this!" she screeches.

Meredith just rolls her eyes as Amelia places her hands over her ears. "Seriously, Amelia, it's not like you're five years old!"

"He's still my brother!" she protests. "And it doesn't matter that he's dead! I don't even like it when people call him 'McDreamy' in my presence!"

Meredith is still looking at her all exasperated when Amelia has calmed herself down, though her face is still a little flushed. "So, he never told you what it was he wanted to discuss about her?"

"No."

"What did you do with her stuff?"

Meredith shrugs. "I assume it was donated."

"You assume?" Amelia questions confused.

"Yeah ... Derek said he would take care of it."

*FLASHBACK*

 _Meredith is standing in the doorway of Izzie's old room, looking at the box. She has a coffee mug in her hands and is wearing Derek's shirt. Derek comes up behind her, placing his arm around her waist. Meredith lets her head fall back onto his bare chest._

 _"I guess I'll donate it," she says, as Derek kisses her neck. "Will you help me put it in the car in the morning?"_

 _Derek looks up at the box before his eyes scan the room that still seems to have Izzie's presence. "Why don't you let me take care of it? I'll make sure it gets to ... " he stops, seeming to catch himself. "I'll just take care of it."_

 _Meredith smiles at him gratefully, kissing him. "I'm going to take a shower. Want to - "_

 _*_ END OF FLASHBACK*

"Meredith!" Amelia holds up her hand, stopping her. "Were you okay with Lexie telling you about her and Mark!"

"Eww, no!"

"Well, then?"

"Fine, point taken." Meredith grudgingly concedes. "The point is Derek took care of getting rid of Izzie's things and I never asked what he did with them."

"And he never told you what he wanted to tell you about her?"

"No ," Meredith shrugs. "I mean he tried again a few months later, but I still didn't want to hear it."

*FLASHBACK*

 _Derek and Meredith are in the kitchen. Derek is propped against the counter eating a bowl of ice cream while Meredith wipes down the table. He looks up at her. "So where are we with the Izzie thing?"_

 _Meredith stops her cleaning, her hands leaning against the table, as she looks over to him. "What do you mean where are we with the Izzie thing?"_

 _"I mean, are we able to_ _talk about her yet?"_

 _Meredith straightens now. "Why? Is she sick again?" she asks as she wipes her hands on her apron. Derek notices that she seems to be purposefully avoiding looking at him now._

 _"So you were serious when you said you only wanted to talk about Izzie if she was sick again?"_

 _Meredith looks up at him, but Derek can't read her expression. She turns away after a moment, dropping the dish towel on the table. "I'm going to check on the kids."_

 _"Meredith, this isn't like you!" he yells at her just as she begins to push open the door._

 _Slowly, Meredith turns back around. "What do you want me to say, Derek? She left and she hasn't been in touch since she left."_

 _"She hasn't?"_

 _Meredith doesn't miss the surprise in his tone when he asks that. She takes a step towards him. "You ask_ _that as if you know she has been in touch?"_

 _Derek breaks the eye contact first, taking another spoonful of his ice cream. "I don't know that," he says slowly._

 _Meredith stares at him intently, not sure what to make of his comment. Derek looks up at her as he takes another spoonful. "She sent a letter," Meredith finally admits._

 _"And?"_

 _"And I didn't read it."_

 _Derek shakes his head ruefully. "Wow, that's real mature, Mer!" he says, more to himself, but the disappointment behind the words are painfully clear to his wife._

 _"She left," Meredith repeats softly, though the softness of her tone does little to mask the hurt in it._

 _Derek places his bowl on the counter and runs a tired hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his head. "I told you before that I don't approve of how Izzie left or the things she said when she left, but you really can't see this from her point of view? Mer, she had just survived a serious illness that nobody thought she was going to survive, she had been fired from her job, not to mention what a jackass Karev was to her."_

 _"So that's why you're Team Izzie?"_

 _"This isn't about being Team Izzie. It isn't about being Team Meredith. It isn't ... about teams or taking sides."_

 _"Then what is it about?"_

 _Derek sighs deeply. He and Meredith have been fighting on and off for the past several days about his taking the research project in D.C. and he's tired of arguing with her._

 _"Nothing," he says wearily. He walks over to her and kisses the side of her head. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."_

 _He looks back at her as he leaves the kitchen, but continues without saying anything. Meredith hears the door swing close and knows he's left the room. Tears trickle down her face._

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"So when was this?" Amelia asks hesitantly.

"About a week before he started his work in D.C."

"And the letter?"

Meredith shrugs. "Never read either of them."

"Either of them?"

Meredith looks back to Derek's headstone, gently tracing her hand along top of it. "She sent a letter after Derek died."

Amelia stares intently at her sister-in-law, who continues looking down at Derek's headstone as she muses sadly, "I'll never know what it was he wanted to tell me about her."

Amelia shifts uncomfortably. She looks around furtively, almost hoping Derek would appear to help appease his wife, but she knows that's not going to happen. "What was she like?" she finally asks.

"What?" Meredith asks looking up at her.

"Izzie ... what was she like?"

Meredith smiles as she seems to ponder thoughtfully Amelia's question. "She was really warm and caring. She had a great bedside manner. Her patients loved her - and she loved them, even the difficult ones. She never really had a bad word to say about anyone. Outside the hospital, she was much the same way. But unlike Christina and I, Izzie was rather domesticated. Baking, knitting, cleaning ... she loved all that stuff."

Meredith laughs slightly to herself. "Christina called her 'Little Miss Sunshine' because, while Christina and I hated getting up in the morning, Izzie would be up at the crack of dawn baking freshly made bread or muffins for everyone in the house."

"Homemade bread," Amelia whispers to herself, recalling the cemetery manager telling her how 'Cricket' brought him homemade bread - and knitted him a scarf.

Meredith is still into reciting some memories that she doesn't notice that Amelia is barely paying attention anymore. Amelia looks at her, but her mind is replaying her conversation with the cemetery manager: "She used to come all the time to visit her fiancé's grave."

"Meredith?" she calls out anxiously.

Meredith pauses. "Yeah?"

"I know Izzie and Alex were married briefly, but did she have a fiancé who died?"

"Yes, Denny. He died the night of the hospital prom. Why?"

"I ... " Amelia hesitates, her mind replaying various bits of conversations, most recently Derek telling her she was focusing on all the wrong things. She looks back at Meredith. "I have to go."

"Okay," Meredith says confused by the abruptness of it.

"Yeah, I have to go. I ... just remembered ... a consult I'm needed for," she says unconvincingly as she grabs her bag. "I'll talk to you later," she finishes as she turns and hurries off, leaving her perplexed sister-in-law behind.

"Where is it?" Amelia's back in her office now frantically searching through the "Derek's Old Cases" file drawer. "Stevens ... Where is her file?" She pauses. "Maybe it's under Izzie ... " and when that proves unsuccessful, "Or maybe not." She looks in her active cases, under both "Stevens" and "Izzie", but the file isn't there. She knows Derek wasn't the only doctor on the case; there was also Drs. Yang, Webber, and Bailey. But Derek was the lead doctor on the case, so the file would be here in her office, his old office. She looks over to her brother's picture.

"Where is it Derek? ... Are you here?" She shakes her head grimacing at the memory of his not-so-nice-but-very-so-Derek 'lecture'. "Even if you were here, you'd probably say you can't tell me," she rolls her eyes, "because there are so-called rules."

She's pacing now, scanning the office to see where the file could have possibly gotten too. She doesn't think either Bailey or Webber would have the file because they would have told her they were taking it.

"There has to be a connection. I mean even if this Patient C and Izzie aren't the same, there has to be a connection," she tries reasoning with herself. "They both bake, knit, have dead fiancés ... what are the odds of that? And Izzie ... she knew Lexie and Mark."

These similarities can't be just coincidences, Amelia thinks to herself, but even so she recognizes there are some very big holes in her theory that Izzie and this patient are the same, namely the kids. Patient C has a teenage daughter and Izzie lived most of that time in Seattle doing her internship and residency, and no one has said anything about her having had a child. Then there's the younger kids. If Patient C had twins, it was awfully soon after Izzie went into remission. She still would have been on her protocol and it would have been too soon to go off of it, even temporarily, for a pregnancy. Then there's the name: "Cricket." Is that the patient's real name? It could be, but she really believes it's more of a nickname. After all everyone at Seattle seemed to have one, but she's sure people would know about it, especially someone as close to her as Meredith was, and Meredith truly seemed not to know anyone named Cricket.

"Maybe Izzie and this patient are related somehow? And maybe I am just grasping at straws because I feel I need to prove something to my 'even though he's dead still extremely annoying brother'." Amelia turns to Derek's picture again. "Sometimes I really hate you, and, yes, I know you're dead, but that doesn't mean I still can't hate you sometimes!"

Her phone beeps with a text message. It's Owen, letting her know he, Nathan, and Alex are about to land in Atlanta and their meeting at The Shep Mobility Network Center is at 4:00 that afternoon. "He has enough on his plate for today," Amelia realizes, deciding she can wait to discuss her theory with him when he gets home. In the meantime she can at least review Stevens' file and since she doesn't seem to have the hardcopy of it in her office she's going back to the computer mainframe.

She sits at the mainframe and takes a deep breath, remembering the unpleasant surprise she had the last time she tried to look up a patient of Derek's on the mainframe. "Derek, I swear if there is a passcode attached to this file, I will find a way to torment you in death," she mutters under her breath.

She types in her password and then the patient's name "Isabelle Stevens". It dings with a pop-up: 'Did you mean Isobel Stevens?' "Yes," she murmurs through gritted teeth. It dings again.

Amelia moans as if in pain, her head drooping tiredly into her hands, before looking back at the mainframe and reading aloud what's onscreen:

PATIENT FILE ISOBEL STEVENS - ACCESS DENIED.

THIS FILE HAS BEEN SEALED: SEE LEGAL FOR ACCESS.


	3. About Izzie Stevens

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. You are awesome and so inspiring, not just with your reviews but your own stories. So please, please keep it up. Don't own anything, all Shonda Rimes.**

 **** TWELVE HOURS AGO ****

 _"Did you know Izzie Stevens?"_

That was the first surprising question. Amelia had followed it up with: "What's the deal with her and Meredith?"

Owen had hung up the phone slowly, his hand resting on the receiver.

"Izzie Stevens ... talk about a blast from the past."

He got up and tidied up a bit around the house, so Amelia wouldn't have to worry about it when she got home. He knows she's been pushing herself to figure out this Patient C mystery, and he has to admit it doesn't make much sense to him.

 _Why would Derek have taken this patient on? Why the passcode access? Why label the file 'Patient C'?_

"I don't get it," he says ruefully, putting the last glass away in the cabinet. "It doesn't make sense."

He sat back down at his desk and sighed, tiredly. Amelia's restless fits of sleep have been keeping him awake too, though he has tried not to let on. He leans back in his chair and closes his eyes.

"Izzie Stevens ... " he murmurs, opening his eyes.

He sits a few more moments, just repeating "Izzie Stevens" over and over again.

He and Izzie were never really friends, but... He shivers, feeling the goosebumps tingle his skin as they crawl up his arms.

He reaches for his work bag sitting by the door and takes out his laptop. He knows the number that he had in his Contacts for her is no good. Apparently, after she left Seattle, she changed her phone number and email address, something both Meredith and Christina had been angry about. Meredith more so. Christina had just shrugged it off at the time, figuring Izzie was doing what was best for herself. She believed Izzie would get in touch with them when she was ready, but as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and the months rolled into a new year, Izzie never got in touch with them and, gradually, she was talked about less and less until no one really thought to mention her anymore. There didn't seem to be a reason to.

He types "Izzie Stevens" into the search engine. A link to a story about her having donated $7 million dollars to what was then known as Seattle Grace Memorial Hospital for the Free Clinic pops up, but nothing recent. He wasn't on staff then. Christina had told him that Izzie's fiance had left her the money. He didn't know much about Denny, other than he had been a transplant patient and died. Christina had never wanted to go into the details.

He brings up the national phone and address directory, typing in "Izzie Stevens". A listing for an "Isobel Stevens" shows a phone number, but no address.

"470, that's an Atlanta area code," he realizes startled. "What are the odds she'd be in Atlanta?"

He looks at his watch. It was approaching 9 p.m., which would mean it's almost midnight there. It was late, certainly too late to call, but... He eyes the phone, then looks again at his computer screen. He taps his fingers nervously on the phone's receiver, his knee shaking under the desk, as he continues to stare at the screen. He looks at his watch again.

"What's the worst that can happen?" he mutters as he picks up the phone and starts dialing. "She yells at me for waking her up and hangs up on me?"

He leans back in the chair, his fingers tapping, actually more like drumming, nervously against the desk.

 _This number is no longer in service. Please check the number and place your call again_ states the familiar automated recording.

Owen lets the receiver slide down off his ear.

 **** FIVE HOURS AGO ****

 _"Why did you ask me about Izzie Stevens?"_

That's what he had asked Amelia. She had just finished telling him that she had made no inroads in Derek's Patient C mystery and gave a distracted "Hmm...sorry" answer. And he wasn't completely satisfied with her "No reason" reply, though he was curious about the fact Derek and Meredith had argued about her four years ago. He didn't know Izzie had been in touch with anyone then.

"Where are you going with this?" Amelia had asked him and all he could reply was, "I'm not sure."

And he wasn't sure. He just knew that ever since Amelia asked him if he had known Izzie he hasn't been able to get her off of his mind. More to the point, he couldn't get the nagging question out of his head: _Why was her name coming up now?_

It was a little shy of five years ago that Izzie had left Seattle. He had also told Amelia that he thought it was strange Izzie never got in touch with anyone after leaving Seattle, but she had to have. After all, if Derek and Meredith had argued about her four years ago, then she must have been in touch with them. But that brought up another question: _Why would Derek and Meredith not tell anyone they had been in touch with her?_

"Why would they have kept that secret?" Owen mused aloud to himself, watching the rain cascade off the airport windows.

 **** FOUR-AND-A-HALF HOURS AGO ****

 _"Who's Izzie Stevens?"_

Owen jumps startled, as Nathan comes up around him, two coffees in hand.

"Didn't combat teach you not to sneak up on people like that?"

"Actually, combat taught me HOW to sneak up on people like that," Nathan replies as he hands him a coffee.

Owen notes Nathan is by himself. "Where's Karev?"

"Bathroom. Why?"

Owen shakes his head. "No reason." But he decides to play it safe and closes his laptop. He puts it in his bag and settles back in the chair in the terminal's waiting area. "Thanks for the coffee."

Nathan is eyeing Owen suspiciously. "So?" he finally asks.

"So?"

"So, who's Izzie Stevens? I saw you type her name in the 'Find A Doctor' national directory. Who is she?"

"A doctor."

"Ooo ... KAY."

Nathan is both confused and curious about Owen's clear reluctance to give him a straight answer. He takes a sip of his coffee. They're sitting quietly for a few moments when...

"Does this have to do with Megan?"

"No!" Owen quickly shakes his head.

Owen notices the doubtful look on his face. "Nathan, I promise you this has nothing to do with Megan."

Nathan nods, feeling only slightly relieved.

"Then who is this doctor and why are you looking her up?"

Owen sighs, annoyed, but he knows Nathan isn't going to let it go until he gets a satisfactory answer.

"She was a friend of Christina's and ... Christina ... is worried about her. I just thought I would try to find her."

It's not a lie, not really, Owen reasons to himself. He's sure Christina has been worried about Izzie over the years, but if she has been, she's never actually said so. It just seemed like the safest answer to give Nathan, who never knew Izzie, without opening a can of worms.

Nathan studies Owen, who is looking straight ahead as he takes another sip of his coffee. It's clearly not the whole story and, frankly, it's not like Owen to be so secretive.

"But why are you looking for her and not - "

"There's Alex," Owen says abruptly.

Nathan looks up to see Alex approaching.

"I think they're calling our flight," Alex says, grabbing his overnight bag.

Sure enough, just then, Owen and Nathan hear the call to board their flight. They get up and gather their things. As Alex heads to the Gate, Owen holds Nathan back.

"About Izzie Stevens," he says in a hoarse whisper, "do NOT mention her name in front of Alex."

Though it's a whisper, Owen's tone is strong, catching Nathan off-guard. He throws a quick glance at Nathan as he takes a step towards the Gate. "Okay?"

Nathan simply shrugs - "OK" - and the two men walk to the Gate.

 **** TWO HOURS AGO ****

 _Who is Izzie Stevens?_

Nathan had to admit his curiosity has been piqued.

The flight has been uneventful so far, but he feels an indiscernible tension in the air. He's sitting between Alex and Owen, playing Solitaire on his phone, but not really focusing. He looks between his travel companions. Something's about to happen ...

"Hey, watch it!" Alex says sharply as he feels a kick jolt the back of his seat.

Nathan looks behind them to see a six-year-old boy squirming in his seat. His mother smiles apologetically. "He's been sitting too long." He looks over at Alex, who simply shrugs and gives the mom a reassuring smile.

Alex's foul mood doesn't go unnoticed by Nathan, or Owen for that matter, who gave a quick sideways glance after Alex snapped at the boy.

"I'm just trying to focus," Alex says defensively taking in Nathan's 'It was just a rambunctious kid so what's your problem' glare.

"I just think this trip is a waste of time," he continues. "There are perfectly good Occupational and Physical Therapy centers closer to home. I mean this center - The Shep Mobility Network Center - has only been in existence like two years and it's on the other side of the country."

Nathan shakes his head in frustration while Owen pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Alex, we've been through this, Arizona has been through this," Nathan sighs. "Debbie Lawrence asked us to look into it. She had read about the DAOM System, which was created specifically for low-income families of children with moderate to severe limb deformities. This Center is the only place that has this system."

"This is a fact-finding trip, Alex." Owen adds. "We might find this place doesn't fit our needs or we don't meet their criteria. I mean they only take a small number of cases, but it has garnered a very good reputation in the short time it has been open."

"Besides, I thought gathering more information about this place was the whole point of you coming," Nathan smiles tightly.

"Nathan!" Owen says sharply.

"According to Arizona," he continues ignoring Owen, "that's your job."

Alex scowls at the not-so-subtle jibe.

"Look, I'm sorry ... " he shakes his head, looking away from Riggs and Hunt to compose himself. He seems to be blinking back tears.

He turns back to them now. "I'm just frustrated. I mean I can't practice medicine, don't know if I'll ever be able to again, things with Jo are a mess, and on top of that today is ..." His voice trails off, sighing heavily. "I'm sorry."

Crossing his legs, he shifts the weight of his body towards the aisle and opens the copy of the Seattle Times he brought with him.

"I take it this conversation is over," Nathan whispers to Owen, who simply rolls his eyes.

"And don't think that I don't know, Riggs, that you didn't want me coming," Alex says suddenly never looking away from the paper.

"I am officially out of this conversation now," Owen quips under his breath, turning to his blackberry.

Nathan rolls his eyes. _Thanks a lot._

"Look Alex," he begins after exhaling another frustrated sigh, "I have nothing against you. You're Meredith's friend. Let's just ... it's an overnight trip, so ... let's just get along."

After Alex responds with a low grunt, he turns back to his phone and his game of Solitaire. _Really wish I was solitary right now._

He and Alex have never really gotten along and after his relationship with Meredith became public it went downhill. He knows Alex thinks he's a player and just using Meredith. He and Meredith have cooled things down since his former girlfriend Megan came back, which Alex seems to think solidifies his opinion of him. He hasn't been able to convince him his feelings for Meredith are genuine, but he knows Alex is Meredith's best friend, or as she calls him "her person", so he has tried to get along for the sake of getting along.

 _Meredith ... Meredith is Alex's best friend ... And as such she would likely know his previous girlfriends. Owen said not to mention Izzie Stevens in front of Alex ... Is Izzie Stevens a former girlfriend?_

He glances over to Owen, who is looking out the window, and then Alex, who is still reading the newspaper. Though Nathan thinks he's only pretending to since he hasn't turned the page once in fifteen minutes. Clearly it was an "I'm ignoring you" tactic. He shakes his head bemusedly before turning back to his phone. He closes his game and clicks on his "Messaging" icon. He scrolls down to Meredith's name.

HEY THERE, WE'RE EN ROUTE. SHOULD BE LANDING SOON. QUESTION: WHO IS IZZIE STEVENS? DO YOU KNOW HER?

Send.

He closes his phone, laying it on the food tray in front of him.

 _Who is Izzie Stevens? If Owen won't tell him, maybe Meredith will._

 **** 11:05 AM PACIFIC CENTRAL TIME / 2:05 PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME ****

 _WHO IS IZZIE STEVENS?_

Meredith was in the middle of washing dishes when the text came through. She creases her forehead trying to understand the meaning behind the question. Why would Nathan be asking about Izzie when he never knew her. Nevertheless, she answers him.

DID I KNOW IZZIE STEVENS?

Nathan sees the text appear on his phone.

YES. WENT THROUGH INTERNSHIP AND RESIDENCY WITH HER. WHY?

Nathan reads the text. His fingers are itching to start typing a reply, but... _I don't know why._ He just knows that his curiosity has been piqued about this woman, even though he has absolutely no idea who she is. He sets the phone back down, drumming his fingers on the tray. What does he reply?

"Do you mind?" Alex snaps.

Nathan sees he's looking down at his tapping fingers. "Sorry."

The Flight Attendant announces their descent into the Hatsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Trays need to be put back up and seats upright with seatbelts buckled. Phones placed on vibrate.

Nathan grabs his phone and puts it in his coat pocket, relieved he can't reply to Meredith just yet. This will give him time to come up with a reason why he is asking her about this Izzie Stevens person.

 **** 11:30 AM PACIFIC CENTRAL TIME ****

 _"Izzie Stevens? Wasn't she a doctor here?"_

Amelia inhales sharply, her hands forming fists in her pockets. She just wants something to go her way for once, but she's hit one roadblock after another. Now, Catherine is questioning her in a rather authoritative tone. She had hoped to talk to Richard alone about this, but was stuck bringing it up in front of Catherine and Ben as they have all converged in the lounge. Slowly, she exhales.

"She was," Amelia nods in confirmation, "but she was also a patient ... apparently."

"Yes, Stage 4 Melanoma that had spread to the brain," Richard supplies. "Touch and go for awhile, but she pulled through largely thanks to Drs. Shepherd and Yang."

"You and Bailey were also on the case, weren't you?" Amelia questions, and after Richard confirms they were, continues. "Would you know where her file is? I have a patient with a similar diagnosis and wanted to see how Derek approached it."

"Isn't it against HIPPA to look up a patient's file at random, especially a former patient?" Catherine questions sternly.

With Ben looking on curiously to this exchange, Amelia tries backpedaling. "Of course it is. I'm not looking to share her information with anyone. I just wanted to see how my brother approached it."

"The brother you hate being compared to," Catherine continues.

As Amelia grimaces, Richard tries intervening. "Catherine, there is nothing wrong with Amelia reviewing similar case histories," he reassures, adding meaningfully as he looks towards Amelia, "as long as HIPPA rules are not violated. In fact, I am sure Stevens would be thrilled to know her case is being used as a learning tool."

Amelia smiles uneasily listening to Richard and Catherine's back and forth. She, of course, knows from trying to access it on the mainframe that Izzie's file has been sealed by the hospital's legal department. She had only brought it up hoping to find out _why_ it had been sealed before actually going to Legal. But from how Richard is responding she gets the sense he doesn't know the file's even been sealed, which she finds to be rather curious since one, he was one of the doctors on the case, and two, he was Chief of Surgery then. She also begins to wonder if, once again, she is "focusing on all the wrong things" as Derek had so rudely informed her.

Amelia sags down in her chair, massaging her temples. She is just about at her breaking point. She has done her best to try and find out who Patient C is and for what? It's not like Derek was grateful for her efforts when he told her that he had "Clearly" wasted her time "and my time!" _Was there even time in the afterlife?_ She had meant to ask him, but then he told her to "Just forget it" and disappeared on her.

"Amelia?" Richard says looking at her rather concerned. "Did you hear me?"

"No, sorry, I didn't," she replies, feeling Richard's, Catherine's, and even Ben's eyes on her.

"I said Derek was the lead doctor on the case, so Stevens' file is probably in his office, which, of course, is your office now," he tells her.

"Right," Amelia nods, trying hard to hold it together, "It's just I looked all over the office and it doesn't seem to be there, so I thought maybe," she sighs heavily, "you or Bailey had it."

"Well, I don't. Maybe Bailey, but I don't know why she would," Richard replies.

"Well, thanks anyway," she says wearily as she gets up and leaves the lounge.

Outside the door, Amelia sighs heavily. She should just forget it like Derek told her to, but when did she ever listen to him. "Maybe this is the time for me to start," she murmurs under her breath. She's startled out of her thoughts by Ben.

"Hey, I couldn't help but hear what you were talking about," he tells Amelia, who only smiles politely at him, "and I think you should check with Miranda about this. I know she's been worried about a former patient of Derek's."

Amelia immediately perks up. "Bailey is worried about Izzie Stevens, why?"

"I don't know that it's Izzie," Ben clarifies. "She didn't tell me the patient's name or why she's worried. She just said she couldn't get in touch with this patient."

"Thanks for the info, Ben," she says appreciatively.

After Ben walks away, she ponders this information, wondering aloud, "If Bailey is worried about a former patient of Derek's, why wouldn't she come to me?"

 **** 2:45 EASTERN STANDARD TIME ****

 _Izzie Stevens._

Owen shakes his head. Why can't he let this go?

They have gotten their car rental and have just enough time to check in at the hotel and make it to the Center for the meeting. Thankfully, the ride to the hotel is quiet. He looks over at Nathan and, through the rearview mirror, Alex. It was a long flight.

He didn't engage much on the plane, unable to shake the nagging feeling consuming him. He had wanted to continue his online search for Izzie, but knew it wasn't a good idea under the circumstances. Even though Nathan was sitting between him and Alex, he didn't want to chance Alex seeing that he was looking her up and his going off on him. Besides, Nathan is now curious about Izzie. He knows Nathan spent the whole flight chomping at the bit to ask him more about this, which is why he just spent time on his blackberry or looking out the window. The only Izzie-related thing he did was to send a text.

HEY, QUICK QUESTION: R U IN TOUCH AT ALL WITH IZZIE?

He checked his phone a few times, but hadn't received a reply. Not that he expected to, at least not right away. It usually took Christina some time to get back to him, that is, if she did at all. It occurred to him she might not reply and he, of course, has no reason to think she has been in touch with Izzie, especially now with her in Switzerland. He just felt like he had to put it out there.

He looks back over to Nathan. "You have the directions to the Center, right?"

Nathan pats his breast pocket.

Owen nods. He's actually looking forward to visiting the Center. From everything he's read about it, it has made a lot of strides in a short time with most of the journal articles giving it a five-star rating. The visit would be even better if he could just get Izzie off of his mind.

 **** 4:01 EASTERN STANDARD TIME / 10:01 PM CENTRAL EUROPEAN TIME ****

 _R U IN TOUCH AT ALL WITH IZZIE?_

Christina reread the text after climbing into bed. She had just left a late-night meeting when the text from Owen came in and it had actually made her stop in her tracks as she wondered if Izzie was sick again. Then she realized that Owen was only asking her if she was in touch with Izzie, meaning that he wasn't? Well, truthfully, she wasn't sure if that is what it meant, but she did know that if Izzie was sick again and Owen knew this he'd call her, not text her. But why was he even asking about her?

IZZIE? ... KIND OF AN OUT OF THE BLUE QUESTION ISN'T IT? ... BUT TO ANSWER YOURS, NOT FOR A COUPLE YEARS.

The text from Christina came in just as he, Nathan, and Alex were lead into a conference room.

"Would you gentleman like any water or coffee?" asked the receptionist, to which they all murmured "no, thank you."

"Ok, then, Dr. Thomas should be in shortly."

"Is the Doctor who created the DAOM System on staff here?" Alex inquires as he opens his briefcase, pulling out his laptop and a notebook.

"Yes."

"Will we be able to meet with that doctor, or even the founder of this center? I'd like to get more background."

"I'm not sure, to be honest. There's a board meeting going on as we speak, but Dr. Thomas has been a part of the creating of the DAOM System and the establishment of this center from the beginning. I'm sure she will be able to tell you anything you want to know."

The three of them just nod their thanks and the receptionist takes her leave.

"What a bunch of crock!" Alex says, no sooner than the door has closed. "We can't meet the doctor who created the System or the founder of this center!"

Owen sighs heavily, massaging his right temple. "That is not what she said, Alex."

"Ok, I'm going to say it," Nathan says, briefly looking to Owen for support. But he just shrugs. "I don't think you should be here for the meeting."

"Excuse me?"

"You're on suspension, so really you shouldn't be here for the medical aspects - "

"Screw you, Riggs!"

"Alex! Nathan!" Owen admonishes, just as the door opens.

The three men turn startled and a little red-faced. They quickly recover, standing to greet their host.

"Sorry that Dr. Thomas and I kept you waiting ... "

Alex and Owen speak at the same time - "Izzie?" Alex gasps open-mouthed ... "Dr. Stevens?" Owen says questioningly.

Nathan throws sideway glances to both Alex and Owen, seeing their faces change from red to white. In fact, he's pretty sure Alex is about to pass out as all color slowly drains from his face. His eyes, though, has never left the beautiful doctor who has just entered the room.

"So you're Izzie Stevens?" he says sounding a bit awestruck.

He notices Izzie has stopped mid-stride into the room, closing the file in her hand. The surprise on her face mirrors Alex's and Owen's faces and, as she looks from one to the other, he sees her arms fold, almost as a protective shield, around her waist. She looks at him now, offering a small smile.

"Yes ... I'm ... Izzie Stevens," she sounds as if she's forcing the words out, "and this is ... " she turns her gaze squarely to Alex now "... a surprise."


	4. Author's Note

Hi Everyone, my apologies for not posting any updates for Circle of Life. The past few months have been a trying time due to work related and personal issues. But I will be updating and soon, as I have been feeling my writing mojo slowly returning. Hope to have the next chapter up by the end of the month. Thank you all for your continued interest and ask you all to hang in there with me a little longer.


	5. This Is A Surprise

**HELLO EVERYONE! NEW CHAPTER IS UP. HOPE YOU ARE ALL STILL INTERESTED IN THE STORY. SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME SO LONG TO UPDATE IT. THE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN TOUGH. IN ADDITION TO POSTING CHAPTER 4, I MADE SOME CHANGES TO THE FIRST 3 CHAPTERS. THE CHANGES DO NOT IMPACT CHAPTER 4, BUT WERE NECESSARY FOR THE STORY TO FLOW BETTER MOVING FORWARD, ESPECIALLY CHAPTER 3. SO I WOULD SUGGEST REREADING THEM. AND STARTING WITH CHAPTER 5, WE WILL LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CENTER, THE DAOM SYSTEM, ETC. I JUST HONESTLY DID NOT WANT IT TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE CHARACTERS IN THIS CHAPTER. HOPE IT'S BEEN WORTH THE WAIT AND AGAIN ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO SHONDA.**

"And this is ... a surprise."

Izzie's words hung in the air between them as she and Alex seemed to be locked in a staring contest. Which one was going to look away first? That's what Nathan and Owen wondered as they squirmed uncomfortably, neither one of them daring to speak up.

"Dr. Stevens, is everything all right?" a voice called from the doorway.

Startled out of her seeming trance, Izzie half-turned towards the doctor in the doorway while opening the file in her hand.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It's just ... " She turns back to the three doctors still standing at the table, without looking up at them. " ... we were expecting Dr. Robbins and a ... Dr. Riggs?"

"That would be me!" Nathan says almost boastfully, his enthusiasm causing Owen to shake his head in slight exasperation. "Dr. Nathan Riggs."

Izzie's formerly tight expression relaxes as her lips curl into a small smile. She can see that Nathan is enjoying this - whatever THIS is.

"Dr. Isobel Stevens," she says, taking his hand, "and this is Dr. Karen Thomas, our Patient Intake Coordinator. Dr. Thomas, this is Dr. Owen Hunt," she nods towards Owen, "and Dr. Alex Karev", nodding towards Alex.

Dr. Thomas shakes Nathan's and then Owen's hands, but when she reaches for Alex, he doesn't move. He has remained transfixed in place, his brown eyes still wide, mouth still agape in surprise.

Nathan nudges him, whispering hoarsely, "Alex!"

"What?"

Nathan motions towards Izzie and Dr. Thomas, and Alex sees the older doctor's hand extended.

"Right, I'm so sorry," he says, his face flushing a little. "Hi, Dr. Karev."

"So, the three of you know each other?" Nathan asks, gesturing around the table, earning him a kick to his foot under the table from Owen.

Owen, who has gotten over his initial shock, has adopted his "Dr. Hunt" face, the one that is neutral yet warm when interacting with patients. He looks over briefly to his fellow doctors. Alex is still fairly white, his eyes fixated on Izzie, who he notices is trying very hard not to look back at him. Then there's Nathan, whose gleeful smirk hasn't left his face since he announced "So you're Izzie Stevens" as if finding himself in the middle of a rock concert and having had the chance to meet the rock star.

"Iz ... Dr. Stevens," he gestures towards her, "did her internship and residency at what was then called Seattle Grace."

"Oh," Nathan nods, "great hospital."

"It is," Izzie agrees. "In fact today is the tenth anniversary of when we ... " she glances hesitantly over to Alex, "... I started my internship there."

"And, about Dr. Robbins," Owen continues, "she had a family emergency in New York City. Since Dr. Riggs was the one who initiated this meeting, we didn't think we needed to notify the Center that Dr. Robbins wasn't coming and I and Dr. Karev would be."

"It's ... fine," Izzie nods her head slowly. "I hope it's nothing too serious with Dr. Robbins' family."

Though she gives him a warm smile, Owen notices the smile doesn't extend all the way to her eyes. He offers a small nod back in return, realizing it is anything but "fine."

"We should get started," interjects Dr. Thomas. "We're already behind."

 **** ALEX'S POV ****

"And this is ... a surprise."

The words echoed in his ears. He doesn't think there was a time when truer words were ever spoken. He could hear the discussion commencing, mostly between Nathan and Dr. Thomas, but the words weren't registering. His focus was solely on the woman sitting at a slightly diagonal angle across from him, the woman he hasn't seen in almost five years when he had told her to leave.

*FLASHBACK*

 _Alex is standing at the altar, looking lovingly at Izzie, as he told her:_

 _"Today, I become a man. Today, I become a husband. Today, I become accountable to someone."_

 _A touched Izzie kisses him, earning a gentle, "Not yet", from the minister who then pronounces them husband and wife._

 _"Now?" Izzie asks anxiously._

 _"Now," the minister nods._

 _Izzie and Alex kiss as the whole church applauds the new Mr. and Mrs. Alex Karev._

*END OF FLASHBACK*

He had told her to leave and she did. She had left initially after getting fired, but she came back with her gravely ill former high school teacher. Shepherd, of course, had been able to save the man's life and she left again with him when he was discharged, but she came back a few weeks later. She had wanted to make things right between them. They learned her cancer was in remission. She was happy, asked him to give them another chance. He was happy too, but he wasn't sure he could trust her. When the going got tough after she was fired, she had left. So he had told her to leave and this time not come back.

*FLASHBACK*

 _"I deserve someone who's going to stay," he told her as they sat in the locker room._

*END OF FLASHBACK*

And she did as he asked. She left and she hadn't come back. She hadn't come back. He had called out for her in his delirium after being shot by Gary Clark, but she wasn't there because he had told her to leave and she did - and she hadn't come back.

Now, almost five years later, here she was sitting across from him, here at The Shep Mobility Network Center in Atlanta, Georgia, of all places. Looking at her you'd never know five years had passed. Her curly blonde hair was longer now, back to its pre-cancer length. Her porcelain skin flawless, her pink lips curling slightly upward now at some joke Riggs made.

Riggs. He, Riggs, and Hunt came to The Shep Mobility Network Center to gather information and potential treatment options for one of Riggs' and Arizona's patients. He is supposed to be gathering more information about the place. He looks down at his notepad, confused. All the literature he has seen about this place nowhere did he see a "Dr. Isobel Stevens" as one of the doctors who worked here. And if Arizona had, she would have told him.

He clears his throat now. "I don't recall seeing your name listed as one of the doctors affiliated with this place."

Izzie glances over to him. Her blue eyes, he could always get lost in them. "That's because it wasn't," she says simply, quickly returning her attention to Nathan and Dr. Thomas.

Alex nods slightly in response as Nathan throws an uneasy glance towards Owen, who makes a small gesture with his hand indicating it will be fine. Alex is clearly oblivious to his colleagues' apprehension as he works this out in his mind: _Is she a new doctor here? This is hardly her field of expertise, so why is she working here?_

"So what are you doing here?" he asks pointedly.

"Excuse me?" Izzie meets his sharp gaze.

The other three doctors are looking over at him now as Owen tries unsuccessfully to cut in. "Dr. Karev," he begins, but Alex talks right over him.

"I mean you're not a Peds doctor, an Ortho doctor, or a Plastics doctor, so why would you be working here?"

"Is there a problem?" Dr. Thomas interjects now.

"You know what, Dr. Karev," Izzie says calmly, "the focus of this meeting should be the Lawrence boy and what this Center can do for him and clearly my presence is distracting you from that focus, so I am going to go."

"Dr. Stevens, that is not ... " Owen tries interceding again, but Izzie closes her file and, as she stands, says, "I leave you gentlemen in the very capable hands of Dr. Thomas."

"Dr. Stevens?" Dr. Thomas begins, the confusion in her voice evident.

"Dr. Thomas," she places a hand on her shoulder in a 'It's fine' gesture, "please brief me when you're done here."

As she pushes away from the table, Izzie turns her attention back to the three doctors sitting across from her and extends her hand.

"Dr. Riggs, nice to have met you." She says warmly.

"Yes, uh, you too, Dr. Stevens." Nathan stands awkwardly, taking her hand.

"Dr. Hunt, good to see you again." She continues still warmly.

"Yes, you too, Iz ... Dr. Stevens." Owen's tone is more apologetic as he takes her hand.

Turning to Alex, she drops her hand and all warmth evaporates from her voice as she allows a curt "Alex" and turns and leaves the room.

However, her departure does nothing to ease the tension in the room, as both Nathan and Owen throw annoyed glances at Alex as they re-take their seats. Dr. Thomas looks sternly among them.

"Does somebody want to tell me what that was all about?"

"I wouldn't mind having an answer to that myself," Nathan says, glaring at Alex.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I know Dr. Stevens and I know she's not a Peds, Ortho, or Plastics doctor," Alex says matter-of-factly.

"Dr. Karev, it's been almost five years," Owen points out, shaking his head. "She could have gone into one of those specialties."

"Actually, Dr. Hunt, Dr. Karev is correct," Dr. Thomas states evenly. "Dr. Stevens is not a Peds doctor, an Ortho doctor, or a Plastics doctor."

"See!" Alex turns smugly to Owen, who just glares at him.

"What she is, Dr. Karev," she's looking sharply back to Alex now, "is the Creator of the DAOM System and the Founder of this Center."

"Izzie founded this Center." Alex and Owen say in unison, their eyes both raising in surprise.

"Yes. Aside from a handful of $1 million dollar investors, she fully financed this Center and secured the patent for the DAOM System using her own funds."

"Wow, I'm impressed," Nathan says in awe.

"Dr. Thomas, as much as I abhor Dr. Karev's behavior," Owen throws a furtive glance over to Alex, who is clearly absorbing this information, "the one thing he has said that I agree with is that Dr. Stevens' name does not appear anywhere in the literature about the DAOM System or the Center."

"She does not want the publicity and is very adamant about that," Dr. Thomas explains. "This wasn't done for professional accolades or a career aspiration. This was a labor of love for her, pure and simple. We tried to convince her to go public, but the best we could get her to agree to was creating a brochure to provide to doctors and parents who come to the Center."

She takes three such brochures from her binder and hands one to each of them. Owen and Nathan briefly scan the brochure while Alex leaves his sitting in front of him untouched.

"Gentlemen, the Shep Mobility Network Center has only been open and operating for a short amount of time. It takes most Centers years to acquire the kind of reputation that we have in just two, a feat we have only been able to accomplish by assembling a team that shares the vision of this Center," Dr. Thomas explains, looking pointedly at Alex now, "which means all professional egos and personal conflicts are checked at the door."

Nathan and Owen share a knowing glance, realizing where this is headed. "Dr. Thomas ... " Nathan begins, but Dr. Thomas doesn't allow him to interrupt her.

"As you know, we are a very small center, so we only accept a limited number of cases. When we do accept a case, it is with doctors and hospitals that demonstrate these core attributes and, based on what I have witnessed in the last half-hour, Grey-Sloan Memorial is not one of those hospitals."

As Dr. Thomas packs up her paperwork, Nathan makes a last-ditch appeal.

"Dr. Karev is not actually involved in this case and wouldn't be involved going forward," he insists.

"Be that as it may, Dr. Riggs, he's here and he is representing the hospital," she notes.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Riggs, I really am," she softens her tone, noting his clear distress at this turn of events, "but surely you understand that to effectively administer the care these patients require, we need to work in collaboration with doctors without the added stress of personal issues interfering. Perhaps down the road we can work together, I just don't think now is the right time. Good day, gentlemen."

An uneasy silence falls among the three doctors as Alex single-mindedly focuses on putting his laptop and notebook in his briefcase. "I don't know about you guys," he says, slinging his briefcase over his shoulder, "but I could use a drink or two."

 **** OWEN'S POV ****

"And this is ... a surprise."

It certainly was, for Izzie and for them. As Izzie introduced Dr. Thomas, Owen thought back to the previous night when he had looked her up in the national telephone directory. The number for her, which had an Atlanta area code, was no longer in service. He took that to mean... Well, he's not sure what he took that to mean exactly, but at the very least he figured she wasn't in Atlanta anymore. He certainly wasn't expecting to see her here at The Shep Mobility Network Center.

As Nathan started to present the Lawrence case, Owen noticed that Izzie was very purposely avoiding looking at him and especially Alex. She had said they were expecting Dr. Robbins and Dr. Riggs, which was true. He briefly wondered if Izzie had known he and Alex were coming instead, would she have attended this meeting? Judging from her reaction to seeing them, he doesn't think she would have.

He had so many questions and no answers, he realized, just as he heard Alex say, "I don't recall seeing your name listed as one of the doctors affiliated with this place."

Nathan threw him a wary glance and he simply gestured to him that it would be okay. Though, admittedly, he wasn't sure about that. Izzie had replied to Alex simply and calmly. "That's because it wasn't." She was definitely holding it together, better than Alex was, and to his and Nathan's relief Alex appeared to be letting it go until his "So what are you doing here?" question.

It was at this point that Owen realized he was going to have to intervene and he tried to, albeit, unsuccessfully, resulting in Izzie taking her leave from the meeting. Alex's defense of his behavior to Dr. Thomas - "She's not a Peds doctor, or an Ortho doctor, or a Plastics doctor" - was lame at best. And his smug "See" when Dr. Thomas affirmed that what he said was true caused his blood to boil. But Alex was the one with egg on his face when Dr. Thomas added, "What she is, Dr. Karev, is the Creator of the DAOM System and founder of this Center", and he had to admit the shock reflected on Alex's face probably matched his own.

"Izzie founded this Center?" they had both said at the same time.

To say he was shocked was the second understatement of the day. The first one being, of course, "And this is a surprise," which had to be, from where he was sitting, the understatement of the last five years, if not decade. He, along with Arizona and Nathan, had thoroughly researched the DAOM System and the Center when Mrs. Lawrence first asked about her son, Zackary, maybe going there and nowhere had they seen the name "Izzie Stevens" or "Isobel Stevens" associated with it.

"Dr. Thomas, as much as I abhor Dr. Karev's behavior" - and Owen did absolutely abhor his behavior, both on a personal and professional level - "the one thing he has said that I agree with is that Dr. Stevens' name does not appear anywhere in the literature about the DAOM System or the Center."

Dr. Thomas's explanation of Izzie not wanting the publicity only served to raise more questions, at least for him, on top of the questions already swarming his head. Even if she didn't do it for professional accolades or career aspiration, why hide such a huge accomplishment? Granted, Izzie never strode for the limelight in quite the same way as Meredith and especially Christina did, but she was no wallflower either, so why the secrecy?

He had just begun to scan the brochure Dr. Thomas provided them when he saw her packing up her paperwork. He couldn't really say he was surprised that she was cutting their meeting short or her announcement that working together would not be possible because Grey-Sloan Memorial does not share the core attributes in which the Center is founded, and Nathan's attempt to sway her by saying Alex is not, nor would he be, involved with the case just had him rolling his eyes. Because regardless of that, as Dr. Thomas herself noted, Alex was here acting as a representative of the hospital, though admittedly he's not sure Arizona told Bailey that Alex was making this trip with them. And he had smiled, resignedly, when Dr. Thomas said "Good day, gentlemen," and took her leave.

He and Nathan were both still wrapping their heads around what had just happened when Alex, briefcase slung over his shoulder, announced "I could use a drink or two." The scowl he made was nothing compared to Nathan's and he actually had to hold Nathan back from lunging at him. "Not here, not now!" he warned.

"Seriously!" Nathan challenged.

"Yes, seriously!" Owen tries to keep his voice even as he attempts to get through to a fuming Nathan. "Nathan, our credibility has already taken a hit. Do you really want to compound it by them having to call security on us? Let's just take our leave and we can deal with everything else later."

"Fine!" Nathan snaps, as he quickly grabs his things and heads out.

After taking a deep breath, Owen follows suit, taking note of Dr. Thomas by the receptionist area as he does. Without hesitation, he approaches her.

"Dr. Thomas, I ... have no excuses for what transpired. I am just really sorry for it and I hope you do not let what happened color your opinion of Grey-Sloan Memorial as a whole."

"I'm sorry, too, Dr. Hunt, and I do hope you understand why, in good conscience, I can't move forward with this," she counters.

"I do absolutely and again I'm sorry," he assures her. "And will you please convey my sincerest apologizes to Dr. Stevens."

"I will," Dr. Thomas smiles. "Good day, Dr. Hunt."

Owen nods slightly. "You too."

 **** NATHAN'S POV ****

"And this is ... a surprise."

The whole trip he couldn't help feeling an indiscernible tension surrounding it. Was this "surprise" why? Clearly, neither Owen nor Alex knew Dr. Stevens worked here, and clearly, she hadn't expected to see them here either. But at this point that was neither here or there. They were all there and he has definitely picked up that, at least for Alex, it wasn't a happy surprise. The man literally turned white as a sheet when she walked in.

He had been curious about this Izzie Stevens from when he first saw that Owen was looking her up online and Owen's vague responses only fueled that curiosity, to the point he had texted Meredith to ask her if she knew Izzie Stevens. She had replied she did and asked why he wanted to know. He hadn't known what to reply, so he hadn't. He just knew he couldn't let this go and he wasn't sure why.

Now, she was standing before him, smiling warmly at him as she shook his hand. Her beauty was undeniable. If she wasn't a doctor, he's sure she would have made a hell of a model with her long blonde hair pulled slightly back, curly strands framing her face. Her skin was like porcelain, bringing out the sparkle in her blue eyes and her light pink lips providing just the right amount of color that her face just simply dazzled.

And he was dazzled. But, as he soon discovered, her beauty didn't tell the whole story. As he presented the case of Zackary Lawrence, he was struck by her quick take on his condition and how they might proceed. The tension was still present, emanating off of waves from Alex, but he did his best to ignore it and keep her and Dr. Thomas engaged with both his medical knowledge and his humor, smiling to himself when her lips curled up involuntarily at a dumb joke he cracked.

Then it all went downhill. In a matter of seconds. Despite Owen's efforts to intervene, what was looking like a promising working collaboration came to a screeching halt. Sitting next to Alex, he could see in his peripheral vision that Alex was clearly affected at seeing Dr. Stevens - and not in a good way. That was part of the reason he did his best to keep Drs. Stevens and Thomas engaged. He had hoped to get through his presentation before Alex could no longer hold it together, but ...

"So what are you doing here?" Alex had asked. He, Owen, and Dr. Thomas looked at him now for what was undoubtedly coming. And he had to give Dr. Stevens props for how she handled Alex. In fact, he thinks her calm demeanor only served to fuel Alex's undercurrent of anger behind his words.

As he watched her meet Alex's gaze before providing her simple answer, he recalled her coming into the conference room, stopping mid-stride as she saw who was there. She had closed the file she had been reading from and wrapped her arms around her waist as if they were a shield protecting her and, in that moment, he had wanted to protect her. He's not sure where the feeling came from because, obviously, he doesn't know her or the history between her and Alex, but Alex's attitude was making him angry on her behalf.

As she held out her hand to say goodbye with a "Nice to have met you", he could only offer a mere "Yes, uh, you too Dr. Stevens". Though he bit the smile that threatened to form when she had turned to Karev and dropped the pretense. "Alex" she had said curtly before leaving, and then hearing from Dr. Thomas that she was in fact the Creator of the DAOM System and founder of the Center only made him Team Izzie even more.

"Wow, I'm impressed" he had said and he was in more ways than one. So when Dr. Thomas pulled the plug on any hope of working together, at least for the foreseeable future, he wanted to pummel Karev, who flippantly said, "I don't know about you guys, but I could use a drink or two." Not just for ruining the meeting, but for the shoddy treatment of Izzie and was frustrated as hell when Owen held him back.

"Not here, not now!" Owen warned, and he had to concede, albeit grudgingly, that having security called on them would permanently close the door on any future association with the Center in general but more specifically Dr. Stevens. He grabbed his stuff and left before he could change his mind about slugging Alex.

 **** IZZIE'S POV ****

"And this is ... a surprise."

Back in her office now, she massaged her temples as she reflected on the "surprise", a very unwelcome and disconcerting surprise. She, of course, couldn't begrudge Dr. Robbins her family emergency, but why send Owen and Alex in her place. Owen, she could handle, but Alex? Maybe if she hadn't been staying up on the happenings in Seattle and, therefore, wasn't aware that Alex was on suspension pending a criminal case involving an assault, it wouldn't have been such a big surprise - a VERY, VERY BIG surprise. She takes a prescription bottle from her desk drawer, pours out a couple pills, and downs them.

Leaning back in her chair, eyes closed, she took several deep breaths. She had only herself to blame. Now, more than ever, she was kicking herself for not just going home after arriving back in Atlanta earlier that afternoon. In trying to avoid one situation in which she'd have to face questions she didn't want to answer, she only succeeded in making a bigger situation for herself. It's not like she hadn't known that it was out of the realm of possibility of seeing anyone from Seattle again, especially Alex, she just wish she had been prepared for it. But is one ever prepared for running into an ex-lover in the most unlikely of places?

Sighing, Izzie let her mind drift to the last time she saw Alex. They had just gotten her latest scans and saw that she was in remission. She had thought that could be a new beginning for them, but he thought otherwise. He looked the same, older but the same. That was all she could really recall because she had forced herself to focus on the Lawrence case and, by extension, Dr. Riggs and Dr. Thomas. Though the coldness in his eyes and hardness in his voice the two times he spoke to her were indisputable.

Izzie scanned the work on her desk. She always wondered how he'd be if he saw her again. Happy? Sad? Angry? Well, she supposes she has her answer now. She shouldn't have let Alex "chase her" out of the meeting and, truthfully, he didn't. She had been wanting a reason to leave as soon as she realized who they were meeting. If Dr. Thomas hadn't been behind her, she just may have turned on her heel and walked out. She had definitely been trapped - like a deer in a vehicle's headlights - only there had been no hope for escape.

Now she would be working with them. She always knew it was a possibility, but why now? Why was the universe putting the Seattle people back in her orbit now? And it wasn't just this meeting. Clearly, something else was happening. How else could she explain the two texts she received within the span of just the last twenty-fours? Then there was Owen, whose eyes were clouded over with an obvious question mark. The times she felt his eyes on her, studying her, she felt like he was looking for answers, which is part of the reason she kept her focus squarely on Dr. Riggs.

Ah yes, Dr. Riggs. She smiled to herself now. He was initially enjoying himself way too much, but she liked him. There was something about him that made her feel safe, a feeling she hadn't felt since... She shook her head. That doesn't really matter anymore, since she now wasn't feeling very safe. "Oh, Izzie, you knew this day would come. Really, what were you thinking?" she berates herself.

She looks over to the picture frame on her desk. "I was thinking that the longer I don't go home, the longer I could put this off." Truth be told though she knew she wasn't going to be able to put it off too much longer, no matter how hard she tried - and she has been trying really hard.

A knock at the door breaks her somber reflection. "Can I come in?" asks Dr. Thomas, as she opens the door slightly.

"Yes, of course," Izzie smiles, standing now. "I'm sorry I left in the middle of the meeting, I just felt it was for the best. The focus needed to be on the Lawrence boy and I do think we can help him."

"I didn't accept the case," Dr. Thomas informs her. "Under the circumstances I think that is for the best."

"It isn't," Izzie replies, "at least not for the Lawrence boy."

"You really want to work with them after what happened?"

Izzie hesitates to answer. It certainly would make things so much easier for her if she had no reason to be in contact with them, but this wasn't about her. It was about the Center and its core mission and to deprive the Lawrence boy this because it would be easier for her goes against that in every way. "This isn't about them. It's about the patient and I always knew that one day working with them was in the very realm of possibility."

"Today doesn't have to be that 'one day'," cautions Dr. Thomas.

Izzie smiles. She knows Dr. Thomas is just being protective of her and she greatly appreciates that. After all, if it wasn't for her and the staff respecting her privacy she knows she would not have been as successful as she's been in keeping her name out of the public eye in regards to the DAOM System and the Center.

"Dr. Thomas ... Karen," Izzie motions for her to sit as she comes from around her desk, "I am a firm believer that a person's sins should not be casted upon another and a whole group should not be punished for one person's bad behavior."

"Izzie," Dr. Thomas pauses as Izzie sits in front of her now and takes her hand into hers. "You do realize that this means everyone in Seattle are going to find out where you are."

"Us not taking this case and not helping the Lawrence boy is not going to prevent that from happening," she notes. Admittedly that had been one of her concerns when Dr. Riggs first contacted the Center, but she had been fine with him and Arizona coming because, while she knew Arizona was close to Alex, she believed Arizona would have honored and respected her desire not to have her whereabouts known. And had it just been Owen with Dr. Riggs she's sure she could have counted on the same outcome, but not with Alex. In fact, she'd be surprised if he hadn't already called Meredith while drowning himself in a bottle of Tequila. "I appreciate your concern, really I do, but it's not like I didn't know they were coming."

"Dr. Robbins and Dr. Hunt are excellent doctors. Even Dr. Riggs seems very good," Izzie continues. "The point is, Karen, they obviously researched the Center before coming here and I'd doubt they would have come all this way if they didn't feel we could help their patient."

"You didn't say anything about Dr. Karev's capabilities ," Dr. Thomas points out.

Izzie sighs. Of course, she knew Alex was a great doctor. She knew Arizona had taken him under her wing, mentoring him, and that he had even been offered a position at John Hopkins. She just felt the less she said about Alex the better it would be.

"We don't believe in letting personal differences interfere in accomplishing our mission here. Clearly, Dr. Karev did not ... give off ... a very good first impression," she allows.

"That's an understatement!" Dr. Thomas scowls.

"Don't let that interfere with what we do best here," Izzie implores her.

Dr. Thomas shakes her head, resignedly. "Fine, I will contact Dr. Riggs and see if we can reschedule for tomorrow morning before they head back to Seattle."

"Thank you," Izzie smiles, hugging her. "I know you won't be sorry."

Dr. Thomas doesn't seem as convinced, but she does concede that she was impressed with Dr. Riggs. Izzie agrees with her as they walk out of the office. If there was a bright spot to her being "thrust" back in the Seattle Grace/Grey-Sloan Memorial cluster, it was that she was looking forward to working with Dr. Riggs and getting to know him better.

 _Juxtaposition of scenes: Dr. Thomas and Izzie part ways as Izzie leaves the Center and Dr. Thomas takes out her phone. Nathan, in his hotel room fresh from the shower, answers his phone, surprise and then relief flooding his face. Alex sitting at a bar, ordering another one. Owen, sitting in a chair in the hotel lobby, pensive._

Izzie, getting in her car, sighs deeply. Her phone on the seat next to her buzzes with another missed call notification. She's had several missed calls from this number already. She leans back in the seat, closing her eyes. "I know I should call you back, but it's better that I don't. I don't know why you're all of a sudden calling me like this ... he probably put you up to it somehow." Her phone buzzes again. She opens her eyes to look at the Caller ID and smiles as she answers.

"Hey Sweetie ... I know, I'm sorry. I had something to do here at the Center, but I'm on my way home now ... How is Shep feeling? ... OK, see you soon ... Love you too."

As she closes her phone and puts the key into the ignition, she lets out another sigh. "I'm doing the right thing, I'm doing the right thing and tomorrow is a new day." She sighs again as she puts the car in drive and pulls out of her spot and out of the parking garage.


	6. Special Author's Note

SPECIAL AUTHOR'S NOTE

So I just realized that I am coming up on the one year anniversary of when I posted the first chapter of my very first ever Fanfiction. I can't believe it - a whole freaking year! Where does the time go? And I want to assure all of you that I have NOT abandoned this story!

I actually have a lot of the character/relationship stuff written out long hand; it's just the medical stuff I have been having trouble with. I know it's only fiction, but I at least want it to be plausible and make sense. I am probably one of the few people who don't watch medical shows for the medical drama, but the relationship stuff. After all, if the characters and relationships don't click, then it doesn't really matter how great or intriguing the medical cases are. Just like I am probably the only person who didn't watch LOST for the island or the sci-fi stuff. It was all about Kate and Jack and Hurley and the other characters for me.

Anyway, I really, REALLY hope that you are all still interested in this story. Aside from struggling with the medical stuff, I have actually had some stuff happen this winter/spring that caused it to fall to the wayside. I lost my cat in a very traumatic way right before Easter and then a very dear friend died two weeks after Easter. On the bright side, my niece is getting married in exactly one month from today! It's after midnight, so it's the 11th already!

I will do my utmost best to have the next chapter up by the end of the day on the 17th, to mark the one-year anniversary. And, yes, I know that's only a week away. Well, less than a week now since it is after midnight. If you could just drop me a line letting me know that I haven't scared you all away with my tardiness, that would be really awesome and might be just what I need to bite the bullet, get the medical stuff written, and post it. Because, as I have said before in my Author Notes, you are all so inspiring. Not just with your reviews, but with your own stories. Reading them really gets my own creative juices flowing. I love reading what you guys think and would love to know what it is you are most interested in finding out about in this story.

So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.


	7. Today Is A New Day

_Today is a new day._ That's what she had told herself all last night. _Why, oh why, didn't I just let them go home? Because it was good for the patient._ Still, as she walked through the door of the coffee bistro, making a beeline for the counter to get her favorite Iced ChocoLatte, a voice made her really wish she had just let Dr. Thomas send them packing.

"Izzie!" Owen calls out, trying to sound surprised.

"Dr. Hunt," she says tightly. Taking note of the couple dollars on the table, she asks hopefully, "Leaving?"

"I was, or am." He pauses. "Maybe."

Izzie eyes him squarely. "Dr. Hunt, let's not pretend this was a chance meeting. Someone obviously told you I usually stop here for coffee."

"Busted," Owen smiles sheepishly. "After Nathan told me about Dr. Thomas rescheduling, I called to thank her and she said you deserved all the credit. She of course wouldn't give me your contact info, but she did tell me you usually stop in here and I just wanted to say thank you."

Izzie shakes her head bemused. "You're welcome."

"So can one old friend buy another old friend a cup of coffee?" he asks as she walks past him to the counter.

"We were never friends, Dr. Hunt."

"Wow, okay," he says taken aback. He had forgotten how blunt she could be. "By extension we were."

"By extension?" she looks at him now.

"Yes, by extension. You and Christina were friends and I was dating Christina, so by extension that made us friends."

Izzie laughs in spite of herself. "Nice try, Dr. Hunt."

"It's one cup of coffee, Izzie. What's the harm in that?"

 _A lot_. But she relents. "Fine, one cup of coffee."

 _ **Meanwhile:**_

"Riggs, what the hell is going on? I called last night to see how the meeting went and you text me 'You REALLY don't want to talk to me right now. TOO PISSED'. What was that all about?" Arizona demands.

Nathan sits on the bed, running a hand through his hair, still very pissed.

"You answered, so I assume that means I REALLY do want to talk to you right now," she tries joking. "Nathan?"

"I'm here," he says finally.

"Okay," she says, "so did they accept the Lawrence case?"

"Meeting's in an hour."

"Oh, so you didn't meet with them yesterday?" she asks confused.

Nathan sighs heavily.

"Riggs, help me out here!"

"I really don't want to get into it right now," Nathan says slowly. "I want to see what happens today and how Drs. Thomas and Stevens want to handle things. The ball is 1,000% in their court."

Arizona just nods, not understanding what could possibly be wrong. "Dr. Thomas is the Patient Intake Coordinator, right? Who's Dr. Stevens?"

"Founder of the Center and Creator of the DAOM System."

"Oh, cool. He was there? Did Alex get to talk to him?"

"She."

"What?"

"Dr. Stevens is a SHE, Dr. Isobel Stevens."

"Oh, well did Alex get to talk to ... " Arizona's voice trails off and Nathan could swear he hears the dots connecting in her head. "Wait a minute, did you say Dr. Is ... Stevens?"

Arizona purses her lips, thinking. "You know there could be more than one Dr. Isobel Stevens. Yeah, so ... " she pauses, realizing where this is headed but desperately hoping it's not, "... so please tell me that this Dr. Stevens isn't a beautiful tall, leggy, blonde?" And when Nathan doesn't answer, "Oh, my god. Okay, at least tell me that Alex didn't do anything stupid?"

 _ **Back at the bistro:**_

Owen sits at the table, his fingers drumming the sides of his coffee cup. He takes in Izzie's demeanor as she sits slightly away from the table, her long legs crossed, nursing her cup of coffee in her lap and it surprises him. The Izzie he knew was an open book, wearing her heart on her lab coat sleeves. This Izzie is like a totally new person.

"Why so formal?" he asks. When Izzie looks up at him, her eyes narrowed in confusion, he explains. "You've called me 'Dr. Hunt' this whole time. We may not have been friends, but we were at least on a first-name basis, so why so formal?"

Izzie blinks a couple times before looking down at her cup. She takes a sip. Looking back up at him, she shrugs, "Sometimes it's just easier that way."

She sighs now. "Look, I just really want to keep things as professional as I can. I hope you can understand that."

Owen nods. "I can, especially after yesterday."

Izzie frowns slightly, remembering yesterday. Again she's kicking herself for not just letting them leave. "You know," she says finally, "today is a new day."

"It is," Owen agrees.

Feeling self-conscience under the constant scrutiny of his eyes, she decides to take control of the conversation. "So how are things in Seattle?"

"Good," Owen nods. "I mean there have been a lot of changes, but good. Bailey's chief now. Callie went to New York, Lexie and Mark, um, I don't know if you know."

"I do," Izzie says softly. "I read about the plane crash. Really tragic. Mark was... Well, he was Mark, but Lexie would have made a great doctor."

"She would have," Owen agrees. They share a moment of quiet for their former colleagues before Owen continues. "Christina went to Switzerland and Derek ..."

"Yeah, I heard." Izzie bites down on her lower lip. "How are Mer and the kids? Zola and Bailey, right?"

"They're doing good and actually it's Zola, Bailey, and Ellie. Meredith found out she was pregnant after Derek died."

Izzie just nods. The silence that falls between them is becoming strained when she suddenly announces, "And one cup of coffee is done," as she takes a final sip and gets up.

Owen gets up as well. "I do hope we will see you at the meeting. I promise Alex will be on his best behavior."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Dr. Hunt," Izzie warns good-naturedly, adding, "I actually have an appointment this morning, but I should make it for part of it."

"I hope so," Owen smiles as he holds open the door for her.

 _ **Meanwhile:**_

"I'm just going to go back to the hotel," Alex says suddenly. He and Nathan had arrived back at the Center and have been perusing the child-friendly decorum in the lobby, waiting on both Owen and Dr. Thomas.

"You can't. We checked out, remember?"

"Right," he sits now resignedly. "Oh and thanks, Riggs, for tattling to Arizona on me."

Nathan shakes his head. "You're lucky that's all I've done to you."

"You know nothing about this Riggs!"

"You're right, Alex, I don't," Nathan softens his tone slightly as he looks over to his colleague now, "but even if I did, I would still be wanting to pummel you."

"I was shocked."

"And so was she, but she still managed to be professional."

Owen arrives. "Everything okay?" he asks, noting the tension.

"Fine" they answer in unison.

Dr. Thomas approaches them. "Gentlemen, why don't we head in," she says, a bit aloofly.

Owen indicates for Nathan to go ahead. "Alex?" he begins, walking in step with him.

"I'm fine," Alex assures him.

Owen nods, giving him a supportive squeeze to his shoulder. Once they are in the conference room and seated, Alex directs his attention to Dr. Thomas. "Dr. Thomas I just want to apologize for yesterday and I thank you for agreeing to see us again."

"I am going to be perfectly honest with you gentlemen, I have serious reservations about this. If it weren't for Dr. Stevens, we would not be meeting today." She looks over to Owen now. "She speaks very highly of you, Dr. Hunt, and of Dr. Robbins."

"I thought Dr. Stevens was going to be here," Nathan says, causing Alex to instinctively tense up.

"She had an appointment, but she will be joining us later," Dr. Thomas explains.

 _Today is a new day._ And Amelia is hell bent on making some headway into Derek's Patient C mystery. She is also determined to find out the Izzie Stevens connection. _If there even is one_. She spent last evening compiling a list of the things she does and doesn't know and, while there is no seeming connection to Izzie, she can't shake the feeling that there is, in fact, one. _But what? I don't actually think Izzie is Derek's elusive Patient C or do I?_ Amelia sighs, massaging her temples. It's too early in the day for a freaking headache and that is what this case has been more than anything else. A. Freaking. Headache.

She pauses in front of the surgical board for a brief distraction before launching forward. She needs to go to Legal, but first she plans to go see Chief Bailey. _Who is this former patient of Derek's that Bailey is worried about? Could it be Patient C? Izzie? I mean the fact that she is even worried about one of Derek's former patients at the same time I'm trying to find out the identity of a former patient of his has to be more than a coincidence. Right?_

"Hey, did you talk to Owen last night?" Meredith asks as she joins her sister-in-law, jarring her out of her thoughts.

"Only briefly. He wasn't in a good mood. When I asked what was wrong, he said only that Alex's 'jack-assness' had returned in spades." Amelia looks over at her. "Is 'jack-assness' even a word?"

Meredith shrugs. "I don't know."

"Hmm, well did you talk to Alex?"

Meredith shakes her head. "I tried him all night and first thing this morning. He never answered or responded to my texts. He always checks in at the end of the night."

"What about Nathan?"

Meredith shrugs. "I called him and he sent a text back saying he wasn't in the mood to talk. I texted back to ask if he knew why Alex wasn't answering his phone and he said Alex is a jackass."

"Well, you know they don't like each other," Amelia offers, adding after a moment, "but it's kind of weird Owen would say more or less the same thing."

"Dr. Shepherd, I need your budget for your department by this afternoon," Chief Bailey says as she approaches the two Attendings. "I have a meeting with Catherine and the Foundation later today. I have all the other departments except yours."

"Right, sorry," Amelia apologizes. "I've been a bit distracted lately."

"Yes, I know."

"You do?" she questions confused.

"Asking me the other day if I see dead people kind of gave me a clue," Bailey states matter-of-factly.

Amelia turns a slight shade of red. "So, budget this afternoon?" Bailey continues.

"This afternoon," Amelia nods.

"Thank you. Oh and Grey, here." She hands Meredith back Derek's phone. "Thank you."

Meredith barely acknowledges getting the phone back as she is staring curiously at Amelia, who, she notes, is avoiding looking back at her.

As Bailey starts to walk away, Amelia stops her. "I was actually wondering if I could have a minute of your time. There's something I want to ask you about."

"Get me your budget and then you can have a minute," the Chief says evenly, walking away.

Dr. Thomas and Nathan have finished discussing the particulars of the case and potential treatment options when Izzie arrives. "Sorry to be so late," she says, as she takes a seat next to Dr. Thomas.

The conversation turns towards bringing Zackary Lawrence in to be evaluated. The team at The Shep Mobility Network needs to examine him, as well as meet with his family, in order to determine if the Center is truly the right fit for them to address his limb deformations and subsequent mobility issues. Alex, though, is lost in his own world as he takes in Izzie's presence. As she moves a lock of hair behind her ear, he can't help but remember her telling Meredith, Christina, and George that once you get to know him he's not such a bad guy. Even though admittedly he didn't give off a good impression with her when they first met.

 **** FLASHBACK ****

 _Alex is drinking a bottle of beer when Izzie approaches and introduces herself at the New Interns Mixer._

 _"What program are you in?" he asks, taking in her 'girl-next-door, pollyanna' attire._

 _"Surgery."_

 _He looks her up and down. "What?" she asks._

 _"Surgery is hardcore."_

 _"I can be hardcore."_

 _He scoffs. "You won't last one year."_

 _He saw her out of the corner of his eye turn away from him, frowning. Because of her looks, he was underestimating her._

 **** END OF FLASHBACK ****

Alex smiles slightly to himself. Though he at the time had felt confident in his assessment of her, he also knew she'd prove him wrong. Clearly he had underestimated her and maybe he still was. After all, they wouldn't be here, at The Shep Mobility Network Center, a Center _SHE_ founded, if it weren't for the reputation it had garnered in its short time. His smile turning to a frown, he suddenly picks up his bag and gets up from the table. He walks over to Owen and whispers something to him.

"Seriously, Karev?" Owen says, looking up at him annoyed. When Alex only shrugs, Owen shakes his head. "Fine."

At that, Owen picks up his notebook and briefcase, gets up, and moves over to Alex's former seat across from Izzie while Alex takes his seat. Dr. Thomas glares over to Izzie, who smiles as reassuringly as she can. Nathan sighs heavily, forcing himself not to look over to Alex.

"So what do you think?" he says trying to draw Dr. Thomas back in.

"I think ... " Dr. Thomas begins.

"I think," Izzie cuts in, placing a reassuring hand on Dr. Thomas's arm, "that we have an opening at the end of the week. If that is not too soon for Grey-Sloan Memorial and Mrs. Lawrence to bring Zackary here. I just think time could be of the essence and the sooner we evaluate him the better. Don't you agree, Dr. Thomas?"

Nathan looks over to Izzie, who gives him a small smile of support, before he too looks over to Dr. Thomas.

"The end of the week ... could work," Dr. Thomas allows finally.

As Nathan lets out a sigh of relief, Izzie looks back to her notebook, her hand brushing against her pen, causing it to roll off the table. Out of the corner of his eye, Owen sees her look down to where it fell. Her posture stiffening, she looks back to Nathan and Dr. Thomas. Slowly he leans down and picks up the pen, placing it in front of her. Pretending to keep his focus on Dr. Thomas, he notices as she looks at the pen for a long moment before glancing up at him, and he allows a slight nod as she mouths "thank you."

"I will get the paperwork in order and can fax it to you, Dr. Riggs, at Grey-Sloan Memorial," says Dr. Thomas.

"We actually have a little time before we need to be at the airport," he says as they stand now, "so I was hoping we could get a tour."

When Dr. Thomas shows clear reluctance, Izzie steps in. "I can give them a tour, Dr. Thomas, while you get the paperwork in order," she assures her.

"So, you wanted a minute," Bailey motions for Amelia to take a seat.

"Yes, thank you, and I am sorry for taking so long to get my budget to you," Amelia begins. "I am trying to locate Izzie Stevens' medical file."

"Stevens' file. Derek ..." Bailey pauses slightly before continuing. "... Derek was ..."

"I know, the lead doctor on the case," Amelia quips frustrated, "but I have looked all over the office and the file is not there. I thought you might have it."

"Well, I don't. Sorry. If that is all ... "

Amelia frowns, realizing she's about to hit another brick wall. She starts to get up, but says suddenly, "Ben said you're worried about a former patient of Derek's," as she sits back down.

"So? I worry about a lot of patients, current and former."

"Yes, I'm sure you do," Amelia nods. _This really shouldn't be so hard_. "It's just that I was wondering why you wouldn't come to me about this."

"Why would I come to you about a former patient of Derek's?"

"Well, because I took over Derek's position and ... "

"That does not automatically make you the doctor of record for his former patients."

"I have treated, successfully I may add, some of his former patients, Katie Bryce being just one example."

"Yes, you have," Bailey agrees. "Some of his patients. Some of his patients have also gone to Dr. Nelson or elsewhere for treatment."

Amelia appears surprised by this. "I ... didn't know that."

Bailey grimaces. From her reaction, she can see that even two years after his death Amelia is still grappling with being the _OTHER_ Dr. Shepherd.

"Dr. Shepherd, I would not take that as a statement about you or your ability. Some patients just feel more comfortable with a male doctor or maybe another hospital just met their needs better," she reassures her.

"As for Derek's former patient, I am simply reaching out to this patient because I am concerned about them for personal reasons. It isn't medically related, but if it becomes so, then I, of course, would bring you, as my Neuro Attending, into it. Okay."

Amelia nods slightly.

"Dr. Shepherd, do you ... " Bailey begins, uncharacteristically hesitant, " ... need some time off?"

"What? No! Why?"

"The other day you asked me if I saw your dead brother out in the Bay," she says carefully. "I, myself, didn't, but I take it you did."

"It's not like that," Amelia quickly assures the chief. "I am fine. Really." Seeing the skepticism on Bailey's face, she adds hastily, "In fact, I should probably get back to work now. Thank you for your time."

She practically runs out of the office before Bailey even has a chance to respond and quickly makes her way to the Ladies Room, where she sags tiredly against the sink.

"Great, now I have my Chief of Staff thinking I'm losing my mind. Thanks a lot for that, Derek! Really thanks a lot!"

Taking a deep breath, she steadies herself. Looking at herself in the mirror, she seems to strengthen her resolve. "I guess I am going to Legal now," she sighs. She freshens up her makeup, fixes her hair, and straightens her coat. "Here goes nothing," she says, nodding confidently to her mirrored image.

 _I am a glutton for punishment. Why can't I ever leave well enough alone?_ She winces a little, feeling a headache coming on. _Why did I agree to give them a tour?_

This, of course, isn't the first time she was unable to leave "well enough" alone. She should have just been happy with the time she and Denny shared, but no, she was bound and determined for him to get his new heart and for them to have their happily ever after. The cutting of the LVAD wire was her brilliant idea. He got the heart, practically ripped out of the chest of its original recipient, but died anyway. She hastened his death and probably caused the original recipient's death too. She doesn't know if he ever got a new heart. That had always been one of her crosses to bear.

"To be perfectly honest, The Shep Mobility Network Center is still a work in progress, which is why we can only accept a limited number of cases. While we aim to provide high quality comprehensive healthcare to children and their families, an in-patient facility was not the initial goal. The goal was to bring the DAOM System to the families, hence the name 'Delivering Acute Orthopedic Mobility System'. The idea was to 'deliver' it to the families who, for a myriad of reasons, cannot get their children to regular PT or OT therapies. In fact, we are in the process of creating a replica of the original system for that sole purpose, but after we created this one we saw there was a great need, not only for a System like this, but a centralized location for families to be able to come and network with each other."

She has started off the tour in the Receiving Area, an airy entryway featuring bountiful modules that represent the colors of the rainbow; the colors corresponding to a specific therapeutic need. A saltwater aquarium takes up one wall. On another wall is a touch-screen offering fun and interactive activities for school-age children. For infants and toddlers, there is a play area with bright, oversized beanbag chairs, interactive plush toys and activity books. Just off the Reception Area is an outdoor, all-abilities playground.

The Center itself sits on fifty plus acres in Covington, Georgia. The spacious, two-story building features a surgical wing, in-patient and outpatient therapies, extended stay living quarters for families, various cognitive therapies, and animal assisted activities. "Our Occupational Therapists work with the patient and their families to create a customized program to address their unique needs and we really strive to provide a comfortable, home-like environment," she continues.

Alex clears his throat now. "So who's Shep?"

He has lingered in the background on the tour, smarting from Dr. Thomas's statement earlier that morning that Izzie "thinks very highly of you, Dr. Hunt, and Dr. Robbins." He's just as good of a doctor as anyone else here. Arizona wouldn't have asked him to come on this trip if she didn't think he was. She sent him to do a job - to gather more information about the Center - and he's going to do it.

"I had assumed Shep was the name of the Founder," he continues, "which we, um, now know is not the case."

"Shep is ... " she begins. _It's a natural question, Izzie._ "He's the catalyst and inspiration for the DAOM System and this Center. He was born with severe limb deformities and his mother spent her whole pregnancy looking for and researching home-based therapy solutions and not finding any that met her specific needs."

"Why did you establish the Center in Georgia?" Owen asks now. He has so many questions and since he senses Izzie isn't going to be volunteering information he needs to start somewhere. "I mean, you're from Washington State originally right, so why did you chose the state of Georgia for the center's location?"

Izzie shrugs. "The location just worked for us." Wanting to redirect the discussion, she smiles and suggests they head to the Observatory.

"Can I ask how you came up with the name Delivering Acute Orthopedic Mobility System?" Owen continues, once they are in the elevator to go to the second floor.

"Actually the name fit the letters D, A, O, M ... and S."

Owen lets out a frustrated sigh at her rather vague, one-sentence responses. They have arrived on the second floor and are about to enter the Observatory when he asks, "Do those letters have any particular significance?"

He notices the muscles in her back stiffen before she turns to face him. Her eyes are clouded over with ... anger? sadness? Truthfully he's not sure, but it's enough to make him backtrack. "I'm ... not trying to pry."

"It's not a big deal," she says finally, even if her voice has an uncertain tone to it, "and it's a natural question."

 _Even if I don't really want to answer it._ She looks hesitantly among Owen, Alex, and Nathan, the latter of whom notices her wrapping her arms around her waist, much the same way she did yesterday when she entered the conference room and saw Alex and Owen there. He clears his throat to get her attention. When she looks over at him, he gives her an encouraging nod. She sighs, visibly relaxing.

"I think Dr. Thomas mentioned this was a 'labor of love' for me. Well, when you're in labor you're 'delivering something', usually a baby," she blinks away tears that have sprung to her eyes, "and, well, D-A-O-M are the initials of the baby I lost."

Alex's eyes widen in surprise as sympathy reflects in Nathan's and Owen's. "Oh, gosh, Izzie ... " Owen starts.

"No, please don't!" She holds her hand up, motioning for them to follow her into the Observatory. "I'm fine and he lives on everyday through the DAOM System and this Center. D-A-O-M, Denny Alexander O'Malley. He was born prematurely and died."

"That's quite a name," Nathan says softly.

"If I recall correctly, Denny was your fiance who died and I take it O'Malley is for George," says Owen. It's both question and statement. He looks briefly over to Alex before adding for Nathan's benefit, "George would be Dr. George O'Malley. He was in the same group of interns as Izzie, Alex, Meredith, and Christina. He died in a tragic accident."

Izzie takes a deep breath to settle herself. She turns to the open floor-length windows that look over the therapy/rehabilitation room and begins to discuss the specifics of the DAOM System, effectively letting the other doctors know it's back to business.

"The DAOM System is actually many different things. It's an adjustable anterior roller, walker, and scooter rolled into one easy-to-use, eco-friendly mobility system." She points down into the room. "See how the PT is adjusting it to conform to the patient? The adjustments make it ideal for exercise, strength-training, and rehabilitation. It was created to adapt to the child at their different stages of development." She now takes out her tablet and pulls up a video, pausing it as it transitions to each level of PT. "For instance, it has a height adjustable crawler that promotes crawling movements when the child needs added body support. When they are past that phase, we can take that off and add a height adjustable T-stool leg attachment. When they are ready to start or resume walking, there are arms that open up and act as a walker for posterior safety. We attach rollers to them and they support the user from behind requiring them to procure a more upright posture and it also promotes trunk extension."

"If there is a downside to this, it is that we only have, currently, one such System and, honestly, it was never intended for general use. It was created for one person in mind and to be used as an in-home physical and occupational therapy system for him. As a result, we can only ever really have one person in that kind of intense therapy at a time. But as you all know there are different benchmarks patients need to achieve before they are ready for this level of rehabilitation, so we really try to plan out their treatment plans accordingly."

She sighs, looking back down at the therapist and patient. "When I drew up the plans for the DAOM System, I had no idea of the magnitude of need there was for something like this, nor could I have imagined the support it would receive from the medical community."

"How did you come up with the different components?" Nathan queries.

"We actually contacted doctors throughout the country who specialize in working with children and their development to get their input as to what they saw as the biggest need facing children with limb deformities. Keeping in mind the initial premise and needs of the original patient, we took stock of those suggestions and put together a comprehensive system in which pieces can be added, removed, or adapted to accommodate a child's growth or ability. The initial concept was that this was going to be a mobile system, taken _TO THE CHILD_. That was the whole reason for it, to help a child whose family was strapped and going out for rehab or therapy was not realistically feasible, but once we put it in motion, we saw there was a need for a centralized location not just to address these kids' needs but the needs of the family as well."

"Hmm," Alex grunts, causing Izzie to raise her eyebrows.

"Dr. Karev, do you have a question?"

"No," Alex shakes his head, "but I think it's interesting you didn't contact Grey-Sloan Memorial for our input. I also think it's interesting you named it for two dead men, one of whom you helped kill."

"Alex!" Owen sharply admonishes as Izzie pales and Nathan stands wide-eyed, stunned.

"It's okay, Dr. Hunt." She rebounds quickly. "It's true. Actions I took as an intern may have facilitated the death of not only Denny, but another transplant patient. It's my cross to bear. Since then I have tried very hard to live by the "Do No Harm" oath we took, though, of course, at the time doing harm was never my intention."

Izzie sighs deeply now before focusing her gaze directly on Alex. "I certainly don't want to turn this into a tit for tat thing, Dr. Karev, but considering you are currently on suspension for beating another doctor within an inch of his life I hardly think you are in a position to judge. Or does the whole 'Do No Harm' thing only apply in the confines of the hospital? And by the way, if I were all of you," she gestures around the room, "I would be really glad that Dr. Thomas does not know about that."

The Observatory becomes so silent you could hear a pin drop. A red-faced Alex is glaring at Izzie, who simply smirks back at him, as Owen and Nathan exchange "Crap, what the hell do we do now?" looks.

"Dr. Stevens, I'm sorry. We ... Well ..." Owen shakes his head at a total loss. "Yes, Alex is on suspension. Dr. Robbins asked that he come along to gather more information about the place, which he is certainly permitted to do, but, for the record, his being here is not sanctioned by the hospital. I don't think Chief Bailey even knows he's here."

"I know she doesn't," she replies, never taking her focus off Alex. "She would have told me if Alex was coming and all of this could have been avoided because I would never have attended the meeting had I known. As for your statement about my not contacting the hospital for their input on the DAOM System, Dr. Karev, you're both right and wrong. I personally did not contact Grey-Sloan, but another member of the team did. In fact, it was Dr. Robbins who suggested the T-stool Leg attachment, for which she is recognized in the brochure you obviously didn't bother reading."

Alex is still glaring at Izzie. He starts to say something, but ... "Not another word!" Owen warns sharply. "Outside! Now!"

Though Owen has drug Alex out, it doesn't alleviate the tension in the Observatory. Izzie drops her face in her hands, clearly embarrassed.

"Well, I am impressed, Dr. Stevens, and I'm sure your former colleagues in Seattle will be as well," Nathan comments. He had hoped to make her feel better, but notices her tense at the mention of Seattle.

Though all she wants to do is find a rock and crawl under it, she nevertheless meets Nathan's gaze. "I am so sorry to put you in the middle of this drama with Alex. I should have stuck to my original plan, which was not to attend the meeting yesterday. I mean it doesn't matter that I didn't know he was coming, I hadn't planned on being there, so I'm very, very sorry for all this, ugh, unpleasantness."

"Well, I'm not sorry," Nathan insists. "Otherwise I would not have had the pleasure of meeting you or have this incredible opportunity to work with you."

"You say that now," Izzie quips under her breath.

"Can I ask," Nathan says hesitantly, "what happened between you and Alex?"

Izzie shrugs. "I was dying of cancer and Derek and Meredith gave up their church wedding for us. It was really beautiful."

"So what happened?"

"I lived."

Seeing Nathan's confused look, Izzie explains sadly, "No one thought I was going to live. The odds were against me and, truthfully, Alex and I weren't ready for marriage. We had been off and on for years and had only really started to get serious a few months before we knew I was sick."

Izzie becomes really quiet now and Nathan shifts slightly, not sure what to do. She looks up at him, her eyes glassed over.

"Have you ever stared death right in the face, Dr. Riggs?"

Nathan nods before explaining, "I served with Owen in Iraq."

"Do you ever wonder why you lived and someone else didn't? Why you got a second chance at life and someone else didn't?"

Nathan swallows thickly. "All the time."

"I shouldn't have lived. I had a survival rate of five percent. I signed a DNR. I coded and actually died. For two minutes and six seconds, I was dead. I couldn't understand it. Why did I live when I had no real purpose and George, who had just joined the Army, was hit by a bus and died? Why did I get a second chance when Denny, who had waited his whole life for a new heart, had finally gotten it and had a real chance at living but died when a blood clot formed and he suffered a stroke? It didn't make sense. I couldn't figure it out. Both when I first recovered and when I left Seattle. Why did I live and not Denny or George? I finally decided that I wasn't supposed to live, that they were wrong to ignore the DNR, so I was going to right the wrong and kill myself."

Izzie remains still, her voice thick with emotion, her face clouding as the memory seems to overtake her. Nathan starts to move his hand towards her, but then thinks better of it.

"I had it all figured out. I was living in Eugene, Oregon, going by a different name, working the evening shift at a Restaurant and Bar. I wasn't close to anybody. I mean I had a pesky neighbor that kept coming by, but nobody was going to miss me. I waited until I had a long weekend off and made sure my neighbor wouldn't be by until I was good and dead. Took a whole bunch of pills, not even sure how many, and as I felt myself falling into a deep slumber, I could feel myself separating from my body and all the hurt and anger and confusion just left me. It was like I was in a suspended state above my body, nothing but peace enveloping me. Honestly, I think I could have stayed like that forever."

Nathan blinks back tears. "What happened?" he asks, his voice raspy with unexpected emotion.

Izzie snorts now, coming out of her seeming trance. "I woke up two days later."

"Your ... " Nathan begins. He pauses trying to steady his voice. "Your pesky neighbor came by earlier than she was supposed to?"

"No, worse."

Seeing Nathan's confusion, she sighs deeply before explaining, "Bailey made Derek come to Oregon to find me. I hadn't talked to anyone in Seattle in months, had changed my cell phone number and email address, so what were the freaking odds he'd show up just then and save my life."

After a slight pause, she continues. "I knew then I wasn't supposed to die, but why? I still couldn't figure that out. First I thought it was to get back with my daughter, but that wasn't it. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to pieces and I'm so happy to have had this time with her, but she didn't need me. She would have been fine without me. So what was it? Now I know. This Center. Creating the DAOM System and establishing this Center was the reason."

"Seems to be a great reason to me," Nathan says softly, assuring her, "You should be really proud of what you've accomplished here."

"I am," Izzie smiles wistfully, "but that's the irony of it all. Now that I know why I didn't die before, now that I know my purpose and want to live, I know ... "

The door to the Observatory opens, halting Izzie mid-sentence. "Dr. Thomas has the paperwork ready and would like us back in the conference room," announces Owen.

"It's very impressive what you have done here, Dr. Stevens," Owen states as they reenter the conference room. With the ugly exchange between Alex and Izzie in the Observatory hanging over them, the tension is thick.

"Thank you, Dr. Hunt, but we're not done," Izzie replies, now refocused. "We have a three-year expansion plan in the works. Right now we can only accommodate 25 in-patient cases. We hope to increase that by 25 each year to 100. We're in the process of securing grant monies and investors now."

"Dr. Thomas said that you pretty much funded this whole thing using your own money," Owen continues. "Do you mind my asking how you managed that?"

"No, not at all. I cashed in one of my investment funds from my modeling days."

"You modeled?" Owen queries surprised.

"That's not a surprise to me," Nathan smirks, causing Izzie's cheeks to blush.

"It's how I paid for medical school," she acknowledges, "and, actually, Dr. Hunt I'm surprised you didn't know that." When he gives her a look as to say 'why would I know that?', she continues. "You mean Christina never told you the story of how Alex plastered my Blair Whisper ads all over the hospital?"

Alex squirms uneasily as Hunt and Riggs give him the side eye. "Well you know I was a bit of a jackass back then."

"Back then?" Nathan asks, looking at him now. "You mean you aren't still?"

Izzie chuckles to herself as Alex glares at Nathan. "I like you, Dr. Riggs," she says brightly.

"The feeling is definitely mutual, Dr. Stevens!" Nathan smiles back at her.

Dr. Thomas comes in with the paperwork. "Before we sign off on this contract, I do have a couple of conditions that need to be met," she says.

"We will agree to whatever terms you have," Nathan assures her.

"Thank you, Dr. Riggs. First and foremost," she begins, "Dr. Karev is not permitted back in this facility. If I have to get a restraining order, I will."

Alex looks away, properly admonished for his less than professional behavior. He briefly looks at Izzie, but sees she's distracted by a text that has come in on her phone. She whispers something to Dr. Thomas and excuses herself.

"That won't be a problem," Nathan assures her. "As I said before, Dr. Karev is not actually involved in this case."

"Good. Second, unless it's a doctor involved with this case, I don't want any other doctors from Seattle coming here unless cleared by myself or Dr. Stevens in advance."

"Done!" Nathan again assures her, turning to Owen for confirmation. "Right?"

"Yeah, I don't see why that should be a problem," Owen agrees, "but there might be people there who know Izzie who would be interested in seeing this place, as well as her."

"And that is certainly understandable," Dr. Thomas allows. "I just ask that out of respect for Dr. Stevens, we are given proper notification and proper channels are followed."

Nathan and Owen both nod in agreement.

"And I suppose now would be a good time for me to inform you that I have sent an email to your Chief of Staff and copied Dr. Robbins on it outlining Dr. Karev's outrageous behavior," Dr. Thomas advises, "but, as promised, I have signed the Contract. All it needs is your signature Dr. Riggs."

"Great, thank you," Nathan says nervously. He takes the document and signs on the dotted line but not before throwing Owen a 'we are so screwed' look, to which Owen can only shrug in response.

Izzie comes back. "Everything okay?"

"I think everything is fine," Dr. Thomas assures her, turning to the three doctors across from her. "Do we understand each other gentlemen?"

Nathan turns to both Owen and Alex, who nod in agreement. "We do," he smiles wanly, knowing the flack now awaiting them at home.

"Gentlemen, I have to go," Izzie says, offering them a genuinely sincere goodbye. "Dr. Riggs, I look forward to working with you. Dr. Hunt, it was nice to see you again. Please give my best to everyone in Seattle, and Dr. Karev ... Alex, it was good to see you. Have a safe flight home."

"Dr. Stevens, can I walk you out? I wanted to ask you something." Nathan says quickly.

"Certainly."

Outside the door, he pauses awkwardly. "Before in the Observatory, you were saying something about knowing this was your purpose for living. You started to say something to the effect that now that you knew what your purpose was, you knew ... and then Owen came in. You didn't get to finish. What is it that you know?"

Izzie shakes her head. "I'm sorry I don't remember. It must have been something in that moment and now that I'm out of it ... I don't know. Sorry."

"No worries," he smiles warmly at her. "I meant what I said. I'm really glad I got to meet you and I'm looking forward to working with you."

Izzie nods slightly in response. "I have to go."

Nathan reenters the conference room in time to hear Dr. Thomas asking Owen to have a quick word with him. "Alex and I will wait in the Reception Area," he smiles, despite feeling apprehensive about it. What could she possibly want to talk to Owen about in private?

"I hope you know that my reservations have nothing to do with Grey-Sloan Memorial as a whole," Dr. Thomas says once they're alone. "I know it's a very good hospital whose reputation stands on its own."

"I do," he assures her.

She pauses briefly before continuing. "So you're married to Derek Shepherd's sister right? She's a neurosurgeon as well, right? Is she as good as her brother was?"

"Yes, yes, and yes," Owen laughs, confused by the questions. "Did you know Derek?"

"Mostly by professional reputation. I only met him that one time he came here to give us the check. Very tragic what happened. Definitely a loss for the medical community."

"It was," Owen agrees. "You said he gave you a check. For what?"

"I think I mentioned there were a handful of $1 million dollar investors. Dr. Shepherd was one of those investors."

Dr. Thomas's pager goes off as they head out of the conference room. "Well, I have to go. Have a safe trip home, Dr. Hunt."

Owen is still absorbing this information when Nathan approaches him. "Hey, you ready. We're just going to make it to the airport on time for our flight."

"No, yeah, let's go home," he agrees.

Dr. Thomas, meanwhile, approaches Izzie down the hall. "Is Shep in therapy now?" she asks.

"Yes, I'm going to go up and watch from the Observatory," Izzie smiles wearily. "It's been a long day."

Inside the Observatory, Izzie smiles as she watches Shep with his PT. She glances around the room, remembering the ugly exchange that took place there not too long ago and hears Nathan's voice in her head, 'You started to say something to the effect that now that you knew what your purpose was, you knew ... What is it that you know?'

Izzie looks back down at Shep, a squirrelly blonde-haired limbless little boy. Tears spill out of her eyes as she says softly to herself, "I know I'm going to die."


	8. FB: Until We See Each Other Again

**A/N: SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATERIAL. MAIN CHARACTERS BELONG TO SHONDA RIMES.**

 _An hour into the drive, Derek began to wonder if he was doing the right thing. 'I should just turn the car around.' He shook the thought from his head. 'I'll never hear the end of it if I do that.' And with that thought, his phone rings. "Afraid I've changed my mind about going?"_

 _"You haven't, have you?" Bailey asks anxiously._

 _"And have you on my case, I don't think so."_

 _Bailey rolls her eyes. "Just think of the good that will come of this."_

 _Derek sighs heavily, not wanting to rehash this again. "Why are you even calling?"_

 _"One, I wanted to let you know I texted you a picture of MAGIC, you know, in case you need to show her picture ... "_

 _"Who or what is that?" he asks and when she says Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie, and Christina aka MAGIC, he can't help laughing. "I think this might be the first time I've heard you actually call all of them by their first names."_

 _"And TWO, I want to know what the plan is for finding Izzie. That is why you're going to Oregon after all."_

 _"Oh, I am very aware of why I'm going, and there is no plan. I'm going to Dr. Newton's office to see if they will either call her into the office or tell me where I can find her."_

 _"What if she won't come into the office or they won't tell you where she is?"_

 _"Then you are shit out of luck, Bailey!"_

 _"Shepherd!"_

 _"Bailey," he sighs, "I have at least three-and-a-half more hours of driving, then I plan to find a Rest Stop to try and get some rest. Newton's office doesn't open until 9:30, so let's just wait to see what happens when I talk to him."_

 _Bailey exhales slowly. "Fine!" she says begrudgingly._

 _He shakes his head. He knows she's worried about Izzie beyond the matter necessitating the need to find her. "I promise you I'm going to do all I can to track down Izzie, but I think you need to be prepared for the possibility she just might not want to be found."_

 _"I know." she sighs._

 _ **DAY ONE:**_

 _At 9:30, he walks into Dr. Russ Newton's office. He knows the doctor only by reputation. Newton's staff had assured him he would meet with him between patients and, within twenty minutes, the doctor had come out to the waiting room to greet him and lead him back to his office. "How well do you know Izzie?" he asked as he took a seat at his desk and motioned for him to sit as well._

 _"Pretty well. Yes, she was a patient, but she was also a colleague who worked on my service quite often. Plus she and my wife are good friends."_

 _Newton nods. He's about ten years older, with a serious but contemplative nature. Derek can tell that he's inwardly debating where to take this conversation, so he decides to cut to the chase. "Is she sick again?" he asks._

 _"I don't think she is."_

 _Derek blinks a couple of times. That is not the answer he was expecting. "What the hell does that mean?" While he had not previously shared Bailey's concern for Izzie, now he wonders if she, in fact, had reason to be concerned._

 _"It means she has blown off her last two appointments with me."_

 _"Why would she do that?"_

 _"Because I suggested she seek counseling. While she was doing well medically, gradually her mental state seemed to be deteriorating. I could see her becoming depressed." The doctor sighs heavily. "She stormed out of our last session and I haven't seen or heard from her since."_

 _"How long ago was that?"_

 _"Almost two months."_

 _"And no one has done a well-being check on her?" Derek asks incredulously._

 _"When she was a no-show for our first scheduled appointment after that, I had my nurse, Regina, go to her house when we couldn't reach her by phone. She said she had been sick with the flu and just forgot. We rescheduled, but she blew that one off too. We called her, but never heard back. While she may have seemed depressed, she certainly didn't appear suicidal."_

 _"If you don't think she's suicidal, why send a nurse to her place after a missed appointment?"_

 _"Dr. Shepherd, you said you knew Izzie before she even was your patient, both professionally and personally. I only know her from the time we have spent together in this office and, while I could see her mental state was declining, it's really not that unusual with what she's been through. I saw it as a delayed reaction to her illness and thought she could benefit from counseling." He pauses. "I sent Regina to check on her after the first missed appointment mainly due to how our last session ended. In hindsight, springing Dr. Levins, a psychiatrist here in this building, on her probably wasn't the smartest way to go about it. Regina said she felt I had overstepped and Izzie might not feel comfortable coming back here because of it, so I wanted to reach out to her."_

 _When Derek nods his understanding, he continues. "When you called here looking for her, we called her and left your message on her answering machine. After the third time you called, Regina went to her house to give her the message in person. When she didn't answer the door, Regina called me and asked what she should do. Like I said, I have no reason to believe she's suicidal, so I told Regina to leave the message taped to the door. The next morning, she stopped back off at Izzie's on her way in. Again, Izzie didn't answer, but the message she had left taped to the door was gone. I called Izzie and left a message that when she was ready to resume her appointments to just call the office. Regina and I figured we'd hear from her when she needs a medication refill at the end of this month."_

 _ **10:45 AM**_

 _"Izzie!" Derek pounds on the door. He has been knocking several minutes when he sees a woman approaching the townhouse next-door. "Excuse me, do you know the woman who lives here?"_

 _"Yes, I know Cricket." The woman looks at her watch. "She's probably asleep."_

 _Derek approaches the dark-haired woman and her Chihuahua. "I don't know anyone named Cricket. I'm looking for my friend Izzie Stevens, I was given this address for her."_

 _"Her last name is Stevens," the woman replies as she picks up the tiny dog, "but her name isn't Izzie."_

 _Derek runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "You seem pretty certain she's home."_

 _"That's her car over there." The woman points to a blue Honda. "She usually sleeps until about noon, especially after working the night shift."_

 _"Where does she work?"_

 _"At the Restaurant and Bar in town." The Chihuahua is getting antsy. "It's okay, Copper. We'll go in now."_

 _"Could you hold on?" He pulls out his phone and pushes a few buttons. He shows her the picture Bailey texted him. "The blonde on the end, are we talking about the same woman?"_

 _"Yeah, that's Cricket."_

 _"Alright. Well, thank you." He looks at his watch. "I guess I'll go grab a bite to eat and come back. Maybe she'll be up by then."_

 _"I don't know what time she's leaving, so you might not want to take too long," the woman says as she opens her door._

 _"She's leaving? Where is she going?"_

 _"She didn't say. Just asked if I would take Doc."_

 _Derek smiles at the memory of the dog the name triggers, but quickly realizes this Doc isn't the same. "Who's Doc?"_

 _"Her parakeet," the woman replies._

 _ **11:20 AM TO 2:30 PM**_

 _"Cricket? What kind of name is Cricket anyway?" He's in his car, parked in front of Izzie's townhouse. Bailey starts to reply, but he cuts her off. "And why is she working at a Restaurant and Bar? And where is she going that she can't take her bird with her?"_

 _Bailey waits for him to take a breath before attempting a reply this time. "Questions two and three, I don't know, but your first question I do know the answer to that. It's a nickname. Her mother called her Cricket growing up."_

 _"Really, I didn't know that. How do you know that?"_

 _"When Izzie was first hospitalized, she came to see her. She apparently still calls her that. Izzie hates the name, so I'm surprised she's using it."_

 _"Something's wrong, Bailey. None of this makes any sense." At that moment, he sees the neighbor come outside. As she walks to her car, she pauses in front of Izzie's house, pulls an envelope from her bag, and places it inside Izzie's mailbox and puts the flag up. "Huh, the neighbor just placed something in Izzie's mailbox to be picked up by the postman."_

 _"So?"_

 _"So, why wouldn't Izzie have put it there herself when she got home? Or why didn't she put it in the mailbox before she left for work?"_

 _"Shepherd, what's the big deal? Haven't you ever asked someone to mail something for you?"_

 _"The big deal is there is something wrong! I'm telling you, Bailey, something is wrong!" he snaps. "I'm going to check this out. I'll call you back!"_

 _Before Bailey can respond, Derek has hung up and jumped out of his car. He goes up to the mailbox and opens it, pulling out the large manila envelope the neighbor had just placed inside. It's addressed "Dr. Miranda Bailey, care of Seattle Grace Memorial Hospital." Derek looks briefly towards the house before turning back to the envelope and ripping it open. Several smaller envelopes fall out as he pulls out and skims the handwritten letter. Dropping the envelope, he rushes to the front door._

 _"Izzie!" He pounds on door. "Izzie, it's Derek, and I'm not leaving until you open the door! Izzie!" He steps away from the door, looking around frantically for a spare key. He goes around the side and sees the patio door. It's locked, but he finds a hanging plant pot to smash against it. He kicks in the shattered glass, then uses his pocketknife to cut through the screen to get inside. "Izzie!" he calls out, quickly going room to room._

 _"Izzie! Izzie! Izzie!"_

 _Derek jumps. "You must be Doc," he says, eyeing the parakeet flapping his wings in a cage off of the dining room. Deciding to deal with the bird later, he hurries upstairs, calling her name with every door he opens. He finally finds her in the bedroom at the far end of the hallway._

 _Trepidation in his voice, he softly calls out, "Izzie?" He feels along the wall for the light switch and enters the room. As he approaches the bed, he catches sight of the slew of pill bottles on the night-table. Slowly, he places his hand against her neck, then, inhaling sharply, slumps backwards, against the edge of the table. "Oh my god, I'm too late." His face paling, he looks down at the bottles. Hesitantly, he picks up a couple, scanning the labels. "Holy crap, Izzie!" He checks her wrist, which hangs limply in his hand. Still no pulse, but ..._

 _"You're still pretty warm, so you couldn't have stopped breathing all that long ago." The doctor in him emerging, he pulls the pillow out from behind her and kneeling over her begins CPR. "Come on, come on!" he says desperately between chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Finally, he discerns a slight pulse. "Oh, thank god!" Quickly pulling her up, he carries her into the master bathroom and into the shower. He sits on the edge of the tub, supporting her practically lifeless body, as he lets the water from the shower run. As the water runs down over her, he uses his free hand to pull out his phone._

 _"Derek Shepherd! It's been a long time."_

 _"Yeah, hi Phil. Sorry but this is not a social call. I'm at 21 Feheley Drive, trying to revive a friend who has attempted suicide. She's taken a boatload of pills."_

 _"Do you want me to dispatch ... "_

 _"No! For a variety of reasons, I'd like to avoid that if possible. I was wondering if you'd be willing to ... "_

 _"Say no more. I was about to grab lunch, so I'll get what I need and be there very shortly."_

 _In the time it takes Dr. Phil Johnson to get to Izzie's house, Derek has gotten her dried off, changed into warm clothes, and laid her back in bed. He had kept the shower going for a good five minutes and only let up when he heard her gasp after water filled up in her mouth. She hasn't regained consciousness and her breathing is shallow, but her pulse is steady. As he sits on the edge of the bed watching her, he pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts to K. Shay. "Hey. I know we haven't talked in awhile, but I could really use your help. Please call me back as soon as you can."_

 _Once Phil arrives, he gets to work examining her. Meanwhile, Derek runs out to his car, grabs his duffle bag, and uses the hall bathroom to strip out of his wet clothes, dry off, and change. Crouching down to the floor, he takes several deep breaths to steady himself. He pulls out his phone and looks at the picture. "Why Izzie? Why?" He traces his thumb over Mer's picture before hitting the '1' on his keypad. "Hey," he smiles as he lowers himself all the way down to the floor._

 _"Hey yourself, I thought you'd be in meetings all day. Everything okay?"_

 _"Yeah. Just missing my wife."_

 _"Awe, that's sweet."_

 _"I was actually looking at an old picture of you, Izzie, Alex, George, and Christina. You guys were so young then, so ready to take on the world."_

 _"I'm pretty sure I know what picture you're talking about. Where in the world did you see that?"_

 _"I have it on my phone."_

 _"You do? I didn't know that." Though perplexed, Meredith can't help smiling, which soon wanes. "That was a long time ago. A lot has happened since then. George died, Izzie is God knows where ... "_

 _"You almost drowned."_

 _"And you got shot at point blank range." Hearing him sigh, she steps away from the Nurse's Station. "Derek, what is it? What's wrong?"_

 _Derek hears a rap at the door. "Be right there," he calls out, as he lifts himself off the floor. "I have to go. I love you, Mer."_

 _"I love you too. What time do you think I'll see you on Friday?"_

 _"Friday?" he repeats blankly, causing Meredith to realize, "You're not going to be home on Friday?"_

 _"I really need to go right now, but, no, I won't be home Friday. I'll call you later."_

 _"Sorry, but I need to get back to the hospital," Phil says as he emerges from the bathroom._

 _"No problem, I should be apologizing to you for leaving you hanging like that. I just really needed to hear my wife's voice."_

 _They reenter Izzie's room. "You put in two IVs?"_

 _"Shep, did you get a look at those pill bottles? This wasn't an accidental overdose, she meant to kill herself. She really should be in the hospital. Her pulse is strong right now, but we really have no way of knowing how much she ingested or how long she was out. Even with two IVs, I can't guarantee that it will be enough to flush her system. She could still die. And if she doesn't die, she's going to need professional help."_

 _"I know." Derek sits in the chair closest to the bed. "I have a call into someone for some guidance on that front."_

 _"So you really don't want to bring her to the hospital?"_

 _"Right now, no."_

 _"Alright, I'll do it your way. I'll be back in the morning with breakfast and to check on her. Page me if she takes a turn."_

 _Once he's heard the front door close, Derek pulls out his phone and redials K. Shay's number. "Seriously," he pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at the screen, "you blocked my number?" He runs his hand across his forehead. "Fine, I'll just call your office. ... Do I even have that number?" He sighs heavily. "You know what, she's not awake yet and I'm too tired to deal with this BS. Besides," he looks over at Izzie now, "I have to call Bailey." He shakes his head. "That's going to be a fun phone call."_

 _ **7:30 PM**_

 _Dear Dr. Bailey, by the time you receive this, you will have already been notified of my passing or, depending on when my neighbor placed this in my mailbox, getting it before that. Regardless of which came first, consider this letter goodbye. I have died and not from the cancer, but from the most lethal drug cocktail I could put together. That's right, Bailey, I have taken my own life and I need you to help everyone else understand why. Believe me, this was not a decision I reached lightly, and I am looking forward to being on the Other Side. I'll see George again. I'll be with Denny. I'll get to look after Alex and Hannah in a way I can't here on Earth. And I will be at peace. All the questions that have plagued me since I woke up only to learn George was on life support will be no more. I will be free, I will be happy. I truly believe this. But I know that just because I will be happy not everyone will be happy for me, especially since to achieve this level of peace and happiness it involved me taking my own life. I have written everyone letters to say goodbye and thank them for being a part of my life. Without them and especially without you, Bailey, I would not have become the doctor/person that I became. You gave me a second chance after my harebrained idea of cutting Denny's LVAD wire. I realize now how stupid and dangerous that was, but at the time it was the only way I knew to try and save him. The Chief and you didn't have to accept me back into the program, but you did and I'm so grateful. I cannot thank you both enough for the love, support, and guidance you gave me through it all to become the doctor I did. I know you hate it when we get all mushy on you, Bailey, but I love you. You were my resident, my teacher, my friend, and, in a lot of ways, my mom. You might be wondering if I would have chosen this path for myself if I was still in Seattle and it's something I have actually wondered myself. You know, when I found out about George, I felt so much guilt that he had died. I tried talking to Alex about it, but he didn't want to hear it. Christina was too wrapped up in helping Owen with his PTSD, and Meredith just wanted to focus on being a newlywed. She was actually happy for a change, I didn't want to bring her down. Honestly, everyone seemed to just want to move on and I tried to. I really did. Yes, I believe I would have ended up at this very same place even if I had stayed in Seattle and that's why I am at peace with my decision, and that's what you need to get everyone to see for me, Bailey. Until we see each other again, and I know one day we will, all my love, Izzie._

 _"Bailey?" Derek winces at her sobbing on the other end. He had waited until he knew she was off-duty and at home before calling. "Bailey?"_

 _"I need ... a minute ... Shepherd," she manages between breaths. "I'll call you back."_

 _Sighing heavily, he wipes a hand across his own moist eyes as he sorts through the other envelopes: Mom, Hannah c/o Mr. and Mrs. Kline, Alex, Meredith, Christina, Chief Webber, Mrs. O'Malley, Lexie, Callie, Addison, Owen, Dr. Newton, Derek. Picking up the one addressed to him, he turns it over in his hand several times before placing it back on the table, unopened. He lets his body sag into the couch as his phone rings._

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"No, but I will be," her voice is resolute, "and so will she. I will get a flight out as soon as I can."_

 _"No you won't."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Bailey, there's nothing to be done right now. We don't even know if she's going to wake up, so what is the point of you coming here?"_

 _"We can't leave her by herself."_

 _"She's not. I'm here."_

 _"You're staying? What about your meeting in D.C.? And, by the way, I heard your wife grumbling to the Chief earlier about you not being home on Friday. You did your part, Shepherd, so now I will do mine. I will come there and stay with Izzie, so you can come home."_

 _"I can't leave. I found her. I need to know she's going to be okay. I'll call Washington in the morning and figure out something about the meeting."_

 _"And your wife?"_

 _"I don't know. I'll come up with something. I'd tell her, but I don't think that's a good idea. I mean we don't know if she's going to make it."_

 _"She's going to make it!" Bailey states emphatically, adding apologetically, "I know I dragged you into this, Shepherd ... I just never thought ..."_

 _"Bailey, it's fine. Yes, you dragged me into this and then evil-eyed me into leaving early to come to Oregon, and, believe me, I will throw you under the bus to Mer when the time comes, but for now it is what it is. I'm here, I'm involved. Okay?"_

 _"Okay."_

 _"It's been a long day, and I still have to call Mer back, and then I am sacking out on the chair in Izzie's room in case she wakes up or crashes. I'll call you tomorrow."_

 _ **DAY TWO:**_

 _"Have you been in the kitchen yet?" Phil Johnson asks as he emerges from there with a couple takeout containers._

 _"No, I had packed an icebox of food and drinks, so I've just been using that. It feels kind of morbid to make myself at home, and she left everything that was needed for Doc on the dining room table."_

 _"She made muffins for the First Responders," Phil says incredulously. "She left a note: 'Sorry you had to come out for this. Please enjoy some homemade bread and muffins as a sign of my appreciation.'"_

 _Derek can't help but laugh, especially as he remembers Izzie coming into Joe's with baskets of homemade muffins she made after Denny died. "Yeah, that's Izzie for you."_

 _Derek fills Phil in a little about how and why he ended up at Izzie's door in time to save her life. "If Izzie makes it, I'm hoping she'll come back to Seattle with me. There are a lot of people there who care about her and would help her through this." A period of silence ensues as they eat. "Do you think she'll make it?"_

 _Phil shrugs. "It's a good sign she hasn't stopped breathing again since you revived her, but her waking up could take awhile, if ... "_

 _"If she wakes up at all," Derek finishes for him._

 _ **DAY THREE:**_

 _Slowly, Izzie's eyes flutter open. She stares at the ceiling, trying to focus. Lifting her hand slightly, she sees the needle taped into a vein on the back of it. She tries to move her other hand to it, but can't, so she tries rubbing it out against the bed._

 _"I wouldn't do that!" Derek says reaching over to stop her._

 _Izzie squints her eyes. "Der ..." She starts coughing._

 _He brings a bottle of water to her lips, but she moves her head away. "Izzie, take a sip. It'll help you." She shakes her head. "Fine, the IV is keeping you hydrated enough for now." He puts the bottle on the nightstand. When he turns back to her, she has drifted off to sleep._

 _ **DAY FOUR:**_

 _"I feel like I imagined her waking up," he quips frustrated._

 _"What does your doctor friend say?" Bailey asks anxiously._

 _"That it's not uncommon with how much drugs we think she took. He said that kind of thing could go on for awhile before she fully wakes up, but he thought it was a good sign that it happened so soon. I mean it was only a little over 48 hours."_

 _"What's the plan for when she does wake up?"_

 _"I'm working on that. In fact, are you by your computer? Izzie must have canceled her Internet service. Can you look up Shay Psychiatry Services in Brooklyn, New York?"_

 _"You're consulting a shrink in New York? Can't your doctor friend recommend someone?"_

 _"Bailey, this is an unreported suicide attempt, so I'm not going to go to just anybody. Phil's doing me a favor based solely on our med school friendship, but even he's been kind of reluctant, so I have to be careful about how I proceed. Now can you look up the number for me?"_

 _After checking in on Izzie, he stands outside on the patio enjoying the cool, yet rainy, spring air. He punches in the number Bailey gave him._

 _"Shay Psychiatry Services, Lisa speaking."_

 _"Yes, may I please speak with Dr. Shay?"_

 _"May I ask who's calling?"_

 _"Dr. Derek Shepherd."_

 _"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Shay asked me to tell you ... "_

 _"I don't really care what she asked you to tell me." Derek shakes his head annoyed. "Lisa, let me tell you what's going to happen: You're going to go in and tell your boss that she needs to stop being a petty bitch and take my call. Otherwise, I will be calling every ten seconds until she does, which would tie up her line and leave you and her both dealing with many irate patients. Of course, that can easily be avoided by her just taking my call now. I'll hold while you relay THAT message to her."_

 _Lisa's mouth hangs open, agape. When she finally stammers out, "Please hold, Dr. Shepherd," Derek smirks to himself._

 _"You have a lot of nerve threatening my secretary!"_

 _"I have a lot of nerve? You're the one who blocked my number, which you did AFTER I called and left you a message."_

 _"Why are you even calling? Did you get shot again? Oh, right, getting shot and being at death's door doesn't warrant a phone call to your mother and sisters. No, we're left to hear about that kind of thing on the news."_

 _"I already apologized for that."_

 _"Really, to who?"_

 _"The only person that matters, Mom."_

 _"That's nice, Derek, real nice."_

 _"Look, Kath, we can go in circles until the cows come home, but I'm calling you because I need your help, your professional help."_

 _"Who the hell are you? Have you changed so much that we're just an afterthought? The brother I knew cared about us. Dad would be so disappointed in you."_

 _"Wow, that was quite the shrink thing to say, Sis, but clearly I'm not the only one who's changed. Because the sister I knew would never let petty sibling grievances get in the way of helping a woman who has tried to kill herself. Sorry to have bothered you, Dr. Shay." Kathleen lets the receiver slide down to her shoulder, shaking her head. Derek looks at his phone. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 ... Seriously? ... 4, 3, 2 ..." His phone rings. "I can't believe you let me get all the way down to two before calling back!"_

 _"You are such a jerk," she fumes, "and let me be clear: I only called back to help you with this woman. There will be nothing personal between us. We are two doctors only."_

 _Derek rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever, Kath."_

 _ **DAYS SEVEN AND EIGHT:**_

 _It takes another three days for Izzie to fully wake, but she might as well still be asleep. She refuses to get out of bed and barely acknowledges Derek. "Aren't you even curious about why I'm here?" he finally asks her. When she doesn't respond, he continues. "It's about Hannah." This at least gets a physical reaction from her. Her eyes dart open and her breathing quickens as she asks, "Is she sick again?" She listens stoically as Derek fills her in about Hannah's adoptive parents dying and her possibly being placed in foster care. "Well?" he asks, but, without even looking over to him, she closes her eyes to go back to sleep._

 _"She didn't respond at all?" Bailey asks incredulously._

 _"'Is she sick again?' are the most words she has said at one time since she woke up," he points out. "She just lays there, her eyes closed, half the time just pretending to be asleep. She's not eating or drinking anything that I can see. If this continues, I'm going to have to commit her."_

 _ **DAY NINE:**_

 _"Have you shut off the water valve to the bathroom sinks and tubs?" Kathleen asks during their now daily consults._

 _"Why would I do that?"_

 _"You said she's not eating or drinking anything you've given her, but she has to be staying hydrated somehow. You're not in the room with her 24/7 so she must be getting up and going to the bathroom to get drinks of water when you're not there, like now for instance. Turning off the valves will cut off her access and force her to leave the bedroom and go to the kitchen to get water, especially if she's trying, at the minimum, to avoid being hospitalized."_

 _"Seriously, that Psych 101 dribble is the best you've got?"_

 _"Why do I bother?" she asks mostly herself before announcing, "I'm done, Derek. You haven't liked any of my ideas ... "_

 _"Maybe if you gave me an idea I could actually run with!" he protests._

 _"I don't need this crap, especially from an absentee brother!" she flares._

 _"Oh, so now I'm your brother," he rolls his eyes, "because before we were just two doctors."_

 _She shakes her head, not sure who she's more frustrated with: herself, for letting him get to her, or her brother who just doesn't seem to get it. "I'm hanging up now, Derek, before I say something I will probably end up regretting, and if you call again, I'm not going to block your number, but I'm not going to answer either."_

 _"That's fine, because I'm not going to call again," he assures her._

 _ **DAY ELEVEN:**_

 _"I'm going to have to commit her," he realizes sadly. "There's been no change and I need to get back to Seattle before I end up in divorce court."_

 _"Why don't you just bring her back here with you?"_

 _"Bailey, we've already had this discussion, not against her will!" he warns, adding, "I just don't know how to break through her wall of silence."_

 _He becomes distracted by a door slamming. Several seconds later a disheveled Izzie makes her way downstairs and past him to the kitchen. Reaching up to the cabinet, she pauses. "Seriously?" She glares at him. "Child-proof locks? And take that smug smile off your face over your stupid trick."_

 _"Bailey, I know you can't see this, but ... " he can't help smirking as she grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator and walks back towards the stairs, "look who's up and moving around, Little Miss Sunshine or should I say Little Miss Cricket." Izzie has just gotten to the stairs when she hears him use her childhood nickname. She freezes briefly before turning to look at him. "She just gave me the finger!" he laughs incredulous, saying loud enough for her to hear him as she walks up the stairs, "Can you believe that? I save her fucking life and she gives me the finger?"_

 _"No one asked you to save my fucking life, you jackass!" she yells back before slamming the bedroom door behind her._

 _"Wow, it actually worked," he muses, staring up the stairs. Lost in his thoughts, he forgot he was still on the phone with Bailey until he hears her say something about getting Izzie to a park. "A park?" he repeats confused._

 _"Yes, a park. She could probably use the fresh air and I'm sure you could too. You've been pooped up in there since you got there. It's amazing what a little fresh air can do."_

 _He can hear the wheels in her head turning, but can't figure out where she's going with this. "Bailey, you can't really believe that a little fresh air is going to magically heal her?"_

 _"The outdoors can be very healing, Shepherd, and parks can be very stimulating. There's always people at a park," she continues meaningfully, "Older people reading or people-watching, CHILDREN playing. I mean you really never know who Izzie might see there."_

 _Derek casts another look upstairs as he catches on to what she's suggesting. Later, he paces the living room mulling her idea. It's nightfall and he's just finished his daily phone call with Meredith; the calls have been getting shorter and shorter, though her annoyance with his prolonged absence has been tempered by Bailey informing her that she asked him to consult on a case involving a former patient of hers. Tonight's call ended with less friction after he assured her that some headway has been made and he hoped to be home sooner rather than later. He looks thoughtfully up the stairs again before hitting dial on his phone._

 _"It's the middle of the night, so this better be important!"_

 _"I thought you said you weren't going to answer if I called again," he reminds her, amused at her sleepy yet annoyed tone._

 _"And I thought you said you weren't going to call again," she reminds him. "This really better be important."_

 _"It worked," he says simply, sitting out on the patio looking up at the sky. "Turning the water off in the bathrooms."_

 _Kathleen opens her eyes more fully now as she smirks, "Oh, you mean the Psych 101 dribble? Wow, I guess the shrink in the family actually has some good ideas."_

 _"Okay," Derek says after a long pause, "I deserve that. And that is the best and only apology you're going to get from me, so can we move on."_

 _Kathleen sighs, letting her head fall back onto her pillow. "Fine. What is it?"_

 _"Bailey wants me to get her to the park."_

 _"Getting her outside would probably be good," she concedes, realizing, "You wouldn't be calling at this hour if that was all there was to it."_

 _"She wants to get Izzie and her daughter there at the same time. She thinks seeing Hannah will force her to realize she needs help."_

 _Kathleen nods. "You told Izzie why you came looking for her, right?"_

 _"I did."_

 _"And she had no response?"_

 _"None."_

 _"And she hasn't asked about Hannah since?"_

 _"No, but to be fair she really hasn't been saying much. That being said, I don't know if this is a good idea."_

 _"Derek," Kath pauses, thinking how to advise him, "I can't tell you what to do here. I don't know Izzie. I've never even talked to her. You at least know her."_

 _"I know the Izzie who lived in Seattle, I don't know this Izzie," he corrects her._

 _"But the Izzie who lived in Seattle is in there. She's just buried underneath so much pain and despair." A brief silence hangs between them as Derek considers this. "I get what Bailey wants to do and this could be just the thing to make Izzie realize she needs help, but she could also be so far gone that this could push her over the edge, one that she might not be able to climb back up on. ... Just make sure she's not alone with the child at anytime and that she's not left alone for at least 12 to 24 hours after seeing her."_

 _ **DAY FOURTEEN:**_

 _Izzie makes her now daily jaunt downstairs for a drink since Derek shut off the water in her bathrooms. Heading back upstairs, she finds him sitting on the bottom step. "Really? Is this another one of your shrink sister's ideas?"_

 _"No, but I am trying to prevent you from going back upstairs. It's a beautiful day, Iz, and you haven't been out of this house in almost two weeks. Let's go to the park."_

 _"Let's not and said we did," she spits as she tries to push past him, but he puts his arms out to block her. "Go home, Derek! I'm sure your Post-It wife is missing you."_

 _"She is, and I'm missing her."_

 _"Then go home!"_

 _Derek grimaces, realizing it's going to be harder than he expected. He and Izzie are in a draw at the steps, neither willing to back down. "Fine, I'll go home."_

 _"Really," Izzie raises her eyebrows, "just like that?"_

 _"Just like that," he shrugs._

 _Izzie looks at him, trying to figure out the trick. Finally deciding not to kick a gift horse in the mouth, she smiles sweetly as she tells him, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"_

 _"But first ... " he blocks her access to the stairs again, " ... you have to go to the park with me."_

 _ **11 AM**_

 _It wasn't easy to get Izzie out of the house. It was even harder to get her to leave the car and actually enter the park with him, but now they are sitting at a picnic table. He has offered her a protein bar, as she still hasn't eaten anything of substance in the time he has been there and it shows in how her clothes just hang loosely off her frame. The sunlight really amplifies her weight loss and the dark circles underneath her eyes. As he looks at his watch, he wonders if, given her physical condition, this was really a good idea. She can't even hold her head up for long as she lays it atop her folded arms on the table._

 _"Why do you keep looking at your watch?" she asks watching him out of the corner of her eye._

 _"You made it clear only a half-hour ... " his voice trails off as he sees a woman walking towards the table. "Dr. Shepherd?" she greets him. "Yes, and you must be Sharon Walls," Derek says shaking her hand._

 _Izzie slowly lifts her head. "Dr. Stevens, good to see you again," the woman says warmly. Izzie looks between her and Derek, confused. "It's quite okay if you don't remember me," she continues. "After all, we only met very briefly in Dr. Bailey's office three years ago."_

 _Derek sees the recognition flash on Izzie's face, and he sees the anger when she looks over to him. Sitting back down, he places a gentle but firm hand on her arm to keep her from reacting. "We appreciate you being able to meet us here," he says._

 _"It was no problem," she says, setting her bag down. "Dr. Bailey told me you have been under the weather, Izzie, and you weren't able to travel to see Hannah. Since she's on Spring Break, this field trip was not a problem at all."_

 _"What?" Izzie shrieks, glancing anxiously around the park. "Hannah's here!"_

 _She tries to jump up, but is prevented from doing so in part due to her weakened physical state and in part due to Derek's hand pressing further on her arm, keeping her in place. Sharon sees the sheer panic on her face and is confused. "You did know about this meeting, didn't you?"_

 _Derek interjects now. "I think Izzie simply forgot that the meeting was this morning. When you're sick, the days can blend together." Turning his attention to Izzie now, but still addressing both women, "I was going to go back to Seattle, but if you feel you need another day, Iz ... " Izzie side-glares him as the unaware Social Worker chimes in. "Like I said, Hannah is on Spring Break, so we can get a hotel for the night."_

 _"No!" Izzie says suddenly. "Dr. Shepherd is right ... " She glares over at him. "I simply forgot it was today ... "_

 _"So I should go get Hannah?" Mrs. Walls asks anxiously, looking towards her minivan. Izzie follows her gaze, seeing a young blonde girl standing up against the maroon vehicle. She smiles tightly, afraid to actually open her mouth for what might come out, and simply nods to Mrs. Walls._

 _ **12:30 PM**_

 _"You son of a bitch!" Izzie rails at him the moment they are back at her house. His phone rings. "Is that Bailey?" She asks as she grabs the phone and looks at the Caller ID. "You sent him here, right, Bailey? So unsend him. Tell him to come home and leave me the hell alone!"_

 _Bailey is so stunned to finally hear her former intern's voice that she doesn't get a chance to respond as Izzie throws the phone back at Derek and rushes upstairs. "She's a little upset, huh?" is all Bailey manages before asking, rather hopefully, "Did it at least go well?"_

 _Derek sighs. "It wasn't bad. I mean, really, the kid didn't want be there anymore than Izzie did. And, by the way, she is the spitting image of her. I felt like I was looking at a mini-Izzie the whole time. ... But she did get her to eat something."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yeah, at one point we went to the swings so Mrs. Walls and Izzie could talk. An ice-cream truck pulled in. I suggested we buy Smoothies for everyone, hoping to force Izzie to eat something. Hannah went to ask Mrs. Walls if it was okay, but when she said that I offered, Izzie claimed that her stomach was upset. But apparently ice-cream trucks now offer soup. Did you know that? I didn't. Anyway she came back with soup for Izzie and said that when she was recovering from her illness and her stomach was upset her Mom told her that soup would not only make it feel better, but help restore her strength." Derek laughs at the memory. "The look on Izzie's face, I swear she was willing the ground to open up and swallow her whole. But she ate the soup."_

 _"Well, it sounds like a promising beginning," Bailey says, causing him to shake his head. "Bailey, I would NOT get your hopes up here."_

 _"Seriously?" Startled, Derek turns to find Izzie glaring at him at the foot of the stairs. Telling Bailey he'll call her back, he closes his phone and turns to face her. "I didn't hear you come down."_

 _"No, you and Bailey were too busy congratulating yourselves," her voice is cold. "You said you'd leave if I went to the park. I went to the park."_

 _"And I'm going to leave."_

 _"Really when?"_

 _He hears Kathleen's voice in his head advising him not to leave her alone for 12 to 24 hours after she sees Hannah. "Can't we just talk, Iz? What did the Social Worker say?"_

 _"That wasn't part of the deal!"_

 _Derek nods. He feels as exhausted mentally as she looks physically. He's out of time and ideas. "You do know I could still have you committed?"_

 _"Who the hell do you think you are?" she snaps, approaching him and pushing up against him. "When do you stop playing God with my - MY, Derek, MY - life? You ignored a DNR, chose to save me over George ... "_

 _"Wait, what?"_

 _"You break in here and revive me, and then spring my daughter on me to ... " she shakes her head " ... I don't even know what. You could commit me, Derek, but I'm a freaking doctor. You think I don't know what I'd need to do to get out of a 72-hour hold? You could drag me back to Seattle and you could all take turns babysitting me. You think I don't know what I'd need to do to make you all think I was fine so you'd let your guards down. Bottom line, it's my life and if I want to end it there's nothing you could ultimately do to stop me."_

 _He looks at her for several long moments before sadly conceding. "You're right. Ultimately there's nothing I can do to stop you. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. So ... " He shrugs now. "... I'll leave in the morning."_

 _She nods slightly, as a tense silence falls between them. She has just turned to go back upstairs when she hears Derek clear his throat. "Before you go retreating to your bedroom, can you explain what you meant about I chose to save you over George?"_

 _"What's there to explain?" She's clearly exhausted. "Do you really think I don't know what happened that day?"_

 _"Refresh my memory," he challenges her._

 _She shakes her head. "This isn't a trick, right? You'll leave in the morning?" she finally asks, more like pleads. He winces at the desperation in her voice, but assures her, "I give you my word, I'll leave in the morning."_

 _Nodding, she slowly sinks down on the couch, clutching a pillow. He sits on the coffee table in front of her and waits. "Alex had just taken me to see George. I guess there was a debate as to whether he'd want to be kept alive by artificial means. His mom had wanted Callie to make the decision, but Callie said I knew him best and would know what he wanted. He rolled me into his room. He was disfigured beyond recognition, he looked nothing like when I saw him."_

 _Derek's eyes cloud over, trying to remember when she would have last seen him before his accident and her surgery. Her and Alex's wedding comes to mind, but he senses she's not referring to that. "When did you see him?" he queries._

 _"When I coded, when I died ... I saw him. I had gotten on the elevator. When the doors opened, he was standing there in a military uniform."_

 _Derek nods slightly. "Where were you going?"_

 _"To see Denny. I was wearing the dress I wore to the prom. I was going to his room so he could see me like I told him I would that night. When the doors opened, there was George. I smiled at him, asked if he was getting on. He shook his head, said it wasn't my time. I didn't understand what he meant. The doors had just started closing when I heard your voice shout 'Clear!' I was off the elevator and back in my hospital bed."_

 _Silence engulfs them as he digests what she's just recounted. He has heard of patients having out of body experiences, but never such a first-hand account. "Izzie," he says gently, "you saw George in his hospital room. You saw how disfigured he was. There was nothing that could be done to save him."_

 _"You could have!" she stares at him accusingly now, surprising him. "You could have saved him, Derek, but you left the OR to come and save me. I heard her."_

 _"Who?"_

 _"Callie. She was with Mark and Lexie. Alex had wheeled me out of George's room and went to find Mer to tell her that Mrs. O'Malley should pull the plug. I was so overcome, I wheeled myself into a corner ... they didn't know I was there. Mark was trying to comfort them and Callie said he didn't need to die and wouldn't have if Lexie hadn't told you I was coding. She said because Lexie did that, you chose to save me, not George."_

 _Derek is stunned. He thinks back to that day. He and Hunt had rushed George into surgery after Meredith announced that their John Doe was actually George. They hadn't even begun operating when Lexie burst in with the news Izzie was coding - the Chief had sent her to get him. Izzie had been stable just before that so he had been surprised and when he looked down to the patient laying on the table before him he was torn. Hunt's voice cut through his hesitation. "Derek, go! I got O'Malley! Go! Izzie needs you!" He nodded, rushing out of the OR and down the corridor to Izzie's room._

 _He looks at Izzie now, who is crying. He sighs deeply, thinking carefully of how to proceed. "Izzie, look at me," he pleads, edging closer to her. She backs away, but he reaches out and takes hold of her arms. "LOOK AT ME!" When she finally does, he moves from the coffee table to the couch. The pain he sees staring back at him is raw and he takes a deep breath to collect himself. "I need you to hear what I'm about to tell you, Izzie. I need you to listen to what I am saying and really hear it. Okay?" She nods slightly. "Iz, my staying in that OR wouldn't have made any difference to George because, and believe me it kills me to say this, he was never going to make it."_

 _"You're just saying that!" she flares jumping up._

 _"You promised to listen to me!" he reminds her, taking her head in his hands to force her to keep looking at him. "Izzie, you know the kind of person I am, you know the kind of doctor I am, and you know the ego I have in the OR. Do you honestly think I would have left George if I really thought there was anything we, or I specifically, could have done? You didn't see him when he was brought in. You didn't know the full extent of his injuries. We hadn't rushed who we thought was simply a John Doe into surgery because we knew he wasn't going to make it and it'd be cruel to put him through that kind of pain for nothing. When Meredith announced it was George, the only reason - and I do mean the ONLY REASON - we rushed him into surgery was because it was George, one of our own, and we wanted to buy him time."_

 _"Time?" she repeats confused._

 _"Yes, time." He falters, getting caught up in the emotion. "His Mom wasn't there, Iz. No one in the hospital besides Mer, Hunt, and I knew at that moment who this patient was." He takes a deep breath. "The truth is, Izzie, it didn't matter what we did. It didn't matter if the guy was George or had remained some faceless, nameless John Doe because he was never going to make it." He sees that truth begin to sink in on her face. "Iz, we all cared about George, and to this day his death is a hole we live with at Seattle Grace. And I get you wishing it had been you and not him, but even if I had stayed in that OR and you had died it would have just meant that we would have lost both of you. IZZIE, HE WAS NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT!"_

 _Tears are streaming down her face now, and even Derek's is tear-stained. He has let go of her, surprised she hasn't made a beeline back to her bedroom. "Iz?" he starts to reach out to her, but she recoils from his touch and rushes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, she pauses. Without turning around, she simply calls out, "You promised you'd leave in the morning," before continuing to her room. Derek collapses on the couch and buries his face in his hands, realizing there's nothing more he can do for her._

 _ **4 PM**_

 _"Wife versus female BFF, Shepherd, is never a good match-up and when the wife becomes a scorned ex-wife all bets are off then," Bailey fumes, "and if I thought it would do any good at all, I'd find Dr. Callie Torres and slap her upside her damn head."_

 _"Izzie said she didn't know she was there," Derek points out, sighing exhaustedly, "and it's really not going to help the matter at hand."_

 _Bailey nods, understanding. "What now?"_

 _Derek shrugs. "Now? I leave in the morning. I've already texted Meredith that I'll be home tomorrow."_

 _"You're really going to leave?" she asks incredulous. "At least wait until I can get there."_

 _"Bailey, whatever trust she had in us was badly damaged with the Hannah stunt. Any trust she has left in me I will lose if I don't keep my word and leave. And I'm sorry to say this, Bailey, but if you show up here uninvited that will send her over the edge and we will never get her back. We have to give her space now."_

 _"And if she kills herself?"_

 _Derek inhales sharply, flashing back to finding her near lifeless form. "Then at least we know we did everything we could," he says softly._

 _He falls silent now, waiting for Bailey to agree, when the sound of breaking glass startles him. He jumps up from the couch, looking towards the stairs, and sees Izzie run from the guestroom into the hall bathroom. More breaking glass. She rushes out of the bathroom. "Bailey, I'll call you back!" He rushes upstairs and looks into the hall bathroom to find the mirror on the medicine cabinet smashed and glass all over the sink. He then looks in the guestroom and sees the dresser mirror smashed and glass all over the place._

 _"Izzie!" he calls out, rushing into her bedroom. "Don't!"_

 _Handheld mirrors have been smashed against the wall and the pieces laying all over the floor. He looks behind her into the master bathroom and can see glass glittering all over the sink and floor. "Izzie, stop! Just stop!" he demands, jumping in front of her as she's about to throw something at the dresser mirror. He ends up ducking as she throws over his head. It misses, so she picks up another object to throw when he grabs her and wrestles it away from her._

 _"Let me go!" she yells, trying to pull away. She repeats the demand over and over again until finally, exhausted, she dissolves into tears. As she struggled against him, he had lowered them both to the floor, propping them against her bed. "It's okay, I've got you," he said rocking her until she stopped struggling and essentially cried herself to sleep._

 _ **8:30 PM**_

 _His phone vibrating in his pocket wakes him. He stretches slightly to try and loosen the tightness in his back from being propped against the bed so long, though he tries not to move too much so as not to disturb Izzie, who is curled up next to him, her head in his lap. He looks down at her, gently moving strands of hair off her tear-stained face. His phone rings again, and this time Izzie stirs._

 _Gently, he helps her to sit up and then crouches next to her. "Put your arms around my neck," he tells her. Her eyes finally focusing in the dark, she tells him she can get up on her own. "Izzie, there is glass all over the place. You don't have anything on your feet, so I'm going to carry you downstairs," he says firmly. Wordlessly, she does as he asks and he gently lifts her into his arms and carries her downstairs, laying her on the sofa. "Go back to sleep. I'll clean up upstairs," he says as he covers her with a blanket._

 _"Derek?" she calls out as he starts to walk away._

 _"Yeah?"_

 _She reaches her hand out to him, surprising him. But he takes it and sits on the coffee table in front of her. "I wasn't trying to hurt myself," she says softly. She looks at him now, straight in the eye. "I wasn't trying to hurt myself. Do you believe me?"_

 _"I actually do," he assures her, gently wiping away a tear that rolls down her face. "If you were just looking for a piece of glass to cut yourself with, you wouldn't have smashed all the mirrors upstairs." She nods in agreement at this reasoning. "What happened?"_

 _She shrugs. "I can't remember the last time I looked at myself in a mirror, I mean really LOOKED at myself where I saw my reflection looking back at me. After we talked about George, I was just so tired, so, so tired. I started looking around for something to take. I know you had cleared my room of anything I could take or use to hurt myself, but I thought surely you couldn't have gotten everything. Then I remembered my makeup case had pain medication in it, not enough to kill me, but at least it would take the edge off of how I was feeling. I emptied out the contents and used the edge of my compact to break the pills up. It opened. When I went to put it aside, I caught a glimpse of myself. I looked directly in it and I didn't recognize the person looking back at me." She covers her sobbing face with her hands._

 _Derek tries to calm her, moving from the table to the edge of the couch, but at the same time he's a doctor. "Iz," he tries shushing her, "did you take the pills?"_

 _She shakes her head. She moves her hands over her head so that she's looking at the ceiling. "No. I closed the compact and reopened it, thinking my reflection would change. It didn't, so I threw it against the wall." She looks at him now. "I went into the other rooms to check the mirrors there ... I just didn't know the person I was seeing. I don't know what has happened to me, Derek." She lets out a sob from deep inside that it causes him to flinch. He lifts her up enough to be able to hug her, realizing she needs to let all the feelings she has bottled up for far too long out._

 _He's not sure how long they spent sitting like that when he feels her lower herself back down on the sofa. He places a gentle kiss to her temple as he again covers her. He starts to get up when he hears his name. He looks over to her. "Please don't leave tomorrow." It's said so softly that he's almost not sure if he heard correctly. But when she opens her eyes to look at him, he knows he did hear her correctly._

 _Sighing heavily, he sits back down. "Come back to Seattle with me, Iz."_

 _She shakes her head vigorously. "No! Please don't make me go back. I won't make it if I go back."_

 _"It's okay, shush. I won't make you go back," he assures her, "but, Iz, if I stay ... "_

 _"It's in my wallet, behind my license."_

 _"What is?" he asks confused. She yawns now, stretching into the blanket. "The business card for the therapist Dr. Newton wanted me to see. I think her name is Levins."_

 _Derek nods. "I'll call her Answering Service, see if I can get you in tomorrow."_

 _"OK," Izzie says slowly drifting off to sleep, "You won't ... leave."_

 _"I won't leave."_


	9. The Million Dollar Question

_**Author's Note: This much LIGHTER chapter was practically all written when I realized a Flashback chapter was needed to not only start explaining the backstory, but also serve as a transition to the next phase of the story. As always, your reviews are much appreciated and inspire me, so please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW. And, as always, all Grey's characters belong to Shonda.**_

Walking into the hospital, Meredith couldn't shake the feeling that something big was going to go down. It was not the "bomb in a patient's chest cavity" type feeling, but it was persistent and ran deep.

"Having _that_ feeling?" Maggie asks, coming up from behind her.

"Yeah, but it doesn't really have to do with the hospital. It has more to do with Derek, but I don't know what."

The sisters walk up to the elevator and see Amelia exiting. "You're here early," Maggie notes.

"Yeah, I have a meeting shortly, so I came in early to prep. Have you guys seen Owen?"

"No, not yet. Why are you prepping for the staff meeting?" Maggie asks curiously.

"I'm not. I won't be at the staff meeting."

"What is going on with you?" Meredith asks now, staring sharply at her sister-in-law.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the other day Bailey makes a comment about you seeing dead people and now you're skipping the staff meeting. Let me guess, you didn't get your budget to her?" she says pointedly.

"No, I did get my budget to her," Amelia replies, resenting being put on the spot.

"Who's the dead person you're seeing?" Maggie asks lightly, trying to break up the growing tension between them.

"I'm not!" she protests quickly, too quickly for it to be believable.

Meredith is now scowling at Amelia, who escorts them away from the elevators to a more secluded area. "What is your problem, Mer?"

"I'm just wondering if you're the reason I have this feeling about Derek, that somehow ... " she sighs heavily " ... I don't know, I can't put my finger on it. ... Is Derek the dead person you're 'seeing'? Is that why you were 'looking for him' at the cemetery the other day?"

Amelia grimaces, hating that she is coming off crazy when she's only trying to help her brother. "It's not like that," she insists. "He's just been on my mind a lot lately, you know, because of this Patient C thing."

"Right. Patient C," Meredith nods slightly. "Is that what your meeting is about?"

Maggie looks between them confused. "Who's Patient C?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. But I am following up on something else that I think might be related," she admits.

Meredith's still side-eyeing her, but relents. "Well, good luck. Come on, Maggie, we have a staff meeting to get to."

"Actually, Mer, while I have you here, can you tell me about the time Derek told you that Patient C would be staying with him in D.C.? Specifically, how long after that last argument about Izzie did he tell you this?"

"Izzie? As in Izzie Stevens, Alex's ex?" Maggie asks wide-eyed.

"Yes," they answer in unison.

"Not long," Meredith replies. "It was only like the week before he left for D.C. that we had that last argument about Izzie. A couple days later he told me this patient would be staying with him."

 **** FLASHBACK ****

 _Derek and Meredith are in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. She's washing dishes and he's drying them. The tension is thick._

 _"So ... I really don't want to start another argument," he begins, "but there's a situation I want to fill you in about."_

 _She turns off the water, dries her hands, and turns to him. She takes a deep breath and waits._

 _"I think I mentioned to you about a patient that wanted me to sign off on a procedure that her current doctor wouldn't."_

 _"You did," Meredith nods. "You weren't going to do it."_

 _"Right, right. Um, well, initially I wasn't. I changed my mind and, well, she needs to be monitored throughout the procedure because of a pre-existing condition, so ... she's going to stay with me in D.C."_

 _Meredith blinks a couple of times, not quite sure she heard correctly. "This patient is going to live with you in ... "_

 _"No, not live with!" he quickly jumps in. "STAY with. There's a huge difference."_

 _"Really?" Meredith says, crossing her arms now. "How long is she going to be staying with you? A few days? A few weeks? Because anything longer, she's doing more than staying?"_

 _"It's kind of up in the air right now, you know, based on the outcome of the procedure," he admits, ignoring the scowl forming across his wife's face, "And since I'm the one who signed off on it, it's kind of my responsibility to make sure everything is okay, so they're going to stay with me."_

 _"They?" Her eyes widen. "Who are they?"_

 _"The patient and her 11-year-old daughter." A tense silence fills the space between them. "I just wanted to let you know," he says finally, as he takes the last plate out of the strainer to dry._

 _"And if I said I didn't want this patient living - oh, I'm sorry 'staying' - with you?"_

 _Sighing, he finishes drying the plate and puts it away in the cabinet before turning to his wife. "I actually wasn't asking your permission. My name is on the lease, so I can have whoever I want stay there, and I have more than enough room since you changed your mind about moving to D.C.," he points out, more gruffly than he had intended, causing Meredith to wince._

 _"So you really don't think I have a right to be upset about my husband having a woman and her kid stay with him, and really it's living with if you want to be specific?"_

 _"It's really not a big deal, Mer," he insists. "Regardless of how long she's there, it's not like I will be spending a lot of time with her. I mean I have to come back here half the time and the other half, I'll be working. She'll be living at the house more than I actually will be."_

 _"Have to come back here?" she flares. "Is that how you see it?"_

 _"You were the one ... " Derek begins, but stops himself. He sighs heavily. "I really don't want to fight about this again. I am just letting you know of a situation that's going to be happening. Okay?"_

 _Meredith sees that her husband's mind is made up about this patient staying with him. "I guess it's going to have to be," she says sadly._

 _They finish cleaning the kitchen in silence._

 **** END OF FLASHBACK ****

The pain on Mer's face in recalling that conversation is evident to both Amelia and Maggie. "Again, I'm sorry to dredge all this up," Amelia says softly.

"There's a reason this is all coming up now. There's a reason Izzie's name is coming up now. I keep thinking about it, but I just can't figure it out," she admits.

"I can't either, but I believe I'm getting closer," Amelia assures her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looks at her watch. "I have to get going. If you see Owen, please tell him I'll page him later."

Amelia departs and Meredith and Maggie get on the elevator. "What was that all about?" Maggie asks.

"I'll tell you later," Meredith says, as they get off the elevator.

They start to enter the conference room when Jo approaches them. "Have either of you talked to Alex? I've been trying to reach him."

"Join the club," Mer responds flippantly.

"He still hasn't called you?" Maggie questions Meredith. "That is really unusual."

"Tell me about it!" her sister snaps back.

"I guess the answer to your question is no." Maggie looks over apologetically to Jo.

The two Attendings and Resident enter the conference room to find a surprisingly full house. Not only are Owen and Nathan back, but Arizona is as well. "Weren't you staying in New York through the end of the week?" Maggie asks Arizona as she takes a seat.

"Have you talked to Alex?" Jo pipes in, not waiting for her to answer Maggie.

"Took the Red Eye last night so I could be here to do damage control," Arizona addresses them in a clipped tone, "and, no, I have not talked to Alex. He is persona non grata right now!"

The three look at each other, taken aback at Arizona's sharp tone, before Jo turns to Owen and Nathan. "What about you guys? I'm assuming he came home with you." She, along with Meredith and Maggie, notices the looks that pass between them and Arizona.

"It's not like they aren't going to find out what happened," Owen points out.

"We need to deal with the potential ramifications of this with Bailey and Catherine before we bring everyone else into this," Arizona insists.

"Oh my god," Jo shrieks suddenly, "did something happen to Alex?"

"What? No. He's fine. A jackass, but otherwise fine!" Arizona snaps.

"Arizona, calm down!" Richard instructs as he comes into the conference room. He takes a seat next to her. "It will be okay."

"Really? Then where are Bailey and Catherine?"

"Conference call with Drs. Thomas and ... " he pauses, looking over to Meredith, Maggie, and Jo. He looks back to Arizona. "Do they know?"

Arizona shakes her head as Nathan speaks up. "I don't think it's a problem with her. Dr. Thomas is the one."

"I agree with Nathan," Owen says. "I mean she didn't even tell Dr. Thomas about Alex's suspension and she easily could have, especially after Dr. Thomas cut our first meeting short."

"Exactly! She's all about doing what's best for the patient!" adds Nathan.

"That doesn't surprise me in the least," Richard says with a touch of pride in his voice, "but ... " he adds in a more even tone, "it doesn't change the fact that Alex's behavior has put this hospital in a precarious position."

"As the three of you did by even allowing him to go on this trip!" Catherine admonishes as she and Bailey come into the room now. "I mean, he is on suspension pending the outcome of a criminal investigation." She sets her folder on the table. "What were you thinking?"

"Hey, sorry we're late! Harriet had a rough night ... " All eyes turn to see Jackson and April come bursting through the door. Jackson stops speaking mid-sentence, picking up on the tension in the room. He looks over questioningly to Maggie, who only shrugs, so he asks no one in particular, "What's going on?"

"What are you doing back so early?" April asks Arizona in a low voice as she and Jackson take their seats.

"Catherine, Chief Bailey," Arizona begins.

"Arizona, hold on," Nathan says, as he anxiously turns to Catherine and Bailey, "Please tell me they did not cancel the contract and we are still bringing Zackary Lawrence there at the end of the week."

"Yes, Friday," Catherine replies as he, Owen, and even Arizona sigh in relief, "but the conditions Dr. Thomas laid out at the time she presented the contract are still in effect."

When Arizona starts to address Catherine and Bailey again, Owen interrupts her, saying they should wait for Amelia to arrive. "That way everyone can hear this all at once and know what's going on," he insists.

"Dr. Shepherd isn't coming to the meeting, so please, Dr. Robbins, continue," Bailey instructs.

"Why isn't Amelia coming to the meeting? Is she in surgery?"

"Really, Dr. Hunt? Is that your main concern right now?"

"No. Sorry Chief."

"You should be sorry. I can believe Dr. Robbins being a softie where Dr. Karev is concerned, but what I can't believe is that you let her talk you into bringing him with you on this trip!"

"Chief Bailey, you just said it: I talked Hunt and Riggs into letting Alex go along, so if anyone should be reprimanded it should be me," insists Arizona.

"Arizona, just wait!" Owen protests. He turns to face Bailey directly. "I'm not saying Dr. Robbins wasn't wrong to let Alex go to Atlanta and I'm not saying that we" he gestures between himself and Nathan "weren't wrong for going along with her, but this whole thing could have been avoided, Bailey, if you had told just one of us about Izzie's involvement with the Center."

"Izzie! Alex's ex-wife?" Meredith and Jo gasp at the same time. They exchange glances as it suddenly dawns on both of them why Alex hasn't been calling either of them back.

"Dr. Hunt, you are out of line!" Bailey warns.

"But he has a point, Miranda!" Catherine insists.

"No, he doesn't!" she protests, as she turns to Arizona, "Maybe if YOU had gone through proper channels to get clearance for Dr. Karev to go on the trip in a non-medical capacity, then ... "

"Then what? You would have told us about Izzie's involvement?" Hunt demands.

"No. If Dr. Robbins had gotten the proper clearance for Dr. Karev to go, then I would have notified Dr. Stevens that there was a chance of Dr. Karev being there."

"So you really don't think any of us had a right to know about Izzie's involvement with the Center?"

"It's not about whether you had a right to know or not. You going to the Center had nothing to do with Dr. Stevens - you were going there for a patient."

"To a Center that SHE founded so that the patient could use a physical therapy rehabilitation system SHE created! So, yes, I think we had a right to know!" Owen points out, flustered. Then, after he takes a breath to calm himself, he adds "Actually, we should have known whether we were going there or not since she was once part of this hospital's team."

"He has a point there, Miranda." Richard speaks up now. "We have always acknowledged the accomplishments of doctors who have been part of our team. This should have been no different."

"I don't disagree with you, Dr. Webber, but, as I am sure it was explained to Dr. Hunt by Dr. Thomas and maybe even Dr. Stevens herself, Izzie has preferred to remain behind the scenes and not take any public credit for the Center. Outside of the people at the Center, there aren't too many people in the medical community that know of her direct involvement with the Center or the DAOM System."

"You knew, Derek knew, so why couldn't the rest of us know?" Hunt demands, refusing to let this go.

"What did you just say?"

Everyone, who had been intensely following Bailey and Owen's back and forth, suddenly turn their attention to Meredith. "Why do you think Derek knew about Izzie and this Center?" she asks Owen.

"Because apparently he invested a million dollars in the Center."

Owen doesn't notice the grimace that flickers across Bailey's face at his answer nor does he notice, as he turns back to Bailey, the wide-eyed shock that befalls Mer's face. "And for him to have done that, he, as well as the other investors, would had to have known who the Center's founder was."

"Derek invested a million dollars in the Center?" Meredith repeats, mostly to herself, her face scrunching in confusion. "That can't be right."

"You didn't know?" Maggie asks as she places a concerned hand on her arm. When Mer shakes her head, she clears her throat to get the others' attention. "Owen, did Izzie tell you that Derek invested a million dollars?"

"No, Dr. Thomas did."

"You didn't know about the investment?" Nathan asks, taking note of Meredith's surprise.

"No, I didn't."

"You mean you didn't notice $1 million dollars missing from your account?" Catherine asks judgmentally.

"Mother! Catherine!" Jackson and Richard admonish at the same time.

"What?" she replies defensively. "I would certainly notice if that kind of money was suddenly gone from my bank account."

"Derek handled our money."

"Yes, and he's been dead for two years now. You mean to tell me you didn't notice that the account was, oh I don't know, a million dollars less than you expected it to be after he died?"

"Catherine, that's enough!" Richard warns her. "Can we please get back to the matter at hand?"

"Actually, Drs. Avery, Kepner, Grey, Pierce, Wilson, and Webber, you can be excused. I think Chief Bailey and I need to hash this out with Drs. Robbins, Hunt, and Riggs ourselves."

"Well, that was a shocking turn of events," Maggie quips to Meredith and Jo outside the conference room, once the others have dispersed, but they both seem to be lost in their own thoughts. "One of us should probably go and try to find Alex," she adds, knowing this will get their attention.

"We should," Jo agrees, locking stares with Meredith.

"I'll go. I know where he is," Meredith replies.

 **MEANWHILE:**

Amelia stands outside the door that has the word "LEGAL" emblazoned gold-plated on it. She sighs heavily as she prepares to go in. Gone is her strong bravado from yesterday, after coming to the office and learning that not only did she have to make an appointment but she would have to submit in writing a request to see Izzie's medical file. She begrudgingly took the form, but made it clear she would need to see Ms. Kenney by the end of the next day. She got a text from her secretary, Charlene, that Ms. Kenney could see her at 9:45 that morning, so she left Owen still sleeping to come to the hospital to prepare.

"Here goes nothing," she quips to herself as she gently raps on the door and pushes it open.

"Good morning, Dr. Shepherd," smiles Charlene. "Ms. Kenney is on the phone, so please just have a seat. She should only be a couple of minutes."

"Sure. I faxed over my request late last night."

"Yes, I know. I gave it to her first thing."

"Do you know whether it was approved or not?"

"Dr. Shepherd, I certainly hope you are not trying to circumvent the process?" Ms. Kenney asks as she enters the reception area.

"Of course not," Amelia smiles tightly. She takes in the women's appearance. Hair slicked back, her tailored black pin-stripe business suit gives her 5'10 frame an even more polished, powerful aura. She swallows thickly. "And thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice."

"It's fine," Ms. Kenney says as she hands Charlene a file. "Actually this won't take long. Your request is denied. Have a nice day."

"What do you mean denied? Why?"

"Because quite frankly you haven't provided me with a good reason for wanting to see the file."

"You mean a patient with similar symptoms isn't a good enough reason to review the file?" Amelia asks incredulous.

Ms. Kenney turns and faces Amelia directly. "Dr. Shepherd, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I don't believe your reason for wanting to see the Stevens file."

Realizing her bluff has been called, Amelia jumps to her Plan B. _My Plan B? What Plan B?_ "Okay, look, I went the 'another patient' route because ... I am respecting Dr. Stevens' privacy."

"Dr. Stevens is sick again?" Ms. Kenney queries, catching Amelia off-guard with the genuine concern she detects in her voice.

"Well ... "

"Before you answer that, Dr. Shepherd," Ms. Kenney eyes her squarely, "and potentially dig yourself into a bigger hole than you already are in, I should tell you that I do know how to get in touch with Dr. Stevens and can easily verify anything you tell me with her directly."

"Oh," Amelia frowns.

"Have a good day, Dr. Shepherd."

At her wits' end, Amelia decides to throw caution to the wind in the hopes of finding out anything that might help her. "You do know that you did not follow hospital policy when you decided to seal Dr. Stevens' medical file."

Charlene gawks at the brazen accusation, causing both women to look over at her questioningly. "Don't mind me," the secretary smiles weakly, quickly averting her eyes, as her boss asks Amelia, "And you are basing that assertion on what exactly?"

"Hospital policy. I looked it up before coming here. It states that doctors on a case are to be notified when a file is sealed and I've inquired of Chief Bailey and Dr. Webber, both of whom were on the case, where the file is and they both appear to have no idea of its sealing."

"Dr. Shepherd," she says steely, "I strongly suggest you go back and re-read the policy. It actually states that only the Lead Doctor on a case needs to be notified of a file's sealing and it is at the Lead Doctor's discretion whether or not to notify the other doctors on the case. I did my part, which was to notify the Lead Doctor, who, as you know, was your brother. If he chose not to tell the other doctors on the case of the file's sealing, well, that was done at his discretion."

"Yes, but Dr. Webber was Chief of Staff at that time. He would have been notified even before Derek of a potential legal matter and, again, he does not seem aware that Dr. Stevens file has been sealed. Second, Derek is dead ... " Amelia pauses to swallow the lump that discussing his death always triggers " ... so if there's an issue requiring this file to be sealed, then one of the other doctors on the case should be made aware of it."

"Dr. Shepherd, just so we are clear, the only reason I am even entertaining you right now is out of respect to your brother." Ms. Kenney's tone makes it clear she's treading a thin line. "The issue with Dr. Stevens' case was never a legal matter for the hospital. It came to light during another matter not directly involving the hospital, so there was no reason for the Chief of Staff to be involved. Finally, the sealing of the file was actually your brother's idea. He didn't want to take the chance of the issue with the file being discovered by anyone else and potentially becoming a legal matter for the hospital."

"Knowing the consummate doctor my brother was, I just can't fathom what kind of issue there could have been with a case of one of his patients warranting the sealing of said patient's file," Amelia persists.

Ms. Kenney softens her stance at the pain she detects in Amelia's voice. "It's both ... minor and major at the same time," she allows, "and, unless you know what you're looking at, you're not really going to realize what the issue is. It could have serious ramifications for the hospital, but, as you said, your brother was the consummate doctor and he made sure that if the issue ever did come to light, it fell back only on him, as the Lead Doctor on the case."

"So basically ... " Amelia says now, a new idea forming, " ... you owe him."

"I didn't say that," she warns, her tone letting Amelia know this conversation is done.

"Okay, well, thank you for your time," she says, dejectedly heading for the door. She pauses in the doorway. "Can I ask you one last question?" She quickly pushes forward without waiting for a reply. "Do you know anything about a Patient C that Derek treated four years ago or a connection this patient might have with Dr. Stevens?"

Ms. Kenney sighs heavily now, looking briefly over to Charlene, who has been trying hard to seem engrossed in her work and not be so obvious about listening to the conversation. She should have just sent Amelia away without saying anything from the start.

"I think I heard two questions in there, Dr. Shepherd," she responds sharply, "but the answer to both is no. If I recall correctly, wasn't four years ago when he took on that research project in D.C. and you took over his position as Neuro Attending?" She looks directly at her now, smirking. "So if he was treating a patient then why wouldn't you, as the Department's Attending, have known about it? I mean at that point you were his boss, weren't you?"

Amelia frowns at the subtle, yet clear, jab. "Thank you very much for your time, Ms. Kenney," she says. She sighs heavily outside the door, unsure as to what direction she should take now. "What is the big secrecy around this file?" She shakes her head frustrated.

Her phone dings. COFFEE IN TEN. MEET ME IN THE CAFETERIA. Smiling, she pushes off the door and walks to the elevator.

Ms. Kenney waits several seconds before opening the door to make sure Amelia has in fact gone. "Pushy thing, isn't she?" she quips to Charlene, directing her as she walks back into her office, "Get Dr. Stevens on the phone for me!"

Ten minutes later, Amelia enters the cafeteria. Maggie is consoling Jo when she sees her enter and waves her over. Amelia hesitates, not wanting to get caught up in whatever drama Jo has going on, especially since she's meeting Owen. But Maggie persists in waving her over, so she begrudgingly goes. "Hey guys, what's going on?" she asks, trying to sound interested.

"Sit!" Maggie orders, pointing to a chair, while her other hand is still on Jo's back patting her comfortingly. "You need to tell us what Owen told you."

"I don't understand," she says, remaining standing. "What Owen told me about what?"

Maggie glares over at her. "Can't you see she's upset?"

"Of course I can."

"Then you need to tell us what Owen told you about what happened between Alex and Izzie!"

"Alex and who?" Amelia asks confused.

"Izzie, his ex-wife."

Amelia pulls out the chair Maggie previously pointed to and sits down. "You now have my attention. What about Alex and Izzie?"

"That's what I'm asking you!" Maggie snaps. "Didn't Owen tell you about this when he got back last night?"

"No, I was already asleep and then I left this morning before he was awake. Lately we're like two ships passing each other as I ... You know what, never mind about that. What about Izzie? Oh my gosh, is she here?"

"What? No! But she was in Atlanta. Apparently she's the founder of the Center Owen, Nathan, and Alex went to."

"Seriously!"

"Yes, seriously."

Amelia sees Owen enter the cafeteria. "This is actually the first I am hearing about this," she says as she gets up, "but I will follow up. In the meantime, Jo, I am sure it will be fine. Alex is with you now and despite your current troubles you guys love each other. You just need to focus on that. Okay? Maggie, I'll call you later."

She rushes over to Owen, throwing herself into his arms and planting a big, sloppy kiss on him. Owen pulls back, more than a little surprised. "Who are you and what have you done to my wife?" he asks knowing that she is not fond of PDAs.

"Can't a woman just be happy to see her husband?" she asks indignantly and then in response to Owen's all-too-knowing glance, "Especially when that husband may have information that could blow my Patient C search wide open!"

"Okay, I am not really sure about that last one, but I see you were talking to Maggie and Jo so I take it you heard what happened in the staff meeting?" Owen replies as they sit at a table in the corner.

"Not exactly. They just said that Izzie was in Atlanta and is founder of the Center you guys went to. You didn't know that beforehand?"

"No," Owen shakes his head. "Her name doesn't appear anywhere in the literature about it. She has preferred to keep her name out of the public eye."

"So what happened between her and Alex?"

Owen rubs his hand over his face, grunting a little. "That bad?" she questions, and when he can only nod, she adds, "Well, it's a good thing Bailey doesn't know he went." She draws out that last line, taking note of the look on her husband's face and casting an eye back over to Maggie and Jo. "The staff meeting is where Maggie and Jo heard about this, so Bailey does know."

"Dr. Thomas sent an email to Bailey and Arizona to express her displeasure at Alex's less than professional behavior."

"And?"

"And Bailey and Catherine let Nathan and I off with a verbal reprimand. Arizona is being written up for allowing a suspended staff member go without proper clearances, but none of us will face any other disciplinary action. Nor will Alex if and when he is allowed back to work. However, per the Center, Alex is not permitted back to the facility, nor are any other doctors not directly involved with a case without proper clearance from them first."

"Wow. No wonder you weren't in a good mood when we talked the other night," she smiles sympathetically as she takes her husband's hand. "You've had a rough couple of days, huh?"

Owen shrugs. "It could have been worse." They sit quietly for a few minutes. He lifts his wife's hand to his lips and kisses it as she caresses his face. "Since you weren't at the meeting, I might as well tell you this other bit of news that I blurted out without thinking." When Amelia just sits, waiting for him to continue, he sighs. "It appears Derek was an investor in this Center, a $1 million dollar investor."

"What?" she gasps in surprise. "He never mentioned it. Mer never mentioned it."

"She didn't know."

"She didn't know?" Amelia repeats confused. "How could she not know? We're talking about a million dollars!" she shrieks louder than she intended, grimacing when she sees people at other tables turn towards her. Lowering her voice, she turns back to Owen, "Seriously, how could she not have known?"

Owen shakes his head. "I am really sorry I blindsided her with that info, but, for me, the bigger question is, why doesn't Izzie want her name publicly associated with a Center she founded and funded largely herself, minus the handful of investors?" He takes out the brochure. "The Center is great and for her not to want to be recognized for her work there ... I'm sorry, I don't get it."

Amelia flips through the brochure as Owen finishes his coffee. "Too bad Derek never got to see the end product of his investment," she says quietly.

Owen reaches over and takes her hand now. She looks up at him, eyes glassed over. "I know how much losing him still hurts you and I wish I could grant you the miracle I got with Megan." She just nods, wiping away the moisture in her eyes before they turn into actual tears.

"I went to his grave," she says so softly that he just barely hears her.

"Wow," he says, his voice low. He knows she would not want anyone hearing them. "Was it ... "

She shakes her head. "It wasn't a special day or anything like that. I didn't actually go there to 'visit' him. No," she laughs bitterly now, "I trudged through the mud to his grave to find his elusive Patient C and the only thing I got from it, besides muddied shoes and pants, was a lecture from my dead brother's spirit/ghost or whatever you want to call it about how I basically blew any chance of finding Patient C." Her husband smiles wanly at her, not sure where to go with this, so he just waits. "She was there to pay her respects, left a flower behind and a couple pictures of her kids. Oh, and the C stands for Cricket," she rants, her frustration over this whole thing spilling out.

"She left pictures of her kids?" Owen queries confused.

"Yeah, I think I have at least figured out that she was pregnant. Derek monitored her during her pregnancy because of a pre-existing condition. In fact, I will go so far as to say that he may have signed off on her getting pregnant since Mer said he had signed off on some procedure for her. She was pregnant with triplets."

"How did you find out her name?"

"The cemetery manager."

"The cemetery manager? What, did she sign a visitor's log or something?"

"No, apparently he recognized her from when she used to go to the cemetery years ago to visit her fiance's grave. She told him once that her name was Cricket."

He nods slightly. "It's not really a lot to go on, so I am not sure how you think I can help you blow this wide open."

Amelia leans in closer to him. "You can by helping me prove Izzie is Cricket."

Later that evening Maggie is still trying to bolster Jo's spirits about the whole Alex/Izzie thing. "I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to talk to Alex," she says sympathetically as she and Jo plop on the couch in Meredith's living room, shots in hand.

Jo simply shrugs. "At least I know he's here under this roof and is okay."

"It will be okay, Jo," Maggie insists. "It's like Amelia said earlier, you and Alex are together now and, despite your current troubles, love each other. So what that he saw Izzie? It sounds like her life is in Atlanta now, so it's not like she's coming back here with Alex Jr. or something."

Jo appears to think about this for a moment. "I'll drink to that," she says finally, and as they clink glasses, bursts out laughing.

"That's it!" they suddenly hear Meredith shriek from upstairs. She comes barreling down the stairs, wide-eyed, from her bedroom where she had been, unsuccessfully, trying to get some shut eye. Standing in front of them now, she announces, "Derek had a personal bank account!"

"Okay ... your point?" Maggie queries confused.

"When we got married, we agreed to keep whatever we had before in our own personal accounts and from the day we got married we put all our money into a joint account. That is probably where the $1 million came from, his personal account."

"Okay ... your point?" Maggie queries, still confused.

"My point is, I forgot about this account and it's still probably open, getting interest mind you, but nobody is monitoring it."

"Because?"

Meredith sighs, frustrated at how dense her sister is being, before snapping at her, "Because he's dead. It was HIS personal account!"

"Oh, okay. Now I get it." Maggie turns to Jo and mouths, "I think."

"What she's saying is, on top of the joint account they shared, she and Derek had their own personal accounts. She forgot about his personal account, so the account is just sitting out there, collecting interest and dust, because no one notified the bank that Derek is dead," Jo clarifies before asking, "Wouldn't you still be getting statements from the bank?"

"Derek did everything online," Meredith replies. "I should go there tomorrow and close the account."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Maggie asks.

"No, Alex will go with me," she says.

Meredith turns to go back upstairs. "Oh, and Jo, he told me to tell you he will get in touch with you tomorrow." Back in bed, she looks over at the picture of her husband on her night-table. "Was that it, Derek? Was Izzie starting up this Center and your donation what you wanted to tell me about her?" She sighs heavily now. "I guess that's the million dollar question?" She lays her head down on her pillow, knowing she's not likely to get any kind of rest until she figures this out.

Owen and Amelia were looking forward to having a day off together. Some time to decompress and actually just be with each other, but the universe had other things in mind. At the crack of dawn, she got paged. One of her patients had an emergency and now she will be spending most of her morning in surgery. They had talked a little more when they got home the night before about her theory that her Patient C mystery and Izzie were somehow connected, but, honestly, Owen wasn't seeing it. If Derek had treated Izzie in any capacity, whether it be due to her cancer or monitoring her because of the cancer, why would he have kept that a secret? After all, Izzie was one of their own. They all cared about her, especially Meredith. At the very least, he'd have told her, right? He was still mulling this over in his head when his cell phone rang.

"Atlanta?" he says curiously, eyeing the number that flashes on his screen. "Hello."

"Dr. Hunt."

"Izzie ... Your ears must be ringing because I was just thinking about you."

"I thought your ears only rung when someone is talking about you."

"Touche." Owen can't help but smile. "How did you get my number?"

"I may have changed my cell phone number when I left Seattle, Dr. Hunt, but you, apparently, have never changed yours. I still have all my old contact numbers."

"And I'm going to take an educated guess that the number that appeared on my screen is not your cell phone number."

"No, it's the direct number to my office at the Center, and I would appreciate it if you didn't give it out." After a slight pause, she continues. "I do hope that you and Dr. Riggs and Dr. Robbins did not get into too much trouble with Chief Bailey. I had no idea about the email Dr. Thomas sent until she'd already sent it."

"No, it's fine. We were in the wrong where Dr. Karev was concerned, but it's all good."

"I'm glad," she says softly.

"But that's not why you called."

Izzie sighs now, wincing as she massages her left temple. "No, it's not. I actually need your help with a couple of things involving your ex-wife and current wife."

Owen's eyes widen in surprise, curious where this is going.

"Christina has sent me a few texts over the past couple of days asking why out of the blue you texted her wanting to know if we were still in touch. I've told her that I have no idea, but she's being persistent. Would you get in touch with her and explain why you did that?"

"Yes, of course," Owen assures her, confused as to why Christina would have followed up with Izzie about his text and not him directly. "It's really not a big deal. Your name ... "

"I'm sorry, Dr. Hunt," Izzie interrupts, "but the reason you texted Christina, does it impact my life in any shape, way, or form right now?"

"Probably not," he shrugs.

"Then I don't care. As you can imagine, running this Center can be very stressful, as well as my other day-to-day obligations." She winces again. "I'm sorry, can you hold a second?" Without waiting for him to respond, she puts him on hold, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath as she massages both her temples now. She then reaches into her drawer and takes out a pill bottle, taking a couple out and downing them. She takes another deep breath. "Okay, I'm back. I just don't need the added stress, so if you can take care of that for me I'd appreciate it."

"Consider it done," Owen assures her. He pauses slightly before continuing, "But Izzie ... "

"Now about your current wife."

"Amelia?"

"She is your current wife, correct?"

"She is," he nods bemusedly, "I just can't imagine what you want to discuss in regard to her, especially since you two have never met."

"That's true we haven't, and yet she's very interested in my medical file, going so far as to pay a visit to Legal for a copy of it."

Owen's eyes narrow. "I'm sorry I don't understand."

"My medical file was sealed by the hospital's Legal Department. Amelia, apparently, wants to get her hands on it and visited Legal to do just that. She even tried to claim I was sick again to get her hands on it."

Surprised that Amelia wouldn't have mentioned this, he falters for a few moments, processing what she's just told him. "You're not though, right?" he asks now.

"I'm not what?" she asks confused.

"Sick again? When we were in the meeting, your pen rolled off the table. You looked down to where it was, but didn't pick it up. You couldn't see where it landed ... and, if I recall correctly, blind spots was one of your original symptoms." A long silence ensues as Owen listens to her breathing and Izzie taps her fingers on her desk. _I should have just left well enough alone_ , she shakes her head. "Izzie, if you're ..."

"Don't make that out to be more than what it was, Dr. Hunt," she says now.

"Really?" He can hear her shutting down, but still tries to persist. "What was it then?"

Izzie shrugs. "I had an eye doctor's appointment that morning. My pupils must have still been slightly dilated, that's all. Not a big deal." Owen doesn't respond and Izzie can tell through his silence that he doesn't believe her, but that's not her problem right now. "What is a big deal is your wife trying to get your hands on my file and possibly opening up a can of worms for the hospital."

"I don't understand. How can Amelia getting your file open, as you call it, a can of worms?" he demands. "I didn't know anything about this. I don't know why Amelia would be after your file. I mean she's been trying to find out about a former patient of Derek's named Cricket. How your medical file ... " He stops talking when he hears Izzie inhale sharply. "... Oh my god, you're Cricket, aren't you?"

"Dr. Hunt," an ashen-faced Izzie stammers.

"I don't understand," he continues. "Why would Derek not tell any of us if you were having problems again? And why would he label the file 'Patient C'?"

"Dr. Hunt!" Izzie says, more forcibly now that she's regained her composure. "None of what you're asking matters. My file has nothing to do with ... anything you're talking about. The only thing Amelia's going to accomplish, if she pursues this, is opening up a huge can of worms. So, please, you need to convince her to let whatever she's trying to do go."

"Why would I do that?" he asks now.

"Because you cared about Derek and Christina, and I'm assuming you care about the people who still work at Grey Sloan Memorial." She sighs now. "And I am assuming Amelia cares about the legacy her brother left behind, not just at the hospital but personally. If you do and if she does, then you will both do the right thing and let sleeping dogs lie. Dr. ... Owen, believe me when I say, nothing good can come from Amelia getting her hands on my file, so you need to convince her to let it go."

Her calling him 'Owen' is the first time since they unexpectedly ran into each other that he has gotten a feel of the Izzie he knew here in Seattle. "Izzie, talk to me ... please," he implores. He turns when he hears the door open. "Hey, I brought lunch!" Amelia begins happily, but stops when she sees he's on the phone. "Sorry" she mouths.

"Izzie," he says, redirecting his attention back to his call.

"Enjoy your lunch, Dr. Hunt," she says before he can say anything more. She disconnects the call, leaving him feeling frustrated that the momentary distraction was just enough time for her to shut down and let her guard back up.

Amelia sets the takeout on the table. "That was Izzie Stevens? What did she want?" His wife's eyes are wide in anticipation of possibly some good news.

Owen sighs, as he looks between his wife and the phone still in his hand. "Nothing," he shrugs, "she just wanted to make sure Arizona, Nathan, and I didn't get in too much trouble with Bailey." He winces at the disappointment that flashes in her eyes, but he knows Amelia would go barreling ahead with any information he'd give her without any thought to possible consequences.

As Amelia sets the table for lunch, he replays the call in his head. The Patient C mystery aside - _Izzie never actually confirmed she was Patient C_ \- he was especially focused on the Christina reference. _What did she mean by if I cared about Derek, Christina, and those who still work at Grey Sloan, I'd let sleeping dogs lie? Derek and Christina were the lead doctors on her case, the particulars of which were well known around the hospital since she was a doctor there, so why would Legal have sealed her file? If Christina texted Izzie, then obviously she knew how to get into touch with her, so why wouldn't she have ever told him that or Meredith for that matter?_

"Owen!" Amelia calls out sharply, startling him. "Ready for lunch?"

"Yeah," he nods, smiling pensively, "I'm ready for lunch."


	10. Ignorance Isn't Bliss

Sleepless in Seattle, that's what Meredith is slowly becoming as it dawns on her that she missed the signs that Derek had been in touch with Izzie over the years. "Why wouldn't you have told me?" she wonders aloud as she looks at the photo of her, Izzie, Alex, George, and Christina. _'I tried'_ she hears his voice in her head. "You did," she acknowledges, her green eyes sad, "but you kept saying she wasn't sick again, so why would you have been in touch with her?" She waits, but doesn't hear a response this time. Sighing heavily, she slams the picture down on her nightstand.

"Maybe it has to do with the Center," Alex offers, as they sit in an office waiting. "I still can't believe he was an investor. I mean, how did we not know that?"

"He didn't want us to know." She looks over at him now, wincing at his rundown appearance. Ever since she found him hiding out at Joe's the other day, he's been uncharacteristically quiet. He begrudgingly let her drag him out of there and back to her house to sleep it off. "So what was it like ... to see her again?"

Alex grunts a little in reply. Eyes bloodshot and face haggard from being hung-over, he sinks further into the chair. So far he has avoided any kind of real conversation about Izzie. After all, it's not like Owen or Nathan talked to him on the plane ride home and since he's been home he's been licking his wounds at the bottom of a bottle.

"What I wouldn't give to see Derek again," she says softly.

Alex looks over at her with a hard expression on his face. "It's not the same," he says when she gives him a 'what?' look, "Derek died ... Izzie left."

"Because you told her to," she reminds him, to which he only shrugs. "If she really wanted to, she would have stayed, but she didn't want to," he insists, surprised when, after seeming to mull that over, Mer replies, "I'm not so sure about that."

The office door opens. "So sorry to have kept you waiting," a gentleman says as he enters. "I am Mr. Freeman, the branch manager. How can I help you today?"

"Good morning. My name is Dr. Meredith Grey and this is my good friend Dr. Alex Karev. My husband was the late Dr. Derek Shepherd," Mer begins.

"Yes, I was so sorry to hear of his death," Mr. Freeman replies. "Derek had been a client of mine since he first relocated here to Seattle. It's been about two years, right?"

"It has," she winces a little, "and I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I forgot about until just recently the personal account he had here. I have a copy of his death certificate and our marriage license. I was wondering if I could just have my name added to the account or transfer the funds or ... " She pauses, seeing the confusion that has come over his face. "Is there a problem?"

"No. I'm sorry, it's just ... have you been receiving statements about this account?"

Meredith shakes her head. "Derek did everything online."

"Right, of course," he replies absently as he logs onto his computer.

"I realize it's been two years," she begins to say.

"That's not the problem," he reassures her. "It would only be a problem if the account is still active and even then only if it's been a full two years, which it has not been."

She nods slightly. "What do you mean if the account is still active?" Her fingers are drumming the armrest anxiously. Alex places his hand over hers and gives her a reassuring smile. She takes a breath, feeling herself calm down.

"That's what I'm looking up," he says, as he asks for Derek's date of birth and Social Security number, which Mer supplies. "Oh yes, here it is. Dr. Shepherd closed that account."

"Oh," she stammers. Her tone is a mixture of surprise that she didn't know that and embarrassment to have wasted the bank manager's time. "You know I just found out about an investment he made in an occupational and physical rehabilitation center, The Shep Mobility Network Center, in Atlanta, Georgia. I mean, it couldn't have been that long before he died."

"You're correct, Dr. Grey," he acknowledges. "It was actually the last check he wrote from that account in January 2015."

"When did he close the account?" she asks now.

"April 9, 2015."

"Two weeks before he died," Alex muses.

"I don't understand," she shakes her head. "There had to be money still in the account, so did he open another account?"

"No, he established several trust funds," Mr. Freeman explains, reading from the computer. "Seven in total, plus two charitable funds." He looks at Meredith now. "You are the mother of Zola Shepherd and Bailey Shepherd, correct?"

"Yes."

"Two of those trust funds are for them."

"Derek never told you he was setting up trust funds for the kids," Alex asks, seeing her surprise.

Meredith shakes her head. A thought suddenly occurs to her. "We had another child. I found out I was pregnant after he died."

"He set up a fund specifically for future children, so I can add that child's information very easily," Mr. Freeman smiles. "The fund will be the same amount as the other two. Any surplus will be distributed evenly among this child and your other two."

"I don't understand," Alex speaks up now. "Wouldn't Meredith have been contacted about these funds? I mean at the very least, wouldn't she be getting quarterly statements or something?"

"Only if she was the administrator of the trust funds?"

"You mean she's not?" Alex continues. "Usually the person who sets up the fund designates a different person to be the administrator."

"That's correct, and Dr. Shepherd did do that," Mr. Freeman replies, addressing Meredith now. "I can tell you since you are the mother of said children that a Dr. Miranda Bailey is the administrator."

Meredith looks over to Alex completely shocked. "She never mentioned them."

She shakes her head, dumbfounded by this information. Looking back to the man sitting across from her, she asks, "You said he set up seven Trusts. Who are the others for?"

"I'm sorry," Mr. Freeman smiles apologetically, "I cannot give you that information since you are not related to them."

"How do you know I'm not related to them?"

"Well, because you're husband said they were the children of family friends."

"What are the parents names?"

"I really am sorry, Dr. Grey, but I cannot tell you anything about those funds since you are not related to them and you're not the administrator."

"Can you tell me who the administrator for those funds is?"

"Sorry, no," and, after Meredith has supplied him with Ellie's information, he asks, "Is there anything else?"

She shakes her head, frustrated. Alex takes her hand into his as he now speaks up. "What about the charitable funds he set up?"

"What about them?"

"Well, can you tell us who he made them out to?"

"No, I'm sorry. Dr. Shepherd was very specific that those funds were to be anonymous. He did not want any details released about them, including that he is the one who set them up. The beneficiaries of those funds don't even know where the money is coming from."

"We're not going to run out and tell them," Alex raises his voice now, "but Meredith has a right to know where the money went!"

"Actually, she doesn't," Mr. Freeman replies calmly. "The account was only in Dr. Shepherd's name. It was, as Dr. Grey herself acknowledged, his personal account. If her name had been on the account, then I would say that's another story, but still legally my hands would be tied to divulge any real information. The funds are a matter of public record, per banking regulations, but the details are still protected. She is the mother of three of the minor children the funds were set up for, so I could give her those details."

"Why would Derek have set up trusts for the kids and not tell me?" She sighs heavily.

"Maybe Bailey will be able to provide more information," Alex says, squeezing her hand sympathetically. She only nods in response.

 _ **xxxxx**_

"Just my luck Bailey would be in surgery," she gripes as they enter the Attending's Lounge.

"Christina, do NOT keep ignoring my calls!" Owen is yelling into his phone. "I am going to keep calling until you either pick up or call me back and I don't care what time of day or night it is there!"

Meredith and Alex look at each other shocked as Owen disconnects. "You look as tired as I feel," she says, as she grabs a mug of coffee. "Why are you trying to get a hold of Christina?"

A still red-faced Owen looks between them as he takes a seat at the table. He shrugs slightly and sighs, which, for him, is usually a sign he doesn't want to talk about it. Meredith and Alex exchange glances as they also sit.

"Alex shouldn't be here," he says to Meredith now.

"Owen!" she chastises him.

"It's okay, Mer. He's right," Alex says, getting up. "I've caused enough problems lately. If you see Jo, tell her to page me." He pauses as he heads out the door. "Oh, and let me know what happens with Bailey."

He winks at her and she reciprocates with an empathetic smile as he departs. "Was that really necessary?" she glares over to Owen once the door has closed behind Alex.

"Like he said, he's caused enough problems lately," Owen huffs, running a hand over his exhausted face.

"I'm not condoning his behavior, but clearly he was shocked. I mean, weren't you?"

"I was," Owen nods his agreement, "but I still managed to be professional. And Izzie was just as shocked as we were and she still managed to be professional."

Meredith just nods, falling silent. "So did you get to talk to her?" she asks suddenly. When he looks over at her, seemingly confused by her question, she clarifies. "I mean about other than the patient you were there for, did you get to talk to her? How did she end up in Atlanta?"

Owen shrugs. "We had a cup of coffee together. I tried asking her about her life now, but she was firm about keeping things professional. I just basically caught her up on the comings and goings here." He takes a sip of his coffee. "She asked about you. She wanted to know how you and the kids were doing."

Meredith's eyes widen a little. "She knows I have kids?"

"Well, Zola and Bailey she knew about. Not Ellie, and I hope you don't mind but I ended up telling her."

"That's fine," she smiles tightly, and then after a few moments, "Did she ask about them by name?"

Owen thinks a moment. "Yeah, I ... believe she did." Seeing her surprise, he offers, "She knew about Derek's death, so maybe she read their names in his obituary."

"Maybe," she allows, though her tone indicates that she doesn't believe that. Her pager goes off. Bailey is done surgery. "Well, I have to go. Good luck getting a hold of Christina."

"Thanks," he murmurs, looking down at his phone frustrated.

 _ **xxxxx**_

"You wanted to see me," says Bailey as Meredith enters her office.

Bailey motions for her to have a seat, but Mer remains standing. She stares long and hard at her Chief of Staff, who, long before becoming the chief, was her scary resident who evolved into a nurturing teacher and mentor. Her small stature is made up by her forceful nature and larger than life personality. She has only had to look at a person once - usually stone-faced and steely-eyed, often nicknamed evil-eyeing - to get them to do what she wants. And it never mattered whether the person was above her in rank or not.

"Grey?" Bailey calls out, concerned. "Is there a problem?"

Meredith takes a deep breath as she walks right up to the edge of the desk and stares her straight in the eye. "I need you to be completely straight-forward and honest with me," she says intensely.

Bailey eyes her confused. "When haven't I been?"

"Well, until the other day, I would have said never."

Bailey nods slightly, leaning back in her chair. "Is this about Izzie and the Center?"

Meredith's gaze hardens. "You knew about Derek being an investor in the Center!" she accuses.

Bailey sighs now. "I did," she admits, adding after allowing Meredith time to digest that information, "I'm an investor myself, just not to the tune of $1 million dollars."

"Why didn't you or Derek tell us?" Mer demands.

"As I explained at the staff meeting, Izzie has preferred to remain behind the scenes. We were simply respecting her wishes."

"And you didn't think I had a right to know about Derek's investment?" she continues.

Bailey shrugs. "The way I understood it was that the investment was from his own personal money." When Meredith rolls her eyes, Bailey concedes, "Maybe you did have a right to know, but it wasn't up to me to tell you. It wasn't my investment, Grey. It was his, so it was up to him to tell you."

Meredith nods slightly, running a hand through her dirty blonde hair. "I'll give you that one," she allows, blowing out a frustrated sigh. "I just feel like you knew more about what might have been going on with my husband in those final weeks before he died than I did."

Bailey looks at her inquisitively now. "We're not talking about the Center anymore, are we?" she asks.

"No, we're not," Mer says tightly, crossing her arms. "I just came from the bank and apparently my husband set up trust funds for our kids, trust funds he NEVER mentioned."

"Okay," Bailey says simply.

"You NEVER mentioned these trust funds either, Bailey!" Mer fumes.

"Why would I mention them?"

"Because you're the administrator of said funds!"

Bailey's face softens in understanding. "That's right ... I am," she nods in agreement.

Meredith's face becomes even harder. "You sound like you are just remembering that!" she screams.

"Grey, calm down!"

"Don't tell me ... "

"Grey! Take a breath, calm down, and SIT down!" Bailey orders, giving her the look.

Begrudgingly, Meredith does as she's told. "But you better have a good explanation for this!"

"For what?"

"What do you think? For not telling me! But obviously you didn't tell me because you forgot!"

"I did not forget, Grey," Bailey assures her. "It's just not at the forefront of my mind. I get quarterly statements that get filed a way in a drawer. I mean I don't have to do anything until they are eighteen."

Meredith's breathing slowly evens out, though she's still staring at her boss cross-eyed. "I just don't understand why Derek never told me he was setting up trusts for the kids and why you have never mentioned them in these past two years."

"Grey, I'm not sure what you are thinking exactly, but it's not like there was a conspiracy between us to keep this from you. My understanding is that he planned on telling you after he got back from that last trip to D.C., but ... "

"He died," she finishes for her, turning her head away to blink away the tears that spring to her eyes.

"Yes," Bailey says softly.

Meredith looks back at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Grey, what happened after Derek died or, more to the point, what did you do after he died?"

Meredith's eyes cloud over, confused by the question. Bailey sits, patiently, watching as Meredith's mind clearly drifts back to that time. Meredith nods now in seeming understanding. "I went away," she realizes.

"That's right. For months none of us knew where you were. And, honestly, when you got back ... I'm sorry I just didn't think about it. At that point, I was getting the statements regularly that it was just automatic: file it away and don't worry about it. To be perfectly honest, I forgot that he never got the chance to tell you."

"He never even mentioned that he was thinking of doing that. I mean what did he tell you about this?"

"He just wanted to make sure the kids would always be provided for in case anything happened?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know, Grey." she says exasperated now. "Maybe a father leaves the house for an overnight business trip and gets run over by a semi? Or a doctor goes to work and gets shot by the disgruntled husband of a dead patient? Really, you of all people need to ask that! And this was, Derek," she adds softly, after a slight pause, "whose own father went into work one day and never came home because he was shot and killed during a robbery. He was always very cognizant of the fact that parents don't always make it home, Grey, and he simply wanted to safeguard his children's future."

Tension begins to fill the office now as Meredith wipes away tears. "He never shared those concerns with me, but he obviously did with you."

Bailey rolls her eyes. "Grey, it's not like he and I sat down and had long, philosophical discussions about this. It came up a couple times in conversation, that is all," she assures her.

Meredith nods seemingly accepting this. She takes a few moments to fully settle down before proceeding.

"What about the other funds he set up? Are you the administrator for them too?"

Bailey, who had turned away from Meredith to file some paperwork, pales slightly. She spends a few extra moments pretending to put something away before turning back to Meredith. "I am," she says simply.

"So you know who these kids are? The banker stated that Derek said they were the children of family friends?"

"I know the family. One of the kids he set up a fund for is a former patient of mine. You remember, I'm sure, when Derek had gone to D.C. for a preliminary meeting regarding the brain mapping and I asked him to consult on a case involving a former patient of mine while he was there?" When Mer nods, she continues, "It's that family."

"You asked me to be honest and straight-forward with you, so I will be," she continues after a few moments have passed, "I didn't think it was a good idea, but it wasn't my money and I get that he felt very protective of the family and he wanted to make sure the kids were provided for in case anything should ever happen to their parents."

"I see," Meredith says. She is looking anxiously at Bailey now. "Do I know them? The patient and/or her parents?"

"You ... never met the patient," Bailey says carefully. "Only Dr. O'Malley and I worked on the case when she was here."

"Well, I would like to meet them."

"Who?"

"The family, who else."

"I'm sorry, Grey, but that's not going to be possible."

"Why?"

Bailey sighs heavily. "The parents don't know that Derek set up these funds. They're very private people and very proud people, the father especially, and that's why I didn't think it was a good idea ... " her voice trails off momentarily as she tries to think the best way to explain. "Don't you think they would find it odd you suddenly wanting to meet them years after Derek's death?"

"I guess I can see your point," Mer demurs reluctantly. She starts to get up when she suddenly asks, "Are you the administrator of the charitable funds he set up?"

"No! And thank god!" Bailey exclaims emphatically. Seeing her surprised reaction, Bailey points out, "Grey, you know that I really don't like being involved in the personal business of the people I work with. I didn't even want to be the administrator of the trust funds, but he set that up before he even asked me. Probably because he knew I'd say no. And before you ask, no I don't know who the administrator is. I believe he went through some attorney friend of his from his New York days."

"Oh, okay." Meredith stands now. "Thank you for being straight-forward and honest with me about this."

"Of course," Bailey smiles, "and I am sorry that it never crossed my mind to tell you about the Trusts for your kids. It really, truly never did."

"I get it, I do," Meredith assures her.

When she pauses, remaining standing in front of her desk, Bailey looks at her curiously. "Is there something else, Grey?"

Meredith nods hesitantly, sitting back down. "You obviously know how to get in touch with Izzie? Well, I would like to talk to her, maybe even see her. Can you give me her phone number?"

Bailey looks at Meredith squarely now. "No, not without her permission."

"Bailey, Izzie and I have been friends for years," Mer points out, surprised by her stance.

Bailey leans back in her chair again, grimacing. She really hates getting in the middle of other people's business and relationships, but with everything Izzie has been through over the years she's become very protective of her.

"Not in the last five years you haven't been," she notes, "and, given that Dr. Karev is your self-described 'Person' and what just transpired between them, forgive me for being a little wary of your reasons for wanting to talk to her."

"This isn't about Alex," Meredith insists. She pauses, trying to sort out her own jumbled feelings for her once good friend. "She's actually been on my mind even before I found out about what happened in Atlanta. Her name came up in a conversation between Amelia and I and ever since I've been thinking about her. And I remembered that Derek had wanted to talk to me about her a couple times over the years and now I know he was an investor in a Rehab Center she founded." She looks pleadingly at her COS now. "Really, I just want to talk to her."

Bailey purses her lips, thinking. "Not without her permission," she reiterates finally. "Let me call her and I'll get back to you. Give me a half an hour. I'll page you."

"Thank you," Meredith says, as she gets up and leaves the office.

Bailey sighs, running her hand across her forehead, as she picks up her phone.

 _ **xxxxx**_

Izzie is in her office doing paperwork. A shadow of a person can be seen sitting in the chair in front of her desk, but she is purposely ignoring them as she keeps her eyes squarely glued on the work in front of her.

"Ignoring me is not going to make me go away or make me any less real."

She bites down on her lip to keep from responding. "Oh, thank god!" she says when her cell phone rings. Though she rolls her eyes a bit when she sees who's calling, she still welcomes the distraction. "Hey there, Bailey!"

"Stevens, I hope I am not calling at a bad time."

"No, just doing some paperwork." She gets up and walks over to her office window that looks over the children's play area. "What's going on?"

"I know we talked briefly the other day, but that was a conference call. I did want to reach out to you personally and see how you are doing. I am truly sorry about what transpired. I had no idea Karev was going."

"I know that, Bailey. I know you would have warned me that he was if you had known."

A slight pause lapses as Bailey considers how to address the things she wants to with her former intern. Even across the long-distance line, she can sense her emotional distance. "Michael called me a few days ago," she says finally.

"He did?" Izzie's brow arches in surprise. "Why?"

"He wanted to know if I had heard from you."

Izzie's eyes cloud over with confusion. "I don't understand. He just wanted to know if you had heard from me? That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, maybe he thought I would have heard from you while you were here in Seattle," she says pointedly. Izzie's face pales. "That was you I saw standing on the outskirts of the Bay outside the hospital earlier this week, wasn't it?"

"Bailey, really, I don't know ... I mean, seriously, why would I be in Seattle?"

"Why indeed?"

Izzie frowns, realizing she's been caught. She plops down on her office sofa and sags back against the cushion, shaking her head. She realizes there's no point in lying.

"I was there for a conference," she says finally. "And I initially didn't think I would have any free time, but I did so on my way to the airport I thought I would come by the hospital and see the new Chief of Staff in action. But when I got there, you were a little busy. I mean there were like two or three ambulances pulling into the Bay, right? So I left. I didn't realize you had seen me considering how chaotic it seemed to be."

"Why would you even come to the hospital and risk being seen by any number of the doctors who still work here that know you?" Bailey questions. "The fact that you would do that leads me to believe that maybe you were here to see someone else."

"Like who?"

Sighing, Bailey decides to try another approach. "You know, right before I saw you, Amelia Shepherd thought she saw Derek standing in that very spot and Amelia is trying to find out about Derek's Patient C."

"I already know that Bailey," she sighs. "Well, I didn't know that first part, but the second part I already knew." Her eyes focusing on the person still sitting in the chair, she remarks off-handedly, "Maybe Amelia has a tumor that makes her see dead people too."

Bailey's eyes widen. She senses that Izzie doesn't even realize what she's just said and knows she needs to tread carefully. She realizes Izzie is in denial about her condition.

So is that it?" she asks softly. "Were you here to see Amelia about the dead person you're seeing?"

"Bailey, if this is the only reason you called, I have paperwork to get back to."

"You didn't answer my question."

Izzie sighs. "I have to go."

"There is another reason I called," Bailey relents, realizing she needs to let the issue of Izzie's health slide for now. "Meredith has asked me for your phone number. She would like to talk to you, maybe even see you."

Izzie droops back into the couch, running her hand through her hair. She was both expecting this and not expecting this at the same time.

"What does she know?"

"That you are the founder of The Shep Mobility Network Center and ... "

"And?" Izzie's eyes narrow impatiently.

"And that Derek was an investor in the Center."

"How did she find that out?"

"Dr. Thomas apparently mentioned it to Dr. Hunt and Dr. Hunt blurted it out during a staff meeting. I think she has questions."

Izzie lets out small moan of displeasure. She's been dreading this moment for as long as she can remember. "I don't want her having my phone number, but I know I can't put this off or it will just get worse, so ... " She pauses, thinking. "Let her come with Drs. Robbins and Riggs on Friday. Maybe with them there, I can have more control over any conversation we have."

"Stevens, you do realize tomorrow is Friday."

"It is?" Izzie asks perplexed. She sits up, leaning over to grab her desk calendar. "So it is. So?"

"Soooo ... " Bailey sighs heavily now. She really hates being in the middle of other people's relationships. "She has kids and a job. Seriously, don't you think that's awfully short notice for her to go to Atlanta?"

"Did you just say 'seriously'?" Izzie can't help smirking.

"Stevens!" Bailey snaps impatiently.

"Bailey, you are the chief of staff, so I am sure you can arrange to have Mer's schedule cleared for this. As for her kids, they're only going to be here for a couple days, three at the most. I am sure she can find someone to look after them, like Alex for instance. It's not like he's working right now. And if she says she can't do it, then oh well. I don't want her to have my phone number and after what happened with Alex I really need to be able to exert some control over our meeting, so Friday it is. I will add her name to the chart in case she comes."

"Okay, I will let her know," Bailey grudgingly agrees. She pauses slightly before adding more meaningfully, "I hope you know what you are doing, Stevens."

Izzie flinches, realizing Bailey isn't talking about just this Meredith situation. "I do," she smiles, trying to project more confidence than she actually feels. "I'll talk to you soon, Bailey."

 _ **xxxxx**_

Daylight has long since faded, but still Izzie looks down onto the playground. She sometimes wishes she could be a kid again. The cool air emanating from outside feels good as she props her throbbing head against the window pane. Her phone vibrates on her desk, but she ignores it as she reaches into her desk drawer for her pill bottle.

"You know you are beginning to pop them like they're candy."

Izzie pops two in her mouth and swallows them dry, taking a deep breath. She looks over to the picture frames on her desk, gingerly fingering them. Tears spring to her eyes, but she blinks them away. She winces, as the pain intensifies. She makes her way back to the sofa. Sitting, she clutches her head and rocks back and forth, willing the pain to go away.

"Ignoring it and ignoring me is not going to make this go away and is not going to make this any less real."

"You have NEVER been real!" she finally screams. "And you're NOT real now!"

"Then do something about it, Dr. Stevens!"

Her phone vibrates again. She grabs it off her desk, but the number appearing on her screen is fuzzy. She closes her eyes tightly, counting to ten. She opens her eyes and looks at her hand, but doesn't see anything now. Everything is pitch black.

"My head hurts," she whimpers, as she leans down sideways onto the couch, the phone dropping to the floor as her eyes slowly close.


End file.
